I woke this morning and, as I always do, went to my Yahoo! homepage where I discovered that the number one search under the "Trending N0w" heading was for "Snooki Polizzi."  I'm a middle-age father of two who watches, on average, only three or four television shows a week, and none of them would fall under the heading of "reality."  It's not out of intellectual arrogance or snobbery that I don't watch those shows, and (to quote Rob Fleming) I'm not a class warrior (at least I try not to be).  It's simply that I don't have much time.

That being said, I like to keep a relatively high cultural IQ; that is, I like to know what's happening.  I've never purchased (or listened to) a Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber CD, never had a whiff of Heiress or Curious, or watched Jersey Shore (coincidentally, one letter removed from Whore) or American Idol; but I have a half-decent grasp of what all these products are.

So much has been said about the celebrity obsessed country we live in (and much of it by smarter and more in-touch people than myself), but I can't help but wonder how, even for one second, this...uh, person, has caught the attention of anyone. To me, Snooki (I don't dare use the journalistically polite phrase 'Ms. Polizzi') is a person for whom the expression media whore was invented. 

So why was she the #1 search this morning?  Apparently, the answer can be summed up in one word: dildo. Evidently, she used her vibrator on the show and when asked about it said, "I did?"

She claimed embarrassment (an emotion that involves considerably more self awareness than I'm sure she possesses)  and said she'd tell her dad it was a toothbrush.

I have no doubt that Snooki has probably actually confused her vibrator for a toothbrush at some points and that she smells somewhat like an Arkansas strip joint bathroom.  But is this really what I have to wake up to?

I guess that's the price I have to be for staying on top of popular culture in America in 2011.