Because of all the people! Or global warming! Or something! Thank god there is a hearing on Capitol Hill about this potential catastrophe!
Bet you ten-to-one that the admiral considered replying - for just one mad moment - "As long as they all don't rush to one side of the island at the same time..."


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It's been a laugh a minute in that district for years.
"See, we're all safe when we stay along the edges, now you guys climb on that side and make preetend your the US NAVY troops moving to GUAM. BAM, Dag, nabbit, I told you she'd tip over! We gotta tell the President about this, inform the public!"