I must tell you that it takes time to reform your mind. No matter how positive you think you are that little negative thought will pop into your head and if you aren’t careful it runs amuck through your brain trying to take over.

If you believe in something or someone you must give it your all.

Okay, let me say it like this: You’re married, your husband is a wonderful man, a good provider, he has a sense of humor and can talk to anyone, and he makes you feel like a real woman.

There are times that it just takes one comment to slap a negative thought into your head. (Your friend’s husband is cheating on her and to her all husbands are the same rotten scoundrels, and the more she talks the happier you are that you are married to the wonderful man you have.) Now, alone in your room, kitchen, bathroom etc you are thinking about your friend, you remember when you saw her husband looking at other women, really looking at them and you feel sad for her then here it comes… “What would I do if my husband found someone else? Am I slim enough? Do I take the extra effort with makeup? Is my cooking good enough? You look in the mirror searching for flaws. “I’d kill him!” you think angrily as your hand hits the counter. “If he ever cheats on me I’ll make him rue the day he was ever born.”

When you come to terms with the horrid thoughts that had just sprung into your mind your eyes begin fill with tears. No, he would never cheat on me, he loves me and I love him and I know I would never cheat on him. I know he loves me.

That’s the way a negative thought can simply rip your thoughts apart.

Your children are making good grades in school, they have good friends and they belong to girl scouts or boy scouts and you spend as much time with them as possible, you work so time is precious.

“I found a joint in my son’s closet, it was in a box in the back corner with his shoes and I was cleaning. I picked up the box and it slipped from my hand and it just fell to the floor. He’s on drugs. Does he snort coke too? My God, help me, what am I going to do now? I thought we were such a close, honest family, but this … what do I do?”

Negative thinking. You see, you found a joint, but has he ever smoked one? Look at it this way, someone gave it to him to try, that’s how they try to get you hooked…they give the first one to you. Is that what happened? Now you’re going from a negative thought to a thought with hope and positive thinking. If someone gave him the joint and he put it in the box that means he has not tried it so this is where you calmly confront him, explain how you accidently found it and see what he has to say. Hopefully he will remain calm and be honest with you.  

I’m a writer. I’ve placed a couple of my manuscripts on a free reading site and I’ve received good comments on the stories from ages 13 to somewhere in the mid 50’s. One woman wrote that my book was refreshing because it wasn’t all about sex and cussing, of course that made me feel good.  A young girl of 13 said she loved the book she read because she could relate to being overweight with everyone making fun of her, and that too made me feel very good.

I have tried for years to find an agent to represent me to no avail. No one wants to take on a new author. Of course that’s not really the truth, as new authors are published all the time.

I even had the perfect sales pitch ready for this agent. “New author unveiled. She’s been writing for over two and a half decades and has over 24 titles in her library. Her modern romance books fall into a wide variety of boy meets girl situations. Secretaries, housekeepers, wealthy women, truck driving women etc. You see women from all walks of life fall in love, or they’re used and abused and finally meet the right man who really loves them.

When I write I laugh, I cry, I sometimes scare myself a little, I become angry, very angry and then I feel the love and triumphant discovered in my character’s romance. I’m uncertain why it took me so long to discover writing, but now that I have I have spent the last 27 years writing for the love of … writing.

This is my point: knowing how much I love writing, and knowing that I can’t find an agent---yet---it is discouraging and it does bring on the negative thoughts. But of late, the last few months, I refuse to be sad, upset, angry or even in anguish over not being discovered. I may not write a novel of the year or win prizes for my books, but guess what, that’s all right. I’ve received joy in simply writing my books. If they’re never published or made into movies, yes, I have high expectations, my books are as good as or better than some of the stories I see on LMN or Lifetime and they’re equal Hallmark movies.

I won’t give up.

I believe that God is sending me an agent. This agent, well I’ve made up a story about this too, her daughter discovered my books and read them and talked her mother into reading them, she felt they were good, but needed a bit of polish. After all when a writer writes and read, re-reads, re-reads and self edits little mistakes slip by us, that’s what professional editors are paid for. But this agent goes through the internet where my books are and sends a message to me in which I phone her.

Pretty good.  J  So, it could happen that way … who’s to say. Meanwhile I keep writing. I am typing the first book I ever wrote to get it onto the computer at which time I’ll actually re-write it and smooth it out. It’s on nearly 520 pages of typing paper in a box. As I type and read I remember writing it. I wrote it initially in long hand at home, at work, driving, at the park or beach, I could not stop writing this story and it’s pretty darn good, but very rough, almost an outline.

Smile, I wrote it in 1986…26 years ago.

My God, how times flies…!!!??? I just really want to become published and see my dreams fulfilled before I depart this earth because no one will do anything with them once I’m gone. They’ll be thrown away. Maybe.

Ladies and gentlemen, no, I’m not having a pity party. I’m trying to throw out positive thoughts to everyone because if I can keep the faith and know something great is going to happen…then so can you.

I Believe my books will be found. I Believe I’ll get a fantastic agent. I Believe that my agent will sell them to a good publisher and then the movie rights will follow on a lot of my books.

 I BELIEVE ALL THIS TO BE TRUE. I KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN. And yes, I do keep the faith.

Have a great week and … think positive.