In the '90s, I needed to write. I had to write. It didn't matter what, as long as words were coming out of me onto paper (or the computer screen). This year is the time when I need to draw or paint. There is a physical need in me to get out all of this stuff, these feelings, these visions, these ideas.

Recently a friend asked me to make a picture for her to buy. So much of me wanted to say I couldn't take her up on the idea. I'm still pretty nervous about how it might work out. What if she hates what I make? I was also worried I wouldn't know what to draw/paint. She asked me to make something that was sort of about her (paraphrasing).

Setting aside my nerves because it was such a compliment that she had asked, I told her I had to wait until something came to me. Then, about a week ago, I started seeing her drawing/painting. I need to check out what colors of oil pastels I have to see if I might start working on her picture today. Her picture has become more persistent and insistent. I see it pretty regularly now. I'm very interested to see how it will look compared with what I'm seeing and feeling in my mind.

The other picture I might start will be of a tree. I already know the title of the picture (for most pictures the title comes to me only after I finish it, or mid-way through the creation process). While I know what feelings the painting will be about, the layout has me stumped (ha! tree? stumped?). I want to draw it on the left side with the branches reaching over to the right, but that feels so school child-like. As I'm writing, though, I'm zooming in closer onto the tree and have some new possible ideas.

When I get into the studio, I want to start drawing something. Anything. I know the huge feelings I have about the studio space might make me start an entirely unexpected drawing/painting once I'm actually in the space.

My friend asking me to make her a picture is an honor. A gift. Even if she didn't pay a dime just her suggestion and the lessons I'm learning about myself and my picture making process are worth so much more than money. A picture made "on commission" just like real artists sometimes do.