Sheldon The Wonderhorse

Eating Apples Since 1969

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OCTOBER 27, 2009 1:29PM

Tweeting Towards Oblivion

Rate: 23 Flag

"You're going to what?"

"Tweet. Or twit. Or twitterize....whatever the hell they call it. I assume once you have finished, you can say you have tweeted or twitted. I'm guessing you don't say you have just twat."

"No, I don't think I could talk to you anymore if you said you just twat."

"I really can't blame you there."

"Are you doing this? Or is Sheldon doing this?"

"Well, I'm doing it, but of course, I'll be doing it as Sheldon. It's just like the blog."

"Oh, I see. But it will be Sheldon, though."

"Yeah. It will be Sheldon's Twitters. Or tweets. I'm still not sure on the phraseology."

"Well, that's probably for the best."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, don't take this the wrong way, sport, but I'm pretty sure no one cares what you are doing. I don't care if it's only 140 letters or not."

"Wow. That's kind of harsh."

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just mean, you're not that exciting. Sheldon - well, Sheldon is exciting. Sheldon is fun. You...well....you're just you."

"I think I see what you mean. I'm guessing no one really cares if I hit every green light on the way to work."

"Exactly. Sheldon having a bowl of that chocolate-flavored Special K. That's worth a tweet. Or twit."

"Yeah. What's up with that Special K, anyway? I kind of like it, but that chocolate is just odd. "

"Really? I haven't tried it yet."

"It's not chocolate sprinkles. It's like SHARDS of chocolate. Only, it's not real chocoloate,  it's shards of fake chocolate, which makes some kind sense, I suppose. I mean, eating a bowlfull of chocolate shards is probably not that healthy."

"Probably not."


"I gotta think a bowlfull of chocolate shards is probably going to negate the K. Make it a little less special."

"I think eating a bowfull of any kind of shards is probably not that healthy."

"You may be on to something."

"So how many people are reading your twits?"

"Currently?"

"Yeah, currently."

"None."

"None?"

"Well, I just started."

"Still, it's just...Why are you following LL Cool J?"

"I'm not. He was kind of assigned to me when I signed up. He must be like that Tom guy when you sign up for My Space."

"Seriously, who's interested in what LL Cool J has to say?"

"Apparently, quite a few."

"Who are you following?"

"Stephen Colbert & The Squirrel."

"They're both funny. Much funnier than you."

"Please, tell me something I don't know.  You know who I would like to follow?

"Who?"

"Ton-Loc. I'd follow him."

"That would be cool. I'd be willing to hear what Ton-Loc has to say. More so than LL Cool J. Might be able to finally get the recipe for Funky Cold Medina."

"I know. That's what I'm after. My last two batches were neither funky nor cold."

"Tell me about it."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. I'm just saying."

"You are a hard person to figure out."

"That's what makes me me."

 

 

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Comments

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I'll have Mom follow you. At least you're not second hand twitting.
Hmmmm.....I can't even get my family to take an interest in what I have to say much less random strangers in cyberspace or twitter land or wherever the heck those tweets come from...

Loved the post - as per the usual.
You've captured my attitude about twitter. Funny piece. (Duh.)R
Sheldon,

whereas: "Tweet" is an arbitrarily assigned cognomen. . .and

whereas: On the Internets one is allowed to be arbitrary. . .and

whereas: I am on the Internets. . .and

whereas: You purport to be a horse. . .therefore

I hereby proclaim that anything that you post (less than 140 characters) be hereinafter, and for eternity, and for your heirs and assigns, be referred to as:

"Trots"

(which also is what you will get if you aren't more discriminating in re your shard intake)
If I start tweeting, I have vowed before the Altar of Sanity to smash off all my fingers with a hammer. Slowly. I wish you luck in your 140 character madness. As for me, I'm off to find a hammer.

Rated.
As long as you don't tweeter your thumbs.
I like it: it's got a Sheldon flavor, but it's in tequilaanddonuts packaging.
Don't go changin'. You gotta be you.
I'm so glad I'm not alone in the confusion of the chocolate chunks in Special K. What is that? It's like mini Halloween chocolate bars (but nasty) that sink to the bottom of the bowl. Maybe that's the idea. You don't actually eat the chocolate because it's out of reach for a perfect chocolate/flake ratio. Great! Now I think it's a conspiracy.

Oh, rated for Ton-Lociness.
I love Special K with chocolate! Okay...now to go find your twat profile.
if you manage to master the TWEET phenom, will that make you a tweeter twotter?
If I start twittering, I'll follow you, Sheldon.
So in the pluperfect sense it would be "A tweet told her that Sheldon had twatted." This is all so wrong.
I just saw MaryTKelly has become my first follower. Does that mean as a follower she has to do what I say? If so, Go kill a hobo.

Or bring me a turkey sandwich.
I'm following you closely.
I can't find you on Twitter!
Now I can't get Funky Cold Medina off my brain....thanks alot.
Is it hard to type 140 characters with hooves?
Colbert's got nothing on you. Twit away... or whatever...
If you're going to start sharding, go for some nail shards. Not fingernail shards (or hoof nail shards) but the real hammer and sickle, bash it into the wood nails. That way you'll get your iron and lots of fiber. Keeps you regular.

Good luck twittering. Like Andy, appendages will suffer if I ever start that. And I will never become a zombie follower. Hobos need friends too.
goddamn right i'm funnier than you! (and now, off to follow you.)
oh. wait. i followed you yesterday. well, there's ANOTHER thing accomplished.
There is something fundamentally wrong and unatural about shards of chocolate. Cocoa Pebbles are the only way to go. As for Twittering, as much as I like brevity, I can't sum things up in one or two sentences, and don't really like monologues. Feedback is important. A way to measure your sanity or lack thereof.