The Voice of Everyday Moms

screamin mama

screamin mama
Florida, USA
February 17
writer, voice-over, addicted to blogging, previously almost famous acid rock guitar queen (previously almost famous because I now have kids... hence screamin mama... but, it's still nice to dream), future photojournalist (still dreaming) and the next (female version) George Lucas, Steven Spielberg or Martin Scorcese (yes, dreams go far). Til then, I am ecstatically publishing a monthly/bi-monthly magazine, ScreaminMamas - The Voice of Everyday Moms. If you have a voice in this field and have the urge to write and be published, please email me:! We LOVE stories!!! Also visit our website, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. xox


JULY 23, 2009 10:06AM

Advice, Please!

Rate: 15 Flag

I need some advice. I love kids. I'm all about kids. They are amazing. But I mostly like them outside of my home! In between breaks of working at a childrens theater, I realize I love working there so much because at the end of my shift, they all go home!!!!!!

I'm too damn nice. I let all my kids friends in. I feel it's safe, at least they're not running the streets. But, the eating, the drinking, the sleepovers. Enough! I had a lousy $20 to my name yesterday. Went to the store, bought 4 dozen eggs (buy one, get one free) 2 loaves of bread, a pack of cheese, some turkey slices, drinks and shampoo. (We haven't had any of that in days, weeks it seems - and I know you're all feeling me on this financial dilemma.)

I wake up this morning, one loaf of bread left, half a pack of cheese and 1 slice of turkey. This food has to last all week! The best part is, I have to drive one of them home to get him out of my house and I have no gas! Then my daughter finds a stray kitten (I'm such a sucker) and she brings him home with some sob story. We already have a cat and 2 dogs! I'm too easy. Help!

Summers are too long. They all need to be back in school - and even that doesn't cover enough. Well, thank goodness for OS - because at least when I'm on a break I can vent... and post.. and vent and post.....


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Thanks Jane. I have asked for them to bring drinks and food, and sometimes they do - but right now I'm just really feeling the need to be LEFT ALONE!!!!!! hehehehehehehe Have a good day and thanks for stopping by. I need all the help I can get! LOL
This is one of those posts I keep trying to monkey-finger more than once. Oh, do I hear what you are saying. I am ready for summer to be over with. And there's still a month to go. Still a month to go.
Jane, I think you hit on something. I have always noticed that folks who don't struggle really don't fathom the fact that some of us really, really do. I mean, I don't think I can really blame them, they just really don't know any different. I am glad the kids are here too, but like you, let's spread the love around! Everyone has a home, or even a yard. I will say, my daughter has been spending some time with other friends, and I am hugely grateful to those parents. But because I have two kids, so close in age, there just never seems to be a moment of peace in the house. Thanks for listening and sharing. :)
Gordon, HUSH!!!! LOL
Maybe have a "staycation" - lock the doors.
Hahaha! Yes, Myriad! And board up the windows. Hurricane season is in! LOL
You could make it really boring for Beethoven LOUDLY...ALL THE TIME!!! take up meditation and chanting and offer to "teach" them whenever they get the drift. No one likes to learn anything...set up fall semester "jump start" labs around the table with lots of worksheets and books...have them start a book club...force them to read!

Take any one of those suggestions and you'll either see the kids flee like refugees or, better yet, become better people (I'm sure they are great kids because you are a super woman likely to attract the best...but if they are eating you out of house and home, its time for some learnin').
Ghost, where have you been??? Hahahahaha... words of wisdom from a true trooper! The music won't work because we're all music lovers, but I could start chanting loudly and buy only tuna!!!! They hate that stuff! hehehehehe... now I just have to get the money to buy some! Hope all is well.
You're just too good. ;)

Reading this post and the comments, I feel myself getting a little scared. I'm afraid I'll be one of those mothers. I already have CMS (Compulsive Mother Syndrom) with my brothers, my nephews & neice, my cousins, even my friends. And I stress about making everyone happy, especially when people come over to our place.

I need to read The Tao of Pooh, again.
Thanks Gwendolyn. Yes, I think I should read it again too. All Pooh stories go a long way! Honestly, I love my kids and their friends... it just gets a bit overwhelming at times. Boundaries... it's all about those boundaries!!! hehehehe When and if you have kids, you'll be a great mom. :)
Stellaa, you are too good. I really need some one one one lessons with you. And, yes, I resent those parents too. Sometimes, I find myself taking out my resentment on their kids. I hate myself for that.
Sao, I love the cheerful quip. I must incorporate, immediately! LOL
kids are cool. my 4 sons are now grown: they relive the parental horrors; I smile knowingly. rAted! (it's a wild ride like iv V ii I)
Mr. Mustard, how I await that day... :):):)
Good Vent. Yes one can always vent here on OS to get it all out.
Sounds like you need to sit your kids down and have a good talk with them, tell them they can be eating all the food. Set some boundaries for now until things get better for you. The kitten, if they want it they buy the food and take care of it.
I remember times when my girls were still at home, my house was were all the kids hung out, everyone ate dinner at my house, and slept over. But when times were rough, I sat them down and talked to them, I kept nothing from my girls. So then when their friends came over next, they ate no food, and they respected the boundaries. Sometimes their friends would even bring the snacks over, and couple times they bought food for dinner and ask me to cook it for them. They all loved my cooking.smiles.
I am just saying talk to your kids and tell them what is going on, they will understand more than you think they might. Their friends will understand also.
Good luck.. HUGS
Thanks Fireeyes. Sensible words for sure. We have had the talk and they do understand. Summer is hard cause everyone just really wants to have fun and I'm really a sucker for letting them enjoy themselves. I had exceptional parents as a kid and I really try to do for my kids what mine did for me. Boundaries seems to be what I need to put in place right now... cheerfully and with love! :)
Keep the kitten. Padlock the refrigerator. Get another refrigerator, and fill it with carrots.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries...but hard for a person with such a large and generous heart! I think the important thing to realize is that such generosity is often taken for granted and not appreciated. This is when it's time to button the hatches. You are as important as the kids you are giving to so generously.
MumbleT, I'm on the carrots. LOL
Mary, boundaries, for sure, are in order. It's always been one of my weaknesses... but I must stand strong! For my own sanity! I just love kids too much... I look at their faces, as shifty and sly as they can be, and I just die... laughing inside remembering how I was as a kid. Too much fun. Thanks for your kind words. xoxoxo
You are one of those "cool" mamas, not just a screamin' one. Let's face it, you're a giver and a good, generous person. Buy inexpensive foods and try to keep some boundaries, as Mary says.
It sounds like

1. You enjoy doing what you do for the kids

2. You just need help with the food.

So, tell the kids to show up with some food! They are there for the experiences that they'll remember for the rest of their lives as much as they are there for the food.

And you will be one of those rare moms who, when pulled over 15 years from now, just might be pleasantly surprised to find out that it's one of those kids!

Any manipulative, mooching parents who think that you're running a free service will round their kids up and keep them home when they find their larders a bit low from the petty larceny.
Ha! Wait until they grow up, have kids of their own, and move back in. Teenagers eat like locusts...nothing is safe. The 15 year old even started eating my salad!
I do love rants and this one is a very good one mama.
I once had a neighbor who left for work and told her kids to go to my house to eat. She denied it when I asked. I had to call the state just to get her to keep her on kids.
Some people need a life....
Keep the kitten. Tell these kids how you feel. Sounds like the parents don't care.
Oh, how I love you all. You bring sanity to my life! Lea, hugs... you know I love you... thank you for your kind words. xoxoxo

Zuma, you are soooooo right. I often think of how I remember parents when I was growing up. The mean ones I don't remember much, but the ones who shared their love are a huge part of my memories. They are my examples.

Cruelwench, locusts for sure! Swarms! But I just can't ever see my son eating salad. LOL

Mission... you are just too funny. Parents denying it... too, too funny. The kitten has already been inducted to the household... and now everyone is starting to wake up! Here we go................
It is hard to say no, this is true. But, it is your home, your time, your energy, your money. You have the right to decide who comes in and how often. I would ask the parents if they wouldn't mind giving you a call to check in before sending kids over...that way someone is sure to be home and they'll know if it's a good time for a playdate. AND...before they eat a meal at your place, tell them you need to ask their mom/dad first, to make sure they weren't expected home for that meal...then you can tell mom/dad that if you'd known ahead you would have made more, or hey...let's make it a "potluck"--what would you like to bring? HINT HINT! I'm sneaky, aren't I?
SC, I like sneaky... hehehehehehehe :)
such a good mama you are :)
now when can I move in?
Anytime, Julie xoxoxo