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Life As I Know It

Shannon Moon

Shannon Moon
Ruraltopia, Pennsylvania, USA
December 31
I am a librarian, teacher, writer, philosopher, mother, daughter, granddaughter, perpetual student, recluse and lover of literature and music. What else is there? Really. I can be found here:


JUNE 1, 2012 12:45PM

I Need Help Making a Decision

Rate: 3 Flag

Universe (or anyone reading),

I have to make a decision today. I have to know the answer within the next 2 and 1/2 hours.

Option 1:

Take graduate class for summer session 2.

 Option 2: 


Option one will cost me $1,7000 (public university). It is the class that I REALLY WANT, more than any of the other 6 classes I have to take to complete my degree. I don't have $1,700 and I can't get a student loan for only one class (and there are no other classes that I can or need to take available this summer). The cost will max out a second credit card.

If I take the class, then it screws up my schedule for next year. I need 6 more classes, and I have to take 3 classes a semester to be full-time, which is required in order to be a GA. I have to be a GA in order to afford to take the other classes. The Dean I work for, if he decides to keep me on, wants someone for the whole year.

But it is the only class I am excited to take. It will not be offered again while I am at the university.

Option 2 allows me to go full time for 2 more semesters, all paid as a GA.

But if I did take it, maybe I could do an independent study in August (and complete my research proposal as a "thesis"--the university does not have a thesis option). The Dean is opposed to independent study because (he says) it costs him money. But if I talked him into it, maybe I could then spend next spring just working part time (like I am now) and doing an internship somewhere. Maybe I could find a job in the spring somewhere else (almost an 'anywhere but here' thing).


What do I do? 

I am at a loss. 

Mike at the coffee shop suggested that I flip a coin (I asked if it's heads I take it and tails I don't). But he said it was not to leave it up to chance, but to let my mind decide as the coin fell. 

The coin was heads.

And I thought. . .I want to take it.

But I still don't know what to do.

I kind of wish for a sign or someone to just tell me what to do.  

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Why don't you audit it? It is usually much less expensive or free, you don't get a grade so it won't mess up your schedule and it'll show up on your transcript. Then you get the best of both worlds.
Muse, I hadn't thought of that. It's a good idea--although, knowing the dean, he wouldn't like it because it'd cost him money (having to pay the prof. without getting anything in return). I'll have to think about it though. Thanks for the suggestion.
Wow I have I been in similar places...I too, missed your deadline, but I hope you re-read the part you wrote saying that "The Dean I work for, IF HE DECIDES TO KEEP ME ON" was the hint...There are no guarantees in life, and for certain do not put him in charge of your happiness...That's giving him too much power and underestimating what you do for him. Follow your heart. It's the only thing you are stuck with for life. As for the money thing...Audit would also be my suggestion. Or try a signature loan off your credit card...Sometimes that is workable with lower payments due although due immediately. But here's the monkey wrench: sure you can do what seems "right"... But if it is making you this miserable that you opted to ask strangers what to do, it is clear to me you know what path you feel inclined to follow...Trust that things will shake themselves out in the end. Yes, it is nerve-wracking. I have often had to choose between a "job" and school. Guess what? I'm still unemployed, but by God I am goal-driven. Sure things are falling apart around me...I have no more retirement, no more savings. But I will not turn loose of my heart's desire ever again. Take courage. Have faith. Grab your dream with BOTH hands and a death grip. It's yours to win or lose.
Shannon,all goes with Option 2 which allows you to go full time for 2 more semesters, all paid as a GA.I mean it is the same as ορtion 1 only in the longer tern.I think this is the most safe and cost-less choice for you!!Well,I know what I am saying,cause back in my studying years I had to face serious economical issues and believe me...these issues left me no room inside for reading..only for working!!Rated for the galloρ..Hoρe this is helρfull..Talk to the Dean for this issue..The advice of the elders is always needed!!!
Seer, KC, and Stathi and Muse. . .
Thanks for providing your input. I read it back a while ago but was too busy. . .taking the class. I maxed out a second credit card in order to pay for it. I think I will try to get a loan this fall to help me out (and still try to maintain my GA position--which will be difficult since 1. the university has no money and are cutting GAs, and 2. I likely won't be what he wants since I won't need to be full time next spring).
Honestly, the idea of taking a class in August, going full time only one more semester, and then one class next spring. . .that sounds much better. It lightens the weight on my shoulders in an unexpected way. If it means I don't get a GA position in the fall, I guess I can accept that. My kids will appreciate more time with me as well.
So yes, I took the class, and I got an A. I decided against taking a class during the 3rd session--I am too exhausted. It leaves 2 classes after this fall. And I have yet to email my dean to tell him what I did (therefore screwing up my GA position). It's not even fear that stops me. I just have found the time and energy at the same time.