I got thinking about guilty pleasures today.

I have 'em. So do you. I'm not necessarily proud of them (hence the guilty part), but like a mustard-snorting monkey, I just can't help myself. So, I give you, in no particular order, some of the things I am somewhat ashamed to admit I like:

1. Flo, the Progressive Insurance Chick

I can't explain it, but there is something very attractive by this cat-eyed, headband-wearing pitchwoman. I don't know if it's because she just might be crazy, or the sexy possibility that under all that white she might have black angel wings tattooed across her back, but there is something about Flo that makes me sit up and pay attention.

2. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves  

This is a horrible movie. Horrible on every level. There is not one frame that doesn't feel like it was crapped out of the giant Hollywood ass. Yet, when it comes on, I can't help watching, I love it. I love having a Robin Hood who sports a mullet and the worst British accent in film history. I love that we are asked to believe Kevin Costner & Christian Slater are long-lost brothers. I love that that horrible Bryan Adams song is all over this thing. Most of all, I love the fact that Alan Rickman knew he was in a piece of crap and said, "Fuck it" and went completely over the top.

3. Marilyn Manson

I'm a 40-year-old guy. There is really no reason at all for me to be listening to Marilyn Manson. I didn't like metal when I was in high school or college. In fact, I still think most metal sucks. Yet, I can admit to a certain fondness for His Scariness. I love the over-the-top theatricality about what he does, I love that he took a page out of the Alice Cooper playbook and out-Kissed Kiss, and I love that he pisses off the Christian Right.  Plus, I really kind of dig his music. Trust me, there is something oddly satisfying about running on the treadmill at the gym while listening to "The Beautiful People" (As a side note, I also love the fact that he's been cast in a "metaphysical spaghetti western" with Nick Nolte). Besides, I stand by my initial thought that Mechanical Animals is the best Ziggy Stardust album Bowie never made.

Chilli With a Peanut Butter Sandwich 

I blame the Iowa Public School System for this one. You see, when I was a kid, every other Wednesday was Chilli Day. Each bowl of chilli was accompanied by a peanut butter sandwich, and the love affair began. I know - it sounds disgusting. I can't argue. However, there is something about the combo I find oddly delicious. Perhaps it's the spicy & chunky combined with the salty & smooth. Every winter, I find myself enjoying this litte treat while the Future Mrs. Wonderhorse fights her gag reflex and looks at me as if I have just clubbed a baby seal.

Troll 2

Troll 2 simply must be seen to be believed. A film so hysterically awful, even the guys from Mystery Science 3000 would not be able to improve it. It looks like it was made for about $36, and to call the performances amateurish is an insult to amateurs (I've seen high school productions that were more convincing). Not to mention the fact that are no trolls anywhere in it. If you are going to call your film Troll 2, you should probably go ahead and throw a troll in there. Nope, just a punch of cheap puppets, cardboard sets, and the town of Nilbog (read it backwords to figure out what the town is secretly inhabited by). Troll 1 is bad, don't get me wrong (featuring a pre-Seinfeld Julia Louis Dreyfus), but Troll 2 is really something special. It is so awful, there is a documentary about it currently playing the festival circuit calledf Best Worst Movie. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Please, don't judge me too hard.