Let me just say -

Wow.

Let me correct that -

Wow. Wowfuckitywowwow. Wow.  That is one hell of a meal you got going on there.

You, sir, are a braver, if not a better man than I. First off, lunch at 7:30 in the morning is… Read full post »

I got thinking about Bill O'Reilly & Glenn Beck today.

I don't like doing that - thinking about those two. Breaking out into an icy-cold sweat is no way to start your morning. The only reason I thought of them is the fact that I saw they are going on… Read full post »

I got thinking about fortune cookies today.

When did they become so lame? In fact, when did they stop telling actual fortunes in favor of opinions? Today, after eating my bowl of seasame chicken, I cracked open my vanilla-flavored friend only to be greeted with the following:

"People re… Read full post »

Awhile back, someone asked The Future Mrs. Wonderhorse when we were getting married, since we've been engaged for coming up on two years now. The answer she gave is the one we've both been giving for awhile: I don't know, whenever we get around to it.

This person, knowing that… Read full post »

I got thinking about fast food today.

Jack in the Box, in particular.

You see, Jack in the Box recently expanded into Colorado, and now I'm starting to see their creepy little white clown head mascot pop up everywhere.

I refuse to eat at Jack in the Box… Read full post »

I have it. Something I've been hoping to avoid, but my defenses are down, and damned if it didn't sneak right in and knock me flat on my ass. No, it's not the Swine Flu. It's something worse.

The Block.

The Damned Block. I haven't posted anything for a few days,… Read full post »

I got thinking about gravy today.

We're getting to that time of year when gravy really shines. I tell you, mid-July, I damn near forget gravy even exists. But come late October, I know my gravy intake is getting close to doubling. I don't know what it is about the approaching… Read full post »

"You're going to what?"

"Tweet. Or twit. Or twitterize....whatever the hell they call it. I assume once you have finished, you can say you have tweeted or twitted. I'm guessing you don't say you have just twat."

"No, I don't think I could talk to you anymore if you said you just… Read full post »

I got thinking about elevators today.

I don't ride in elevators much anymore. I used to ride in elevators everyday. Now, not so much. Living in Chicago as I did for some 14 years, elevators were a way of life. Living in a much smaller Colorado town, well, elevator rides are… Read full post »

One day, Bryan Sterling Wellington went to the zoo....did I tell you his middle name was Chauncey? Isn't that kind of a crazy name: Bryan Chauncey Sterling Wellington? On the other hand, it is kind of cool. I kind of dig the name Chauncey. Of course, it reminds me of Peter… Read full post »

Hi. You probably don't remember me. I'm guessing you see a shitload of guys like me every day. No worries - I certainly don't blame you for that. Let's be honest, I'm not that memorable. Anyway, I came in a couple of days ago for that treadmill test thing. You asked… Read full post »

I got thinking about comments today.

You know, the comments you leave on posts that your fellow OS'ers write? I'm looking at "My Recent Comments" column, and I have to say, I'm fairly appalled:

****************************** 

"John Elway looks like a horse. C'mon, be honest - the resemblence is… Read full post »

I know you really want one. I know you think you deserve one. But as Clint Eastwood once said, deserve's got nothing to do with it. Suck it up, buttercup, the answer is no.

You can't have your own theme song.

I refuse to play one everytime you enter the… Read full post »

I got thinking about John Denver today.

I have to say it: I kind of like John Denver. The thing is, I don't think I'm alone in this. He's one of those guys that I believe a lot of people kind of like, just not when any of their friends are… Read full post »

I heard today that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber has composed a sequel to his mega-hit from the 80's, The Phantom of the Opera.

Love Never Dies is scheduled to premiere in London in March, 2010, then move to New York later next year. I've never seen Phantom, but I know the… Read full post »

Things have been, um....well...crazy seems to be the operative word around the Wonderhorse Love Emporium lately. We're still unpacking from our move a month and a half ago, we're both in rehearsals now, we have family planning on visiting us from out of state in a couple of weeks, and oh,… Read full post »

I really enjoy a good scare. I'm a big fan of horror movies. Anything that looks remotely scary is good enough to stop me from channel-surfing for at least a couple of minutes. I've noticed something lately, though. A rather disturbing trend for any horror-lover.

What's with all the pansy vampires?… Read full post »

Fine art and booze don't mix. Read full post »

Wow. I can't believe I actually saw that. In fact, I actually had to rewind just to make sure I was seeing it correctly. Yep, there it is. Can't deny it's existence. It's right there - captured for all time.

Nicolas Cage just punched a woman while dressed in a bear… Read full post »

Okay, I'm officially freaked out.

Last thing I remember was going to see the play last night, and now I wake up in a strange city, in a strange hotel room that smells of cigarettes and stale bourbon.  Oh, and clowns.

So many clowns.

There must be like 36-1/2 clowns… Read full post »

Stop staring at me like that.

I don't care if you think I'm crazy or not, but 40 is not too old to start a band. Sure, the odds may be against me achieving anything resembling success, but stranger things can happen. The inexplicable popularity of Nickleback, for instance. Besides,… Read full post »

I woke up this morning feeling a bit out of sorts. It made me concerned, in a way. I really have no reason to be out of sorts: a new house, the best mate in the Future Mrs. Wonderhorse, a job, excellent friends, and of course, Zack the Wonderdog. Then it hit me.… Read full post »

You're probably asking, Sheldon, how do you get such sporty-looking chickens? Simple: I paint them.

I don't see chickens as just egg-laying, food machines. I see them as walking, clucking, pooping works of art. So one day, I was looking at my chickens, and I thought, You know what ? That… Read full post »

Hey there, how's it going?

I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Sheldon the Wonderhorse. You can call me Shel. Or Sheldon. Or Wonderhorse. Whatever flips your switch.

Listen, I don't want to be rude or anything, but I'm just curious how you got there. I mean, at first… Read full post »

It's really out of control.

I mean, look at those things. They are getting enormous. Really, they've gone beyond sideburns. At this point, they're front and backburns. It's almost as if you started growing a beard, and gave up 1/3 of the way through. Frankly, it looks like you are smuggling Neil… Read full post »