Bloody rare. I like my meat. I'm an omnivore, not a vegetarian. Once my first daughter was old enough to start asking questions, I began more seriously investigating my own relationship with my carnivorous tendencies. I taught her that this was "cow meat," and this was "pig meat," instead of hamburger or bacon, for example. Around that time I read Barbara Kingsolver's fantastic book, "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle." Mindfulness, or intentionality in my food choices became important to me.
I got the idea last summer that I'd like to harvest my own meat. Our landlords won't let us have chickens, so that's out. I would like to explore the relationship between taking an animal's life so I can eat its flesh and my own thoughts and ideas about mortality, what it means to be human, all those big ideas. I'm toying with the idea of going hunting. Deer hunting, I guess, is what has crossed my mind.
In On Killing (an incredible book if you're a peace-loving liberal like me as it instilled in me more respect than I thought possible for our military) he talks about how death is taboo. How as in Victorian times sexuality was hidden and therefore became the Holy Grail. Everything was about not dealing with sexuality and sexuality was perverted from those days. These days most of us aren't familiar with death. In past times death was a part of life. Killing chickens or other animals for meat was no big deal. If someone in your family died, you dressed the body for the funeral. It was close and real and undeniable.
I would like my meat's former life to be undeniable to me. Not every moment, but I'd like to face it head on.
In the quest to face the truth of meat, I signed up for a firearms training course sponsored by the North Berwick Rod & Gun Club and the NRA, Women on Target. The experience was spectacular. Most startling to me was what it felt like to be on foreign territory. It was clear that no one, even those people who seemed to think they understood where I was coming from, had any idea. Every single person there had experience with guns in some form or another. I once touched a rifle that a boyfriend had for when he and his father would go duck hunting in the boundary waters of Minnesota, but that was about three minutes of contact with a firearm. That was it. Everyone else was used to them. They had them in their homes. They talked about using them "to protect themselves."
Of course, with the horrible shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, a lot of people are talking about "gun control." There were a couple times in my workshop where I decided to go ahead and bring up some of the issues I knew would be controversial. I surprised myself with how much I held my tongue, honestly. I wanted the guys to like me. But I also didn't pretend to be who I wasn't. It was just difficult to sit back and hear them talking about how "this light's gonna shine on an intruder and scare him away before I even take a shot" as if the terror of a home invasion wouldn't render them immobile (maybe it wouldn't but there was something so television/movie about the way they described protecting themselves).
One of the greatest things I learned in this experience is what an intellectual or even spiritual experience it is to work with guns. There are so many different levels of appreciation or talent. My addict's personality was definitely into it. I wanted to shoot more. Keep shooting until I mastered it. I immediately had a favorite gun (if I were a real fan of the things I'm sure I'd call them firearms, as that's what the guys of the club did) because of how it felt. I was totally drawn into the experience of learning how to hold them, how to not anticipate the shot, how to aim correctly with a variety of different weapons, etc.
What I'm saying is those of us on the outside of gun culture don't understand, or, I didn't, that it's a complex experience. It's not necessarily just a bunch of yahoos who want to go explode some shit with bullets. There is mastery of a skill. There's a major psychological component to the experience. Even writing about it I'm reminded how I wanted to arrange some practice time again.
It's my position that outside of a military or police context, only cowards use fully automatic weapons. This is a statement I think that should become the norm in our society. It's something I think even the most radical right wing fanatics would agree about. I'm not discussing issues of legality or control here. I'm talking about our moral compass as a culture. If we all agree that fully automatic weapons = cowardice, we can begin to find common ground. Stepping outside the "control or no control" argument seems key.
It's also my belief, and the workshop confirmed this for me, that we must require significant levels of training and testing before anyone is allowed to own or operate firearms of any kind. It's not like riding a bike. Even riding a bike takes practice. We ought to, as a society, put firearms in the same category as automobiles. Our government (we, the people) is responsible for our protection. Part of that protection ought to be the requirement that gun owners train, practice, obtain licenses after testing, and get re-tested every year or so (to be determined). We ought to be free to own and operate any kind of weapon we see fit. But those weapons also ought to be available to us only after we show we have the skills required to use them. It's just common sense.
At some point I'd like to detail the entire experience of the workshop. For now, here are some highlights.
My first shots:
The Henry. My favorite. It was smooth and steady. I felt it was my favorite before I saw how I did firing it, but I did alright with it and that made me like it more.
When they took us out at the end to shoot... I forget what they called them, the things that get shot up into the air, several things were interesting. First, there was almost no guidance about how to do this. I liked that, though, because I like doing things to learn them rather than being told how. It was less satisfying, though, than shooting the (very close) targets because it was hit-or-miss. With the targets there was the satisfaction of knowing how close I was getting. Still, it was a fun way to end the morning.
Keeping ourselves safe shouldn't be about getting guns into everyone's hands. It should be about making sure that everyone who has guns is trained in their use. And, of course, criminals will always have weapons. That's not the point for me, here. Guns are scary, powerful things. Holding a loaded gun in my hands was freaky and strange and exhilarating. It was a meditative experience that brought up many philosophical issues that I'd like to explore further. I will explore them further, in fact. I am glad to understand that it's not just idiots who like guns. That's pretty much how I felt, though I knew intellectually that wasn't the case. It was my sense that only idiots would like guns, what was the point in them anyway, right?
Well, if this social anarchist peace loving empathetic and caring liberal can learn the gun culture isn't about assholes and power (only) I think maybe some of those guys from that side might learn that those of us who believe regulating firearms aren't against them entirely. It seems there are opportunities to learn from each other, find common ground, and still hold true to our own values.
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Comments
My first book
http://www.blownawaythebook.com/
was about American women and guns and I interviewed 104 men, women and teens of all ages, races and income levels about their experiences with firearms. I did not grow up with a gun in my life -- in Toronto -- and taking a defensive weapons class changed my life and worldview within seconds, as it did yours.
One of the many complex pieces of the "gun culture" is that owning a firearm connotes redneck-violence to many people, while it's more complicated than that. As someone who lived in terror of a man she dated -- with the cops and DA refusing to take my case -- I viscerally know why some people, like sagemerlin, decide to arm themselves.
Until you have come "inside the tent" of gun use and even handled or fired a gun, it's all abstract easy theory. Decisions need be made from understanding and information, not politically useful and polarizing talking points.
This was an excellently thought out article.
As I was sitting here ingesting some dead pig, unborn chicken and bread made from what was once a living plant, I was also thinking about my experiences with guns, those belonging to the military and my own.
I rarely think about my guns or any guns for that matter.
At the present time, I own a Remington 760 slide carbine in .308 Win., a .22 Ruget 10/22 and a couple of pistols. I don't like to say "handguns" because that is the official scareword used by the media to frighten the gullible.
After all, does anyone own a footgun?
I enjoyed your telling about the way your admired the craftsmanship of your Henry.
Wait a minute, we have to be pc now som it's "craftspersonship".
Anyway, when the sunbject of guns comes up among my friends and me, it's either, "Look at the work that went into making this part", or, "I'd like to wrap that barrel around the idiot who shot so & so".
We are typically ANTI-violence.
Maybe that's because many of us are veterans.
Then again, maybe it's because the vast majority of Americans who happen to own guns are just everyday, normal and friendly people.
I'm surprised the hysterical anti crown with their kneejerk, "It's the guns guns guns" crap haven't checked in yet.
Maybe they're embarassed to see that a clear thinking WOMAN would own a gun and enjoy shooting, even if it's not at a human.
You seem as if you're level headed and intelligent and don't have irrational fears about something which will probably never occur in your own neighborhood.
You're probably a fun person to know.
So am I, even though I'n a "gun nut".lol
I do onw a Ruger.
With all of that, though, I've never felt the kind ease or fascination around firearms that the author describes. Maybe it's because the very first lesson my Dad (a WWII infantryman) drilled into me before he allowed me to pick one up was "Don't point a gun at anything you don't want to kill." Pretty succinct and simple but something that has conditioned my interaction with firearms all my life: Regardless of how much target shooting you do or how much you might enjoy it, their ultimate purpose is to kill, something which I accept, but also the reason I think I never developed the fascination others seem to have. Regardless of that though, I'll continue to keep my guns, whether I ever pick them up again or fire a shot again, or whether I believe in the NRA's interpretation of the 2nd Ammendent (not sure I do). When it comes down to it, if I ever have to hunt to eat, I'll be able to do it. If I ever have to protect myself, or to fight against the theocratic right, I'll be able to do that too.
The next best thing for a power hungry tyrant (be it a person or a government ) that can’t rule as a dictator is to the power of regulation. Regulation allows the rulers to effectively remove from the ruled, any rights guaranteed to them and do so without actually enacting any law. How so?
There are states like NY that make it so difficult and expensive to get a permit to carry a gun that most folks just give up. In order to effectively negate personal firearm ownership in this country the government need only regulate the ownership of firearms and then over a short period, gradually increase the regulations and costs to where only the rich and powerful (the well-connected) are able to meet the regulations and pay the fees and therefore to have firearms.
Don’t think that’s possible? Take a look at what regulation has done for our economy so far. Regulation and costs associated with those have so driven manufacturing and production over seas that Chine has now officially surpassed the US in how much production the country outputs annually and this gap is growing fast.