Kolekole Pass

"To climb and climb forever."

The Wainae bowl from the Kolekole Pass

Sarah and Scylla moved back onto post just short of one year ago.  Their neat three bedroom home sits in the shadow of the Wainae mountain range.  Near their home runs a road up to… Read full post »

"The moving waters at their Priestlike task

of pure ablution round Earth's human shores."

-John Keats

The truth is that if not for the poke Brother Thomas would not have dragged me out to sea. 

Tuesday last, bright and humid after the morning winter rain. After the heavy iron… Read full post »

"It takes a long time before we cease to feel proud of being wanted.  Though God knows why we should feel it, when we look around and see who is wanted too."-Graham Greene

She comes at night like a wraith.  Her lips and kisses a gossamer whisper. Faint, subtle yet stronger then… Read full post »

"He saw very clearly how all his life led only to this moment and all after led to no where at all.  He felt something cold and soulless enter him like another be… Read full post »

 What shadows we are and what shadows we persue-Burke

 Scylla pushes the Cobra hard down RT 750.  His son's car that they rebuilt from the suspension up, the supercharger whines as Scylla steps on the throttle. His son's Rottweiler is standing in the passenger seat hanging her head in… Read full post »

 "We cut, we scratched, we rend, we slash

and when he opened up at last

found a cul-de-sac

deep in black."-N. Merchant

Old man steps, that shuffling gate with a cane.  Scylla moves slooooow.  He cannot believe he is doing this again.  How many recoveries can one man  m… Read full post »

John Alexander, Our Son

25 September 1987-6 May 2009

A pain without end. 

"I think you did your duty.

Unfortunately there are many kinds of loyalty and we cannot serve them all at once.  Next time you will make a better choice."

-Le Carre

Sarah.  She is beautiful,… Read full post »

"Once upon a time we try our laughter.

On the blackboard of pain"-E. Perkins

Alexander II, Alec (or Duece as I called him in our private joke) came home from Iraq in early 2008.  That he was suffering was obvious to his father.  12 or 16 or 18 months fighting in… Read full post »

 "...Things fall apart; the center can not hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned..."-W.B. Yeats

 Scylla squats in the bush above Makikilo Heights.  Facing east, watching for the Hawaiian sun to… Read full post »

FELONY MANSLAUGHTER

"Take note of what you seek, for it is seeking you."-Anon

So there it is.  A few days after two years, the lad who murdered my son pleaded guilty to felony manslaughter.  He was sentenced to ten years with five suspended.  So five years in prison.  Five years f… Read full post »

Brothers Paladin

"He stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now, sir, we stand by each other always."

-General William Techumseh Sherman discussing his brother-in-arms General Ulysses S. Grant

The car moves swiftly up from lower Kapolei beach… Read full post »

 Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne?

So a hard year.  A very hard year.  We must live and remember and love those who've gone.  Their strength, and heart and love course through… Read full post »

The mercy of the dead.

"...all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true story-teller who would keep that from you."-Hemingway

After my son was murdered, after the Coroner, after the Requiem Mass, after the burial, after the detectives I was provided with the contact… Read full post »

I recite this speech and pray a rosary each St. Crispin's day (25 October)and Veteran's day.  I think of my dead both friend and foe, wish and pray them well.  So if any read this; pray for our fallen and remember our soldiers. 

-Saint Crispin's Day Speech-

-Henery V-Wil… Read full post »

"While you were sleeping our babies grew,

the stars shined

the shadows moved...

While we stared for hours in our makers face."-E.P.

     Today (25 Sep) is my son's birthday.  He is 23, yet now he is always 21.  He was shot to death 6 May 20… Read full post »

The Book of Love is long and boring

and written very long ago.

It's full of  flowers and heart shaped boxes

and things we're all to young to know.- P. Gabriel

I am in debt to OS.  I can not single out those of you who have saved me… Read full post »

"He knew only that the child was his warrant.  He said:  If he is not the word of God God never spoke."-Cormac McCarthy

6 May 2009

His son is dead.  He stands silent and hard at his son's bier.  His tremendous arms hold up two sobbing, wracking women. … Read full post »

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.  But those it will not break it kills.  It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially.  If you are none of these you can be sure that it will kill you… Read full post »

"Caedite eos! Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius"

(All names have been changed to protect.  There are none innocent.)

PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tumm.

Rain slowed Sandy as he drove the run to the coast.  He had stopped twice to think and make a note or two for… Read full post »

"Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of war."-Shakespeare

12 Feb. 2009.  The day my wife returned from Iraq.  I sat amongst the families, a lone male mixed in with the wives.  I cried as they read the role-call for the dead, while a dozen young men without limbs sat… Read full post »

 "He says, 'Hurt nothing unless you're forced to.'...And yet he lives by death."-D.H. Lawrence

 Come now the dead.  Each morning early, well before dawn they do so come and call for me.  The wounded also walk through my dreams.  They come to visit, to talk, to speak, to see i… Read full post »