How was your day?

Odd.

What do you mean?

I mean, odd. A guy at work gave me a potato.

A potato.

Yep.

Like a potato potato?

Yeah. A potato potato.

Like a baked potato?

No, like a raw potato.

He gave you a raw potato.

Yes, he gave me a raw potato.

Did he say why he was giving you a raw potato?

Nope. Walked into my cube, placed the potato on my desk, turned around and walked out without a word. Didn't see him for the rest of the day.

Is he known for giving out random vegetables?

Not that I'm aware of.

Huh.

I know, right? Say, this may sound like a dumb question, but is the potato really a vegetable?

You're kidding, right?

No, I'm serious. I mean, I know they tend to store them in the vegetable section at the grocery store, but it doesn't really seem to fit in with the other vegetables. It seems to be a bit of black sheep, vegetably speaking.

Well, this should be good. Please, enlighten me as to how the potato doesn't fit in with the other vegetables.

Simple. No juice.

I'm sorry?

No juice.

Juice?

Yeah, you can get juice out of pretty much every other vegetable. Carrots, beets, pepper. But not the potato. Have you ever heard of anyone craving a glass of potato juice?

Um...I guess not. Pepper juice?

Sure. Pepper juice.

Do you drink pepper juice?

Well, I don't, but that doesn't mean that you couldn't get juice out of a pepper. If you were so inclined.

I can't believe I let you impregnante me.

Although, I suppose technically, vodka is potato juice.

I have heard of people drinking that.

Your uncle Richard really likes vodka.

Yes he does.

Remember when he told that judge that he could kiss his hillbilly ass?

I thought we weren't going to talk about that anymore?

I bet he drank a lot of potato juice that day.

It's certainly possible.

I like potatos.

I know you do. You are Irish after all.

This is true.

So, he just gave you one potato?

Yep.

That is odd.

It was nice of him, though. I mean, seriously, when's the last time anyone gave you something out of the blue? Much less a potato?

I can honestly say, no one has ever given me a potato.

That's what I'm saying.

I see.

You know what would be a really good gift?

What?

Meat loaf.

Meat loaf?

Yeah. I mean, it's great to have the potato and all, but a meat loaf would have been better. At least a nice compliment.

You can't just have the potato?

I could, but I don't want to.

That's a little ungrateful, don't you think?

Now that I think about it, this gift potato is starting to be a pain in my ass.

How can this gift potato possibly be a pain in your ass?

Now I have to figure out what goes with the potato, how I'm going to prepare the potato. Fry it? Bake it? Boil it?

It must be very hard being you living in this world.

It is. It really is.