- October 28
- Rogue Soldier
I always believed in redemption through violence until I became crippled and retired. Now I seek redemption through forgiveness.
"...fear, that secret fear that follows every professional to the grave. Namely, that one day, out of a past so complex that he himself could not remember all the enemies he might have made, one of them would find him and demand the reckoning."-LeCarre
"Men die and they are not happy"- Camus
MY RECENT POSTS
- To The Pain at 50
December 19, 2014 11:40PM
- Worse Things
April 07, 2014 04:15AM
- NO SMOKING
April 23, 2013 04:50PM
- The Finest of 2013
April 14, 2013 03:13PM
- Shave and a Haircut and War
August 03, 2012 03:53AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Freedom is worth all and
February 17, 2015 08:45PM
- “We are here and I will
listen. Life is hard,
February 17, 2015 07:41PM
February 17, 2015 03:27PM
- “Sick just sucks and
sucks hard. The cold weather
is no help.
Yet the house
February 17, 2015 03:26PM
- “This just speaks to that
wonderful long, long time
February 15, 2015 05:22PM
Scylla the Rock's Links
"At a certain age a man has to be what he deserves"-
Scylla can’t stop staring. It’s the mirror and this thing he sees there as he prepares to shave. This slight and very thin ugly man staring back. Ugly he knows… Read full post »
“You’re going to do things you won’t be able to live with … it gets worse. And you’ll do worse things, just to prove you can take it.”-James Ellroy
A man stands outside in the early morning, fecund dark and dew wet, the moon is down. … Read full post »
“…the veteran dreams of the fight,
fast asleep at the traffic light.”
The William Jennings Bryant Dorn Veteran’s Administration hospital in Columbia, South Carolina is a sharp looking building residing on the campus of the University of Sout… Read full post »
The finest of 2013
It was MRSA and it was raging and kicking ass in the bones of your spine. The docs missed it for almost ever, finally they figured it out. You survive but you’re fucked, let’s count coup; three vertebrae, two ribs, one lobe of your/… Read full post »
Sarah worried. She departs for a long tour of Afghanistan in a few weeks and frets for Scylla. Her man appears well and strong now but Sarah, having a long, intimate relationship with depression fears he will suffer depression again whenst she leaves. He is alone, says he… Read full post »
The End of the Day
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty
that is all ye know on earth
and all ye need to know."-John Keats
"My fears are reserved for the deeds of the day,
that are fading away..."-Doug Paisley
The 25th Infantry Division (Tropic Lightning), Schofield Barracks,… Read full post »
"To climb and climb forever."
The Wainae bowl from the Kolekole Pass
Sarah and Scylla moved back onto post just short of one year ago. Their neat three bedroom home sits in the shadow of the Wainae mountain range. Near their home runs a road up to… Read full post »
"The moving waters at their Priestlike task
of pure ablution round Earth's human shores."
The truth is that if not for the poke Brother Thomas would not have dragged me out to sea.
Tuesday last, bright and humid after the morning winter rain. After the heavy iron… Read full post »
"It takes a long time before we cease to feel proud of being wanted. Though God knows why we should feel it, when we look around and see who is wanted too."-Graham Greene
She comes at night like a wraith. Her lips and kisses a gossamer whisper. Faint, subtle yet stronger then… Read full post »
"He saw very clearly how all his life led only to this moment and all after led to no where at all. He felt something cold and soulless enter him like another be… Read full post »
What shadows we are and what shadows we persue-Burke
Scylla pushes the Cobra hard down RT 750. His son's car that they rebuilt from the suspension up, the supercharger whines as Scylla steps on the throttle. His son's Rottweiler is standing in the passenger seat hanging her head in… Read full post »
"We cut, we scratched, we rend, we slash
and when he opened up at last
found a cul-de-sac
deep in black."-N. Merchant
Old man steps, that shuffling gate with a cane. Scylla moves slooooow. He cannot believe he is doing this again. How many recoveries can one man m… Read full post »
John Alexander, Our Son
25 September 1987-6 May 2009
A pain without end.
"I think you did your duty.
Unfortunately there are many kinds of loyalty and we cannot serve them all at once. Next time you will make a better choice."
Sarah. She is beautiful,… Read full post »
"Once upon a time we try our laughter.
On the blackboard of pain"-E. Perkins
Alexander II, Alec (or Duece as I called him in our private joke) came home from Iraq in early 2008. That he was suffering was obvious to his father. 12 or 16 or 18 months fighting in… Read full post »
"...Things fall apart; the center can not hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned..."-W.B. Yeats
Scylla squats in the bush above Makikilo Heights. Facing east, watching for the Hawaiian sun to… Read full post »
"Take note of what you seek, for it is seeking you."-Anon
So there it is. A few days after two years, the lad who murdered my son pleaded guilty to felony manslaughter. He was sentenced to ten years with five suspended. So five years in prison. Five years f… Read full post »
"He stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now, sir, we stand by each other always."
-General William Techumseh Sherman discussing his brother-in-arms General Ulysses S. Grant
The car moves swiftly up from lower Kapolei beach… Read full post »
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne?
So a hard year. A very hard year. We must live and remember and love those who've gone. Their strength, and heart and love course through… Read full post »
The mercy of the dead.
"...all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true story-teller who would keep that from you."-Hemingway
After my son was murdered, after the Coroner, after the Requiem Mass, after the burial, after the detectives I was provided with the contact… Read full post »
I recite this speech and pray a rosary each St. Crispin's day (25 October)and Veteran's day. I think of my dead both friend and foe, wish and pray them well. So if any read this; pray for our fallen and remember our soldiers.
-Saint Crispin's Day Speech-
-Henery V-Wil… Read full post »
"While you were sleeping our babies grew,
the stars shined
the shadows moved...
While we stared for hours in our makers face."-E.P.
Today (25 Sep) is my son's birthday. He is 23, yet now he is always 21. He was shot to death 6 May 20… Read full post »
The Book of Love is long and boring
and written very long ago.
It's full of flowers and heart shaped boxes
and things we're all to young to know.- P. Gabriel
I am in debt to OS. I can not single out those of you who have saved me… Read full post »
"He knew only that the child was his warrant. He said: If he is not the word of God God never spoke."-Cormac McCarthy
6 May 2009
His son is dead. He stands silent and hard at his son's bier. His tremendous arms hold up two sobbing, wracking women. … Read full post »