Joel McHale! David Tennant! John Simm!

You TOTALLY blew it! What were you thinking with that list!

OK, I contributed to the list (my submissions will remain a secret) but I dearly hope other people on Open will write up their own choices. The only thing more interesting than our own libidinal interests are those of others.

1. Manny Pacquaio, boxer. Fast, tough, resilient and pound-for-pound one of the greatest fighters ever. Also, a sportsman and a gentleman, as he demonstrated against Antonio Margarito on Saturday. Pacquaio had reduced Margarito to a staggering mess. Pacquaio appealed unsuccessfully to the referee to stop the fight. So Pacquaio carried Margarito for the last three rounds, ensuring his opponent did not suffer any further injuries. Wow.

2. Bill Clinton, philanthropist & former president. Who's the most popular "political" figure in America? Who would Americans happily vote for again, if they could? Who, at a relatively advanced age (post- heart surgery) still electrifies every place he visits? Who still wears his seducer's persona as perfectly as a bespoke suit?

The man is a machine, a phenomenon, and as relevant as ever.

Neil Gaiman would have been my first pick :)

Chaz Bono. At least he started out well. (plus he has a hot looking girlfriend).

P.S. OS Culture Editor??? Seriously????

~SNORT ~

You blew it when you came up with the title.

Nice hat.

@ Leepin Larry: Psssst.... I'm not sure that's a hat!

I had a throat culture once, for strep.

I got culture once. Painful. Fur fell off my tail, my eyes turned green, then red, and...no wait, that wasn't culture, that was my night with a hooker and a lot of vodka.

Sorry, wrong story.

Uh, men on Top? Conan O'Brian. Clark Gable. What do you mean, he's dead? I seen him last night.

What?

Damn.

**wanders off**

John Conlee

From here I went to "Salon" and checked out their picks.
It proves my point that women should pick women for guys, and vice versa.
They have bimbo-dar, and men have scuzzoid-dar.
(Skin crawling. I slink off to the bar!)

And why are you wearing Tink's dead grandfather?

(on your head that is)

:( Fred, my grandfather committed suicide and then, well, the hat maker found him on the side of the road and well, you know the rest of the story.

It still makes me cry every time I think of him. ~CRYING~

**Runs back into the thorn bushes** Grandma has some ear muffs made from him as well.

Pssssst. Sarah wasn't suppose to find out that the hat was made from my dead grandpa!!!

Pass it on.

**Wanders deeper into the thorn bushes**

Pssssst, TINK... over here...

I bet she got that hat from Joan. You know what happened last time you made fun of one of Joan's hats!

P.S. Do you think she got those sunglasses from Mary Lin???

There were some really helpful comments here, guys! There were other comments as well! Our slide show of the best alternate picks goes up Saturday afternoon on Salon. Thanks!

Sarah, now don't listen to those mean comments about your hat.

I think it makes you look like a rather buxom lady Cossack. And, if you don't mind my saying so, I find that oddly attractive. ;)

Ernest Borgnine, obviously. Or how about Leslie Nielson getting a poshumous award?

Geez Emily. Is that your beaver? I mean, uhhh, is that ... mmm, what IS that?

OH!! no WONDER. You're Sarah, not Emily. Well, clearly it's YOUR beaver, not hers. Thank goodness.

I'd like to nominate this one writer...who's currently unknown. But maybe a in a few months... We'll see? :-)