Boarding the plane to St. Thomas, I had a feeling I'd say yes. There was something sweeping and grand about the way I'd always dreamed of living on an island and working in a field connected to the water, and now I had the chance to do both. When I was little, I used to check out all the books in the library about the ocean and the coral reefs.

The air was humid with sea vapors as we stood outside the airport. The sun seemed brighter here and the sky full of promise. Palm trees swayed rhythmically in the sea breeze as we waited for our ride. My husband was ready to move as soon as he heard about the opportunity. I was a little more hesitant. There were so many things to consider. While St. Thomas is part of a U.S. territory, it is like a third world country in many ways. We would be bringing our 14-year-old son there and home schooling him since the public school system is inadequate. Home schooling alone is  a full time job.

Driving to Magen's Bay on what I considered the wrong side of the road, we arrived just in time to catch a swim at sunset. The water was cool and a shade of blue I only see on postcards. The tourists had cleared out and there were a few locals cooling off. The water felt cold on my legs and my stomach was full of colly-wobbles but soon the environment lulled me into the bay. The locals were friendly and we were sharing pleasant conversation, until a three foot stingray glided past, clearing all swimmers from the water.  I didn't understand why everyone was afraid. Stingrays here on the East Coast are not regarded as aggressive, but when the locals are afraid, I figured it was wise for me to be afraid, too.

I was afraid of more than stingrays. If I took this job, I would be uprooting my family and taking them to a whole new lifestyle, culture and economy. Living in New Jersey for the last 13 years, I have assimilated to a fast paced life based on work, work, work. My husband was the General Bread Winner and I was Lieutenant Bread Winner, but not by much since the gap was closing in the last few years. Now I would become General Bread Winner and he would be scrounging for a job, his whole career and customer base yanked out from under him. 

But here was paradise, a job for me and fresh start for my family. The thing that intimidated me was being the shoulders to carry all the weight. My job at the lab would be what supported my family until my husband got his footing. So many thoughts swirled in my head as I slipped it into the crystal blue water. The buoyancy of my body made me feel weightless, but my heart felt heavy with the decision I faced. 

The next morning I awoke to the sight of sailboats in the harbor. The sunlight was radiating down and the humidity brought a light perspiration to my skin. I dressed and prepared to go to the job interview, ironing my unruly mane and making sure I applied enough deodorant to mask my fears.

That night, after the job interview, my husband and I went into town to discuss it over margaritas. The hot air was diminished somewhat by the circulation of the overhead fans and the cold drinks. I told him what I thought of the new lab and that the new job sounded exciting. He agreed. I also told him my reservations about it.

The setting of an open air bar by the harbor in Charlotte Amalie seemed to dull all my fears. The margaritas certainly helped, but it was the environment and atmosphere that entranced me by day. The air was clean despite the heat. Flowers and copper blue waters hypnotized me.

Visiting the lab for the interview, I was sweating in the tropical heat. I parked my rented Jeep across the street from the marina building that housed the lab upstairs. Walking to the stairs, I saw red land crabs the size of my fist and iguanas through the chain link fence that separated the lab from the mangrove swamp. Later, during the interview, I was told that the lab workers fed their lunch scraps to the land crabs.

 The next day we went snorkeling on St. John. The cool water was filled with squid, sea turtles, tropical fish, sea urchins, and starfish. I knew it would be hard to say no to an environment  like this. So very hard. The squid would watch closely as I swam up, and would change color when alarmed. The starfish were nearly a foot across. The sea urchins gave my husband some spiny barbs to take with him.

  The novelty of it all. Now since I've been home, I can't figure out how to explain to my supervisor that I found a new job. I leave September 1 for three weeks of training on St. Croix. When I return, I need to put in my two weeks, more like a month, notice that I'm leaving. It's extremely difficult.

I'm busy trying to consolidate my life now. Moving to the Caribbean means giving up many material belongings. We got chickens in the spring and I'm trying desperately to figure out how to bring them along. My two conures, AJ and Chico, will also move.

Most concerning is home schooling my son. He will need a  lot of attention. For years, I fought with his school over his education. I felt like they weren't doing enough. It will feel good to tell them to fuck off. I'll finally have control over my son's education. But will I be prepared to handle the responsibility with a full-time job?