Sheldon The Wonderhorse

Eating Apples Since 1969
DECEMBER 3, 2009 1:02PM

Don't Look Back..Oh, Wait. Never Mind, Go Ahead, Look Back

Rate: 26 Flag

I got thinking about anniversaries today.

Mainly because, I'm somewhat celebrating one.  You see, it was a year ago today, that my car was rammed by this woman who, one, failed to apologize for said ramming, and two, failed to even ask if I was okay.  At the time, I was pretty pissed off. Pissed off enough to rant a bit. Not to her face, of course, I'm a big pussy that way. No, I put pen to paper, or in this case, fingers to keyboard and here we go: One year later, and I'm still dumbing down Open Salon. You're welcome.

Now, I'm not a fella who looks back a lot and gets all nostalgic-y, generally. Frankly, when I look back, all I see is a skinnier guy with hair, and to be honest, that's depressing as hell. So, I try to avoid that if at all possible. But, I'm willing to make an exception in this case.

Over the last year, I've written about douchebags, pimps, Shamwows, Mamie Eisenhower and the glory that is Bea Arthur. But for me, what really sticks out are the stories you've shared. Shaggy's Myra saga, Cartouche and her tres-cool life, FreakyTroll and her blatant self-promotion, tequilaanddonuts' awsome mom, Verbal and her spider, and pretty much everything The Squirrel touches. That's just to name a few. That's not even counting the glee I have when I see a new post by Blevins, Floyd, AnniThyme, Mary and O'Really. Even GWool, whom I have called on more than one occassion a cranky old coot, brings me a lot of joy. In fact, he seems like a pretty great fella who truly has a way with words. Especially considering he's a Republican.

That's just skimming the surface of all the great people I've read on here. Personally, I don't give a shite about Editors Picks and Most Reads and all that other crap people sometimes get hung up on here. I like stories. I like good stories, and you people have provided them in spades, so thanks for that. You've helped reignite the joy of writing just to write, and as a result, I've actually finished a script for a one-man-show kind of deal that is actually being considered for production (I considered calling it WONDERHORSE!, and have a lot of Bob Mackie costume changes, a'la Cher, circa 1975. I look stunning in Mackie), so thanks for that, too.

I'll be honest with you: I've thought about retiring Sheldon, and letting him run free among the fields. But, I'm not going to for one reason - I like the old fleabag. Every now and then, he makes me chuckle, not to mention the fact that The Future Mrs. Wonderhorse now refers to him as a separate entity - we were watching the news the other night and she said, "What will Sheldon have to say about that, I wonder?". That made me laugh.

So there you go - a semi-serious post (And people said it couldn't be done). Thanks for giving me 365 days of pleasure with your comments and stories.

Now, bring on the douchebags.


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Happy Anniversary, Shel!
Happy Anniversary!
Wait. Did you just call me a douchebag?
I got your douchebag right here buddy!
Yay! I'm glad you're here!
Happy anniversary, Sheldon, you wonderhorse, you!
On this auspicious occasion, Sheldon, let me be the first to quote those words of philosophical depth that, when contemplating the nature of reality, I often return to:

"A horse is a horse, of course, of course..."

Also, if this is your first anniversary, you have many years coming; horses can live to be 40. Assuming, of course, that you stay ahead of that guy from the glue factory.
Happy Anniversary, Sheldon and congrats on finishing the script. You're one of the very few for whom I'll stop what I'm doing in order to read your latest. As an aside, thanks for normally posting during my work hours. Being on salary, I get the double bonus of the boss paying me to read you. Let's keep that between us.
Please don't put the old nag out to pasture anytime soon. You bring too much fun to OS and to our reading lives in general! R.
Happy anniversary, Shedie!
Hey... I thought I had the franchise on dumbing down OS. Knuckle out of my territory, carrot breath. Don't you dare retire Sheldon. Or if you do... I will anticipate the arrival of Sheldon the WonderUnicorn.
so, what did sheldon have to say about that?

happy anniversary!
You are not allowed under any circumstances to retire Sheldon! I almost plotz with excitement every time I see the picture of the horse next to a new post.
No, thank you, Mr. Wonderhorse.
You. The Mackie. Something to hope for!

The stables would have a huge draft if there were no Wonderhorse here.

And BTW---Funny is hard. And you are funny. Don't go anywhere!
::puts away shotgun::

Whew. I would've done it, you know, but I'm glad Sheldon gets to stick around. Thanks for making me pee my pants on many occasions.
Many occasions? Apparently, that's the formal version of the peeing of the pants.
Happy Anniversary, Sheldon!!! And many more!!! And what about that "future Mrs. Wonderhorse?!?" Let's hear some more about her, young fella!!!
Happy Anniversary. I like your style.
Sheldon! Happy Anniversary. Keeping my fingers crossed for your production. I remember when you first started writing here and I've loved every post you've written. Love your wit, great sense of humor and mostly imagination. You have a ridiculously creative mine. I feel the say way when I see a new post from you! Glad you're sticking around as Sheldon. Your fiances question cracked me up.
Happiest anniversary to you!!!!!!! (I hope you are not now a pillar of salt.)
Congrats on the show!! And I know what you mean about reigniting the joy of writing. Same here.

Glad you're not trotting off to the glue factory just yet. I'd miss your pasture ponderings.
Two things. Don't retire Sheldon, please. My friends have started asking about you. Thanks for the mention and the very nice company. And never put me in the same paragraph with that old coot. Okay, that was three things, but who's counting?
You were my first love. (I mean that non-gayly.) If today someone asked me -- why visit OS? -- I'd answer in one word: Sheldon. I marvel at your prodigious talent and boundless wit. You're the best there is -- a true phenomenon. And that's no joke. Here's to another extraordinary year! (opens champagne). All the best,