We bought tickets in advance.  We joked about it all week.  But then, Sunday afternoon, we realized that buying tickets meant we actually had to go.  And that's how I found myself seeing New Moon with a theaterful of tween, teens, Twi-moms, and the like. 

Just so t… Read full post »

In 1999 I donned a cap and gown and made a grand exit out of that cesspool of adolescent enterprise known as high school. 

(If the back of my mother's camera hadn't been accidentally opened by my younger brother, I'd have a picture to post here of me accepting my… Read full post »

Hey!!  Glad you could make it!  Did you park around the block, like I said? Good.  You didn't tell Steve, right?  Great.  It's a surprise.  Now, you know the drill: we all find a good hiding spot, and when Steve gets here we all jump out and shout,

"Surprise!!… Read full post »

My body may be in the car, instinctively shifting and searching for a comfortable position, feigning the motions of someone who wants to sleep, but my mind is on fire. My mind is in the tent with Myra. In that tent Myra and I are forging a new future together, laughing… Read full post »

If I really wanted to be honest with myself, I’d admit that the main reason I agreed to come on this trip is because I thought there might be an outside chance that Myra and I might have sex.

There. That’s why I agreed to it. Surprise, surprise.… Read full post »

I’m stretched out in the back seat of the car idly playing with a Rubik’s Cube while Myra drives around looking for a non-chain restaurant where we can have lunch. So far we’ve passed over twenty different fast food joints and chain restaurants with nary a mom’n’pop in s… Read full post »

Myra is probably one of the smartest people I know. She has a fantastic range of knowledge spanning everything from classical music to quantum physics, and she can hold her own in any conversation she might find herself involved in. I remember a long time ago, well before we were dating,… Read full post »

You know that "I don't really want to smile for this picture but I will because you're taking a picture of me" look?  Sure you do.  Teenagers make that face a lot, especially if mom is behind the camera.  So do those people who don't like having their pictures taken because… Read full post »

One day when I was six years old I got on a school bus and attended my first day of kindergarten. When I was eight, I put on a blue uniform and attended my first day of cub scouts. When I was fifteen, I kissed a girl for the first time.… Read full post »

Myra’s slumped up against the steering wheel crying, and I don’t know what to do.  I put my hand on her shoulder to rub her back, and she unbuckles her seat belt and leans over to hug me.  I quickly try to unbuckle myself as well, but I fumble with the… Read full post »

I was there yesterday afternoon.  I was watching the drama unfold from inside Fenway, Grandstand section 7, row 7, seat 19, and with the Red Sox down 0-2 in the best of five series, I was ready to watch our boys of summer launch one of their famous comebacks. 

… Read full post »

We’ve been riding in silence for an hour and a half now, and I’ve been mentally cataloging all the various ways Myra has fucked me up. I know this is a dangerous game, strapped to our seats inches apart and hurling down the road at 70 mph, but I can’t help… Read full post »

Myra looks like a Myra. I won’t even bother describing her, because you can imagine yourself what a Myra looks like. The name evokes purple swirls, dark and strangely exotic. So does Myra.

Her full name is Myra Edith Madison. Her father wanted to name her after… Read full post »

Before Pete offered me that cigarette it had been almost two years since my last one, but it was like I had spent the last two years of my life dying for a smoke without even realizing it. Suddenly my fate is once again entangled with this little cardboard box of… Read full post »

Myra's at the wheel and I'm strapped to the passenger seat, watching the towns pass by us and letting my mind wander. Every once in a while one of us will open the window a crack, and that's the signal for both of us to smoke a cigarette. I blame the… Read full post »

When Myra first asked me to go on the road with her, I went over to my friend Pete's house to see if I could borrow some of his CDs and mix tapes for the trip. When I got to Pete's house, however, he was sitting on the curb smoking a… Read full post »

Tummy grumbling at the office, you've already eaten lunch, but too early for dinner?  Never fear! What follows is my tried and true recipe for a delicious midday snack, just like they do in Sweden! 

 Ingredients: 
One (1) dollar, whole o… Read full post »

Yesterday morning, after not enough sleep and not enough coffee, I was a little crabbier than usual and made some snippy comments on someone's post here on OS.  I regretted it almost immediately.  "That's not you," I thought to myself.  "You were raised better than that."

That thought… Read full post »

Make your own here. Read full post »

"Where's Shaggylocks?"  you might be asking yourself.  "Did he flounce without even saying goodbye?  Gee, I hope not.  I sure liked that guy.  He was funny, charming, handsome, humble..."

And on and on.  Your internal monologue concerning my whereabouts continues for sev… Read full post »

Okay, let’s figure this shit out once and for all.

If my calendar is correct (and I have no reason to distrust it), in 133 days it will be 2010.  We’ll be leaving this decade behind us and entering the… Teens?  And we’ll be leaving… Read full post »

Like any good community citizen, I try to avoid the big corporate chains when there is a locally owned alternative available.  I frequent the local hardware stores, buy from local pizza joints, buy produce at the farmer's market, and keep big boys like WalMart at arm's length (and I have really… Read full post »

Attitudes and Health (1949)

According to this actor playing a doctor, nearly half the cases he sees could have been prevented if they had just had better attitudes.  So all you folks worrying yourself sick about not having health insurance: lighten up! You'll never make the basketball t/… Read full post »