Last Thursday morning, about 2 AM, I was arrested on a charge of driving while intoxicated.

I had been out with some friends celebrating the end of the semester.  I had approximately 4 1/2 drinks in 4 hours, and stopped drinking approximately one hour before I was pulled over.  The officer told me he was pulling me over because he saw me change lanes on the freeway (no other traffic, 2 AM) without using a signal.

He asked me if I had been drinking, and I said that I had. At that point he asked me to get out of the car and administered a field sobriety test.  I did not pass at least some parts of the field sobriety test and the officer then arrested me.

I was placed in handcuffs and put in the back of the police car.  My car was towed, although I was given my purse, cell phone and coat.   The cop then asked me if I would submit to a breathalyzer when we got to the police station.  I said that I didn't know whether I should or not.  I was given very little help in making my decision, and in fact the other cop said some things that made me believe that turning down the breathalyzer was the right thing to do.  So I said no.

I was then taken to the police station, photographed and fingerprinted.  Thank God, the handcuffs were removed by then.  If you have never been in handcuffs you have no idea how humiliating it is (although I had my cell phone so I could text even though cuffed.  Strange.)

I managed to get in touch with a friend who agreed to come get me.  I owe him a debt of immense gratitude because otherwise I'd have been stuck a long way from home, humiliated, terrified and emotionally overwhelmed.   While I was waiting for him, the cop asked me again if I'd take a breathalyzer, and I said no.   Did you know that this is the wrong thing to do?  Well, it is.  Turns out, the penalties for refusing the chemical test are in some ways more serious than the DWI itself.  I'll get back to that in a minute.

Anyway, here's what I'm now facing.

- It cost me $100 to get my car back after it was towed.

- I have to pay an alcohol counselor $150 to get a substance abuse evaluation.  I don't really drink that much, so it will be fine, but it's still humiliating.  I'll be urine tested tomorrow.  Lucky for me the thought of having anything at all to drink is utterly repellent to me right now.

- I hired an attorney, who's a good DWI attorney but it's gonna cost me $3700.

- The penalties for the conviction (more on this later) are going to run somewhere between $600-900 dollars.  Plus, in order to eventually get my license reinstated I'll have to pay a civil penalty of $500.

So here's something you maybe didn't know... getting arrested for DWI is expensive.  REALLY expensive.

I met with my attorney on Friday.  He said that because I refused the breath test I'm going to lose my license at my first hearing, which is the 24th, and there's absolutely no hope of a conditional license.  Which means I have to rely on people to drive me to work for a minimum of 2 weeks, and maybe more.  No license.  Within 15 days of my first hearing I have to have a second hearing on the refusal.  At this point my attorney is going to attempt to get me a provisional license, although that's hardly a guarantee.  What's more likely is that I'll be completely without a license until there's a bench trial.

At the trial we are going to go for a reduction from DWI to DWAI, driving while alcohol impaired.  This is not a criminal charge, like DWI - it's like a really bad speeding ticket.  If I am convicted of DWAI I am then eligible to go to alcohol classes (which will cost another $300 or so) and at that time I'll get a conditional license.

The conditional license will let me drive to work, alcohol classes, and court appearances.  That's all.  I will have a 3 hour period on the weekend during which I can also drive, go to get groceries, appointments, but that's all.  And this will probably last for a year.  A YEAR.  My license will be revoked for a year, during which my freedom to drive will essentially be gone.

I gave up my YMCA membership and will have to move to a yoga studio that I can walk to.  No road trips to visit friends.  Can't rent a car when I go home to visit.  For a year.  Work and back, that's it... for a year.  

And if I'd taken the breathalyzer, there's a chance I could have had the whole thing dismissed to nothing... but if that happens now, I can't get the conditional during the year revocation for the refusal.

Anyway, why am I writing this?  For one simple reason: just about every single person I know has driven in the same condition I was in Wednesday night.  Have you?  I bet you have.  And did you think about getting pulled over?  If you did, I'm willing to bet it was just a fleeting thought.  You thought it would never happen.  And for me, for 30 years of having a license, it didn't happen, either.

So here's the thing.  I'm not a drunk.  Yeah, I've had my issues with alcohol abuse in my younger years but now, I'm very much a social drinker.  I can count on one hand the number of times I've had more than a single glass of wine this entire year.  I'm a 46 year old professional woman who has NEVER been in ANY trouble.  Hell, I just recently got my first speeding ticket in 14 years (which now really doesn't seem like as much of a big deal now as it did at the time).  What I'm trying to say is, I am just like you, unless you never drink and drive.  And honestly, how many of us can say that?  Honestly?  Never gotten in the car after a couple glasses of wine with dinner?  Really?  NEVER?  Of course you have.  We all have.  And if you'd gotten pulled over after those two glasses of wine, you most likely would be right where I am now.

I'm not trying to preach here.  God knows I should have known better, but I didn't.  So this isn't a lecture.  It's just a word of warning.  It happened to me.  It could happen to you.  Yeah, it could.  And if it does, it's a lot more serious than you can imagine right now.  If things don't go right for me, I could end up with a criminal record.  Do you know I probably will be refused entry into Canada for at least 7 years now?  Seriously.  This is going to screw up my life for a good long time.  I'm going to have to depend on friends and associates just to be able to do things like go to work, get groceries, take care of ALL my "things"... because I won't be able to drive.  Think about the last time your car broke down and you had to get driven around.  How long did that last, a couple of days?  A week?  What if it had been 2 months?  Three?  How would you have coped?  How would you have felt, having to ask for help?

If I had really known how bad it is, I'd like to think I would have made a different decision.  So I'm writing this so you know. 

It's really, really bad.

 (I have the comments turned off on this post for a reason.  I'm not looking for sympathy or support or anything else.  Don't feel sorry for me.  If anything, just think about what I said here, and take it to heart to whatever degree you will... and that will be all the support I deserve right now.)