It has been thirty years since I last felt the warmth of human companionship.  Thirty cold, desperate years.  I have been cast out, like my parents before me, doomed to wander these lands in utter wretchedness to the end of my days.  Am I deserving of this punishment?  Perhaps.&nb… Read full post »

Once upon a time (a rather recent time…last Tuesday for those who demand precision) there was a family of lumpy, bumpy, funny little creatures who, though they didn’t know it yet, were about to embark on a very big adventure…
     *****
     F… Read full post »

My best friend called me this morning, frantic after finding a note on her door marked “Notice of Eviction.”  She has paid her rent dutifully each and every month for the last five years.  But this month, it was late.  My friend lost her wallet, along with all of her rent… Read full post »

My fingers are red and swollen. My eyes sting. I can’t feel my feet. Needless to say, it is cold. I am walking to my job in the swirling abyss of angry consumerism--retail. It is December, and under any normal circumstances I would not be on foot, but my van has… Read full post »

What can you say when a friend is going through one of the hardest times of his life? There are the usual responses: “Chin up. It will all get better. The sun will come out again and all that.” But does that even touch the sorrow? Do kind words build a… Read full post »

A friend of mine and Jesse's really helped us out of a bind today, so this is dedicated to him.

Okay, I am super late to this Foodie Tuesday thing.  But I have this recipe for fried sweet potatoes that I make for every holiday, and they are awesome. 

Also, they are super unhealthy.  But yumminess makes up for that.

For six servings:

Boil 3 large sweet potatoes in their… Read full post »

My youngest daughter, Miriam, was born on August 19, a healthy 8 lb. 6 oz. screaming heap of baby joy.  There were complications throughout the pregnancy--a torn placenta that put any hopes of a love life out of mind for nine months, transverse positioning that meant an almost definite C-section… Read full post »

I’m a regular person.  I really am, or at least I used to be.  After you read this, you may come to see me as some high-functioning schizophrenic, and that’s fine.  I wonder about myself sometimes.  I suppose I could see a doctor to medicate my ecstasy away, but there&… Read full post »

I’m sitting here in my bedroom, in the far from comfy chair that lives in front of the computer, and I’m trying to write.  I have ideas…oh brother, do I have ideas.  But if I sit too long mulling over one thing or another I lose the flow.  Doesn’t come out… Read full post »

Mediocrity.  It’s a terrible word.  It’s even worse when applied as a lifestyle.  But if you’re gonna live it, you might as well own it.  That’s my philosophy.  And thus, here I am, pouring my mediocre heart into my mediocre writing day after mediocre… Read full post »

I smoked too much today.  Always do when I’m nervous.  My throat feels like it’s filled with dry leaves, all crackly and brown.  My head aches.  My mouth tastes terrible, metallic.  I’m lost.
 
Tom Petty says the waiting is the hardest part.  But th… Read full post »

My dad left early on.  I was all of four years old the last time he held me.  He said, “I’ll be back soon, baby.  I promise.”  Famous last words, I suppose.
Who could blame him, though?  He was nineteen when I was born.  Mom was sixteen.  They still… Read full post »

Hello.  My name is Pudenda Jones and I'm President of Asloda Greetings.  Like many of you, I'm troubled each Father's Day by a lack of cards that truly express my complex feelings for my biological father. 

That's why I've created a new line of greetings called Father's Day for Former… Read full post »

Martin the monkey boy lives in a tree
And swings in its branches all happy and free.
He eats ripe bananas
And bugs from his fur,
Then languidly listens while hummingbirds whirr.
Yes, life in the jungle is peaceful and good
For Martin the monkey, at home in the wood.

*****

Then one day while Martin was peacef… Read full post »

In today’s world, we are inundated with ideas, images, and sound bites every minute of every hour of every day.  It is nearly impossible to get away from the constant chatter.  One must have an outlet of escapism to prevent a deepening of our collective insanity and the breakdown of o… Read full post »

The year was 2004, and there I was, riding shotgun in the nicest car I’d ever owned.  J. was driving, though to where seems to have now escaped my memory.  Perhaps it was toward some mundane task that had to be accomplished, like the bi-weekly trip to Crazy Sam‘s Discount Grocer… Read full post »