Shannon Moon's Blog

Life As I Know It

Shannon Moon

Shannon Moon
Location
Ruraltopia, Pennsylvania, USA
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I am a librarian, teacher, writer, philosopher, mother, daughter, granddaughter, perpetual student, recluse and lover of literature and music. What else is there? Really. I can be found here: http://sionainngealach.wordpress.com/

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JANUARY 23, 2012 11:47PM

In Search of Myself, Knowledge, and the Lady of My Dreams

Rate: 2 Flag

I sit here reviewing my entire semester assignments for my 3 classes. I am on the precipice of either a great fall or an enormous leap forward.  I can’t decide which.

 

I see an image of myself. . .I am studying in my free time, actually finding a way to read. I am working and confident. 

 

I want that to be who I am. I have seen glimpses of this woman.  For some reason I cannot fathom, she is wearing a pink skirt suit with an up-do in one image, and her long, brown hair flowing around her tank top and shorts, sans shoes, in another.  I see her laughing.  I hear her amusement, feel her passion, sense her warmth.  

 

I want to be her.  I long for it. 

 

But I am here, trying to find a way to work 2 part time jobs while I go to school full time. I want to be free. I lament over the unfairness of our world, and wonder how I could possibly change it.

 

The idealist in me cannot relent.

 

Is that why I feel the need to learn more, study harder, increase my education?  What is my purpose?  To what end am I struggling toward?  People scoff at the idea of a bleeding heart liberal. Is this a fair assessment of me?  

 

I want to believe that I will find myself as that woman.


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Comments

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I wish you luck on your journey to find yourself. I like the two visions of yourself. Just remember to have fun on your way as keeping up your spirit is most important. Every minute and emotion you have is important. Love comes in many forms. Thanks for this thoughtful post.
Thanks, Zanelle. I had been sitting there stuck in my own thoughts, past my normal bedtime, half assisting my daughter with her essay and half wishing for her to go to bed so I could. Sometimes the world seems closed to me, and at other times, I feel that there are too many choses for me to really decide. I think I was wistful for the latter, but fearful of being stuck in the former. Oh, and fun. . .that's what I always say. I choose activities because I think that they will be fun.
Thanks for commenting.
My best friend/sister told me once of the image that she had of her best future self inside her head. It all came true (except for the hair)

I bet she doesn't even remember the conversation, but when I look at her now, that is what I see.
Good luck I hope you manage to leap forward; and I'm guessing you will.
Julie, I love that. It's such a nice idea. . .that we can become who we. . well, who we are (even if we don't yet know who exactly that is). Thanks for sharing that with me.
Z. Thanks for the vote of confidence. I appreciate it.
Thanks for visiting.