Part of the job of the chemist is figuring out how to do things quicker and cheaper. Saving money is a big part of chemistry. Today, I was working on a research project that would save time on an approved method for water analysis. 

The approved method involves two precipitates formed in three liters of sample. Ideally, the stuff we are interested in is pulled into one of the two precipitates, or co-precipitated, and we can collect it on a filter paper and place the sample on a detector for analysis.

This process using three liters of sample takes all day. My research involves using less sample and attempting to get decent results in a shorter amount of time. Using three liters of sample greatly improves statistics, but forming the milligram amounts of precipitate in that large of a volume takes a considerable amount of time relative to the same amount of reacting reagents in a smaller sample, say 100 mL.

 The purple color seen in the samples is from an indicator. The indicator is yellow at acidic pH and turns purple when the pH has become basic enough. The orange precipitate is ferric hydroxide. Barium sulfate is also there but has fine, white crystals that mix into the ferric hydroxide precipitate. To change the pH, I add ammonium hydroxide solution. The hydroxide ions are what precipitates the Fe +3 ions from the solution.

Filtration separates the precipitate from the supernatant. The precipitate is collected on pre-weighted filter papers and mounted on planchets.

The other part of the reason using three liters of sample takes so long is the filtration. We use a 0.45 micron pore size filter and the precipitate seems to clog it up quite readily. Filtering slows to a crawl and the diligent chemist finds other things to do while the sample filters. Like get into other chemist's business or play games on your cell phone. I prefer to get into other chemist's business.

Frequently in the lab, people take up collections for various causes. Figuring out how to save money for themselves. Now, if any of you were raised by grandparents or had exposure to old-fashioned thinking people, there are certain social events that are taboo. It used to be that second weddings were quiet affairs and not generally announced in a showy display to the public. Not here. People shamelessly post signs by the elevator announcing a collection for a bridal shower for someone on their third or fourth wedding. Abandoned dead husbands have been collected for, as well as collections taken for a woman whose husband dropped dead while she was divorcing him.

In my grandparents' time, it would have been taboo to have a baby shower for an unwed mother. Today it is commonplace. They will not only ask around for money, generally as a 50/50, but then have the nerve to not invite us to the party they are throwing for the mother-to-be, bride-to-be, or soon-to-be buried.

Our favorite is when a supervisor retires and his group asks other groups for money to give the supervisor a gift and we're not invited to the party, either. How terrible must a supervisor be that the group won't even give their own money for the retirement gift, they have to ask the rest of the building to help.

 So we started thinking of a collection to take up for our own group. Since one of our scientists is moving in with his girlfriend, we decided to take up a shacking-up collection. I made a little donation box and we just have to place it in the breakroom and wait for the money to pile up.

Thankfully, people in my group have a good sense of humor. I don't know if these sorts of collections are commonplace at other jobs, but it has gotten to the point that I will hide behind the room divider if I see someone coming with the dreaded 50/50 bucket. No one in this group has ever won a 50/50 in the six years I've been here. I've taken to taping my losing tickets to the wall to remind me not to buy any more.

Maybe I'm a scrooge, but I've got my own family who needs my dollars. Especially now. I used to buy them just to stay in the good graces of my co-workers from other groups, but now I have to watch every dollar so I can't really afford this nonsense anymore.