Three of the Greatest Film Not Available on DVD (Now available on DVD)

Let’s not kid ourselves: injustices abound in our modern, imperfect democracy.  Some, like the corporate financial influence in our electoral system, are big.  Others, like my brother Greg always getting to ride shotgun on the way to the grocery store even though I was older, are small.  I’m here today to talk about one of the small injustices. 

Did you ever see the movie Dreamcatcher?  Based on one of Stephen King’s kajillion novels, this 2003 film is long, incoherent, and not even funny in a bad movie way.  Audiences hated it.  Reviewers hated it.  It’s just bad.  Did I make you want to see it yet?  Well, you can buy the DVD on amazon.com.  Widescreen.  For 9 dollars and 99 cents.

What about All About Steve?  Starring Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, this 2009 monstrosity posing as a romantic comedy is creepy, off-putting, and was probably the product of a room full of monkeys with typewriters.  Or maybe a super-computer that almost, but not quite, understands humor and human interaction in general.  It’s also now available to own on DVD and Blu-ray.  Just $29.99!

Yet despite the plethora of cinematic excrement readily available on Netflix, some of America’s finest films have yet to find their way onto DVD.  Until, uh, just recently.  You see, when I originally conceptualized my “Greatest Films Not Available on DVD” list last summer, I didn’t realize two of the three films I had in mind had just made it to DVD.  So, before #3 finds its way onto DVD and completely invalidates this list, I present to you, in order of personal preference, three of the greatest films not available on DVD (now available wherever DVDs are sold).

#1: One Trick Pony

One Trick Pony is Paul Simon’s second and final foray into feature film (the first being his turn as Tony Lacey in Annie Hall).  In it he plays Jonah, an aging rock star who, after reaching stratospheric heights of fame and fortune in the 1960s, must come to terms with his fading career and marriage.  It’s a fantastic and complex rock and roll movie, and the soundtrack is easily my favorite Paul Simon album (and I have and love them all).  It’s a touching semi-autobiographical portrait of an artist who, in just a few short years, would catapult back to the top with the Graceland album. The scenes of Jonah playing with his young son are alone worth the price of admission.

I suspect Simon’s reemergence in the mid-80s is partly to blame for the non-release of One Trick Pony. Had he faded away into obsolete oblivion, One Trick Pony would have stood as a final “fuck you” to an industry that favored the formulaic hits of Top 40 mediocrity to actual originality and creativity.  But then Paul had to go release an immensely popular, creative, and original album, and suddenly he was relevant again.  Suddenly his dark days of the late 70s and 80s were forgotten.  Don’t get me wrong: I’m glad he regained his musical relevancy, but damn it, it’s too good a movie not to be released on DVD! My VHS copy was well loved and worn out, yet for some reason the studio was too busy peddling Pauly Shore’s BioDome to give a rat’s ass about One Trick Pony.

Until, uh, that is, just recently...

One Trick Pony
Studio: Warner Bros.
DVD Release Date: June 22, 2009

#2: The Pirates of Penzance

Many versions of this Gilbert and Sullivan classic have seen the light of day on home video and DVD, but the best, by far, is the one that stars Rex Smith, Kevin Kline, Linda Ronstadt, and Angela Lansbury.  Pirate wimmin of OS, you know what I’m talking about! It’s stylized, witty, and well sung.  And it stars Rex Smith! KEVIN KLINE! Linda Ronstadt, for chrissakes! Angela frickin’ Lansbury!

This one is legitimately not on DVD. I don’t even have my VHS anymore.  Fortunately this one’s up on hulu.

#3: The Friends of Eddie Coyle

Let me start by pointing out that I only know this film by reputation.  It’s a 1973 crime drama filmed in Boston and starring Robert Mitchum and Peter Boyle, and has never been released on VHS, Betamax, DVD, Laser Disc, Blu-ray, or any other home movie format, ever.*  I’m sure its mystique is due in part to its rarity, but ever since I moved to Boston three years ago I’ve been hearing about this elusive and amazing film.  “It makes The Depahted look like a piece of shit, and The Depahted is a wicked aahsome movie,” said the guy at the video store.  And that guy has turned me on to plenty of wicked aahsome movies.  Paul Sherman, author of Big Screen Boston, calls it “the best damn movie ever made in Boston.”  There was a good quality archival print floating around the area for a while, but I could never make it to the Coolidge or the Brattle or any of the other independent art houses that would play it.  For me, a movie buff, it was the Holy Grail.

*Now available on DVD. Doh!

The Friends of Eddie Coyle
Studio: Criterion
DVD Release Date: May 19, 2009