"Cardboard, cookie-cutter pablum." I read this line last night in Drew-Silla's recent post
"Comment Deleters & Other Pussies"
and have swirled it around in my brain since.
It's the best title I've ever posted. I need to sharpen my teeth with titles, and the line is not mine. The title line is the prose of Drew-Silla. Before I continue, it must be shared that my comments here are not related to the dust that is covered by Drew on her (pussies? fucktard, the duality of DS's astounding x/y) post, but more a personal reflection on the art of commenting here on OS.
Drew-Silla is one of my favorites, a bawdy tongue, a sharp mind, and one who nails a line with bold strokes. She's an enigma, a mystery, an OS blade, but this post is not about the characteristics of the good writer or the lack of a firm labia. This post is about the art of commenting, or not.
I have said since joining OS that the rating/commenting has caused me the most pause.
I don't have a construct going, so I'll share these thoughts as they come:
1. Rating and commenting are separate functions. Ratings seem to drive the front page, while comments seem to drive the feed. The EP selections are not related. EPicks are pulled from a sack or marked in the throw of a pixel dart.
2. Comments range from the weak to the strong. Often I enjoy a post, but have little thought in the moment beyond the pleasure I have just experienced in reading. I've asked myself since reading the pablum line have I left drivel for the writer? In other words, have I often been a pussy? Do I comment my "feelings" in simple expressions rather than share well-constructed thought formed from a higher order of thinking? Do my feelings offend the strong, the debaters, the logicals? Am I ever strong, a debater, a logical? Do men and women share similarities/differences in their comments? Do I need breast implants? How am I feeling today? Is there really a need for hys in today's language?
3. Sometimes the comments become more fascinating than the post. Sometimes the comments hijack the post. Sometimes the comments lead to great wars of words. Sometimes pirates lead, and sometimes pirates leave. Sometimes comments destruct. Sometimes they encourage. Sometimes comments hold, and hug, and comfort, and share grace. Sometimes comments tremble. Sometimes comments create exits. Sometimes comments are all you get.
4. I love the bold comments, the ones whose writers advise the poster to "try shaping it another way," (thank you Hells Bells), or to clean up the spelling, or to use a better word. I like the responders who remind us to tidy up the usage and to always put the periods and commas "inside the quotation marks," unless of course we live across the pond. I appreciate the academic who say, "revisit your use of the modal auxiliary."
5. I have an OS friend who has raged in the past about the OS trails of slack comments. We arrive on each other's blog and write things such as "Remarkable," and "Breathless." But h/she's my friend, and we mean no harm. It's more that we've exhausted ourselves with each other, or so we sometimes think. Then one of us will write something that reminds us why we have read the other consistently to begin with, and we comment anew all over again. In other words, we don't accept the mediocre from the other, we want the real and raw. Blind fold and shoot me, I've confessed. I don't just record "feelings" with my friend. I don't just bask in the beautiful. Even still, sometimes I'm simply stunned in my meandering, and I record with the tone of a pussy.
6. Pablum. Processed cereal, regurgitated. A sandwich of lazy words. When someone uses a word like pablum, I'm perked. The sounds of words appeal to me almost as much as the meaning of a word. Pablum sounds like a man I once knew. Pablum wanted to be a cowboy so he wore dusty boots, but he wasn't bow-legged and so Pablum's gimmick was up. His ass never saw the backside of a horse. Pablum, you see was merely a puss. Thanks Drew for reminding me about the silliness of the imposter's draw.
Scupper © 4/2010
graphic: blingcheese
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Comments
I am lost.
I can only agree with your thoughts.
Ann, You are "so good, on so many levels." Your trails are thick and full. No waning.
D, C'mere.
I find that your conservative use of the comment square provided adds to the overall feeling of what you say when you do choose to say it. That said, I have been struggling with comments as well. Mostly because I find myself tailoring comments for general consumption and not just saying what it is in my head or my heart that I really want to say. Too much thinking on this has really cut the amount of commenting I do down to the stump. And for that I also feel as if I'm in the wrong.
Beyond the pablum, it's the "white lie" philosophy or the "wolf in sheep's clothing" approach that leaves me cold and it's become very hard for me to even *want* to express my truth in comments. I'm glad your'e talking about this and I know I'll be chewing on your thoughtful remarks here for a while. Thanks :)
1. As a newbie here (less than a month) I am impressed with the high quality of the best comments, and have been privileged to receive a number of them. I was in a chat room at one point in which an inexcusable number of people posted the same lame comment, "Thank you for sharing," to each of their contacts, every time they posted. That goes beyond pussydom.
2. You wrote, "this post is not about the characteristics of the good writer or the lack of a firm labia. This post is about the art of commenting, or not." This is so provocative that I find myself doing mental Kegels at this very moment. I find myself enjoying commenting nearly as much as I enjoy posting. And It is hard for me to balance the two. And if I indulge myself in sloppy writing, I wish someone would call me out on it. I know the inside-the-quotes rule, but sometimes neglect it. Please use your sharp eye to catch it, along with misspellings and blatantly unforgivable bad grammar. If you are taking the lazy way out, I don't need it.
3. I do love the back-and-forth of a good run of comments. It's bracing and exciting. Having never experienced a "real" (as opposed to virtual) salon, this is the closest thing to one I have found. I love groping my way through it, and comments are frequently the best way of finding direction.
4. What Torman said.
5. What Ann said.
6. I favor terseness over windiness, so brevity does not offend me in the least.
7. Thank you for shar . . . I mean, thank you for a bracing and clearheaded post.
You're welcome. Thanks for your thoughts here. I've recently had such a good visit to your blog.
very good of you to broach this topic.
You're voice is always honest, real, rich, thick, and your comments always sincere. Thanks for joining in.
Social exchange is varied: a nod, one kiss on the cheek, two kisses, a wink across the room, a secret handshake/gang sign. Comments columns can be cascading dominoes. I always love that. And comments can be semaphors. Or molotov cocktails. Or engraved Victorian calling cards. What's the gauge for sincerity? I don't presume to know. I take what comes and give what I have in the moment. If I've been basking in the beautiful, I might be too drunk with it to be coherent.
OS is lovely, but in general it doesn't seem to me to be conducive to sustained deep examination. There's too much flitting about for that, too many blossoms to alight upon.
I'm not a fan of pablum, but considering it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine about her love life:
"But, isn't that like eating WonderBread instead of a perfect, crusty loaf of French bread?"
"You know what? WonderBread tastes pretty good when you're starving."
Someone get Duane a compass, or a map, or a GPS if that's all you can find - and quick! Duane gives good comment.
No way that you are wrong, and you've read me plenty to know I stink at rules. The pablum got my attention for several reasons, and I appreciate the exploration that's happening here. Your comment is solid.
CV- Wonderbread. Fluffy good in the right moment.
It's there - I found it in # 3 - for me, carefully disguised as prose.
Sometimes, middle in the night, I Open salon and read something that disturbs me and comment, knowing it shouldn't, in all conscience, be let pass without the poster knowing it reacted - at least with me.
I don't wander around looking for fights, either. But there are things written here, as there are things written everywhere, every minute, all over the world, that I feel should be challenged.
I've been advised to ignore them, but that doesn't work, for me. I have trouble sleeping as it is. And it's an Open site, 23 hours a day.
Polo to Khan : ' There are two ways to escape suffering ( the inferno ). The first is easy for many : accept the inferno and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it. The second is risky and demands constant vigilance and apprehension : seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the inferno, are not inferno, then make them endure, give them space. ' Calvino.
Personally I'm here for the poetry, the craic, and the pictures.
These I praise.
Politics and sex are part of who I am as well, though, and if I engage in what someone dubbed a ' flame war ' - here we'd call it an argument - then it's because I feel I have something to contribute : my opinion. With discussion, or argument, my opinion will often change. Deletions remove the option. A poster might learn from his or her yes-men, but they won't learn much.
I have chosen a side here, to do with sexuality, which is outnumbered: I'm aware but I'm grateful for the opportunity to just engage.
There are many silent readers here. Hopefully more and more will begin to comment.
Thanks for this, scupper.
Pilgrim, Your comments have bolstered many here. If I'm improving, I'm sure some of it is due you, the good reader. I learn from the remarks you share.
On the other hand, I read a few chapters from a friend's book and told him the main character was not coming across as real and it annoyed the crap out of him. He's never had me read since then and went on to criticize my personality after I told him honestly that it sucked. So, where is my motive to be honest with all my thoughts? Usually if I have criticisms, I don't comment or rate, but simply move on. Wish others would do so. I don't see the need for ripping someone apart. (and honestly wish I hadn't been so honest with my friend- it didn't help his book, him or me)
That said, I don't want to be fluffy bunnied to my face and then stabbed behind my back, but I haven't been aware of that happening to me on OS. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Although, I do write comments down when frustrated with topics or people. I just don't post them, and try to remember to burn them later. That to me isn't dishonest, because it usually has very little to do with the person or idea I'm attacking, and everything to do with school, or lack of chemicals, my hormones, frustration with Karen. I read them later and sometimes still agree with the thought process, but usually think "god what a bitch" about myself. I'm very glad for this habit :)