In the past few months of wedding planning, I've come across many a etiquette-centric quandary, and none so far-fetched as the formidable task of wedding-envelope addressing.  Don't get me wrong: I love a good tradition as much as any other bride-to-be out there, but when my fiancé and I recently started the task of addressing our wedding envolopes, we mutually decided that some traditions--etiquette-based and otherwise--have run their courses and need, respectfully, to be put to rest, even at the risk of rolling Emily Post over in her grave.

The following is one such tradition that I'm in favor of offing.  In addressing envolopes this morning, my fiancé and I had a wedding-envelope-addressing conundrum: one of his aunts is a doctor and her husband isn't.  I assumed that, according to what I thought was the proper etiquette, her name would automatically go first, followed by his name, since she held the title of "Doctor".  A quick trip to the website of Crane and Co. -- the Cadillac of stationary -- almost sent me to my grave.  Carefully read the following envelope-addressing rules, taken directly from Crane and Co.'s website:

In Which Man Is a Doctor   

Doctor and Mrs. Troy Clayton    

In Which Both Are Doctors

Doctor and Mrs. Troy Claytonor                                                                            

or                                                                         

The Doctors Claytonor, or

Doctor Christine Clayton
and Doctor Troy Clayton    

In Which Woman Is a Doctor 

Mr. and Mrs. Troy Clayton

or

Doctor Christine Clayton
and Mr. Troy Clayton

Source: http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Addressing_Envelopes&I=Married_Couples
   

I'm no bra-burning feminist, but I am a feminist in the Merriam-Webster-definition sense of being someone whose beliefs support the "theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes."  And if etiquette isn't a social phenomenon, I don't know what is.  In fact, Crane and Co. has an "essence of etiquette" explanation on its website, with the following indroductory words:

"Etiquette can be defined as the body of rules of social conduct that tells us what our society considers appropriate and acceptable behavior...The etiquette that we follow when sending a letter or invitation, like etiquette in other areas, revolves around three basic building blocks: Common sense, courtesy, and usage.  Etiquette's foundation is common sense."

Source: http://www.crane.com/etiquette.aspx?C=StationeryEtiquette&S=The+Essence+of+Etiquette

Why, if the husband is a doctor and the wife is not, the only etiquette-based adressing choice is  "Doctor and Mrs. [man's first name] [man's last name]," whereas if the woman is a doctor (or a judge, for that matter) and her husband is not, etiquette says that you may still choose to address the envelope, "Mr. and Mrs. [man's first name][man's last name]," not indicating the woman's hard-earned doctor status at all?  Where's the common sense in this (among other equally confusing etiquette-dictated addressing rules)?

Perhaps I'm overreacting a bit or my current flu-like state has pushed me over the top, but in any case, after my near heart attack, I proudly listed my fiancé's aunt's "Doctor" status and name first, followed by her husband's name.  Maybe one day my idealism will fade or die or get squished by a 16-wheeler-sized dose of reality, but until then, I'm going to live in a world where female doctors will be addressed as such when invited to weddings.  And my sincerest apologies to Emily Post...make that Mrs. Edwin Post...I mean Mrs. Emily Price Post.  Oh, I give up.