Bye-bye, Miss American Pie,

Drove the Chevy to the levy

But the levy was dry....

        With the Fourth of July straight ahead, I refer of course, to that ineffable American culinary institution, Mom’s Apple Pie.  In my case, this literally is my mother Constance Crawford’s recipe from her cookbook, The Muse of Menus, to give credit where it is very much due. I may be liberal politically, but my taste buds are rock-ribbed little conservatives, especially when it comes to apple pie. This is the apple pie of my childhood, and this is how I feel apple pie should always taste.  I’ve never come across a satisfactory alternative version of it in any restaurant or bakery. No tough, heavy or biscuity crust, and no insipid, over-sweetened filling and certainly nothing that comes frozen in a cardboard box can substitute for the genuine article. Streusel topping? Please! What a cop-out.   Okay, I know, some people like it. And maybe you have a streusel-topped apple pie in your recipe file right now and you are pawing up the turf, ready for Battle Apple Pie. All I can say is, O baker, choose your battles wisely.  This pie is a flaky home made crust envelope enclosing a sweet-tart fruit filing and it is the real deal. Thomas Jefferson would say so, too: 

            The Puritan Work Ethic is part of the American psyche, which means you are going to have to work for this pie by making the crust from scratch, yourself. Put that pre-fab gob of frozen pie crust back in your grocer’s freezer immediately, please. It just won’t do this time. There’s no doubt about it, making pie crust requires the three P’s: practice, patience and persistence.   Your twenty-fifth batch of pie crust will be better than your first or your tenth. The ingredients are simple but the method and the cook’s skill really matter. Less is more, and when in doubt, chill the dough. Don’t be discouraged if your first attempt isn’t very good, and let me assure you I’m still struggling with pie crust. Over time, my success to failure ratio has improved, but every pie crust is a culinary adventure with no guarantee of success. It's a minor variety of the courage that sent pioneers West, not knowing what they faced. So when I make a good pie crust, I have a definite sense of accomplishment. The crust of this pie  is more about structure and texture than it is about contributing flavor in its own right.

A flour sifter

1 small and 1 large mixing bowl

Measuring spoons and cups

A pastry blender

A table fork

A rolling pin 

A pastry board

A spatula.

And later, A 9 inch pie pan.

 The Equipment You Need

A note about the pastry blender: You can use two table knives to blend the shortening and flour,  but the pastry blender is much more efficient, as the curved blades fit the bottom and sides of the mixing bowl. Don’t buy a pastry blender with just bent wires for blades, you need something sturdier, like this one with blades like curved fork tines. It really is the right tool for the job.

  The Pastry Blender

And the following ingredients:

2 ½ cups  all purpose flour

1 tsp salt

A total of 12 TBs of shortening (I use Crisco. Write the date of purchase on the lid when you purchase a new can so you know how long it’s been in there.)

4-6 TBs ice water

Fill the small mixing bowl with cold tap water and stick in in the freezer to get it really cold.

   Sift the flour and salt together into the large mixing bowl

2.                              Measure the first six TB’s  of shortening into the flour mixture. (Pay attention here, it’s surprisingly easy to lose count.) Put the shortening back in the fridge while you work to keep the shortening as cold as possible.

3.                              Use the pastry blender in a rolling motion with quick, light strokes changing the angle with each pass to cut the shortening gobs into the flour until the mixture is even and pretty fine, without any unmixed dry flour, or large gobs of shortening visible when you’re done.  Scrape the pastry blender along the sides and bottom of the bowl often while you do this to make sure everything gets incorporated. It should look like this when you’ve finished the first phase:

4.                              Add the second six TBs of the shortening and cut them in, but stop when the particles are the size of peas, like this:

5.                              Remove the small bowl from the freezer and sprinkle 4 Tbs of water all over the mix to moisten it while gathering the dough together with the table fork as you sprinkle. Use the smaller amount of water first.  This is when and where a light touch really matters. You want to add just enough water to make the dough stick together in a ball.  The less you handle the dough the more tender and flaky the finished crust will be. If your dough is still too dry after 4 TBs, add another 2 TB of water. Here’s a neat trick; if, after you’ve added up to 6 Tbs of water, the dough is still too dry and floury, use a TB or 2 of vodka to moisten it enough to get the dough to a more cooperative consistency.  Vodka will burn off in the baking, and it won’t activate the gluten in the flour whereas adding more water would. After you've added your water or vodka,  it's time to use both hands to coax that dough into a ball. Keep your fingers bunched together and slightly cupped as you work quickly, patting stray clumps into the cohesive whole. When you’re done, you should be able to make a ball of dough looking like this: 

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6.                            

              Wrap the dough in waxed paper and chill in the refrigerator for at least half an hour. It will make it much easier to roll out.  You can also store the dough in the refrigerator overnight and do your baking the next day.

While your dough is chilling, start to work on your filling.  Pre-heat oven to 450 F (I always seem to get a yen to bake an apple pie during heat waves. Ain't we got fun!)

1 apple corer

2 mixing bowls, 1 large for the apples and 1 small for the sugar mixture.

1 grater

1 juicer

Measuring spoons and cups

5-6 apples. I use Granny Smiths and they’ve never let me down but any tart, firm green apple will work.  If you choose a smaller variety, you might need as many as seven or eight apples. Avoid using red apples—they won’t hold their shape when baked, and are too sweet for this recipe.

1 cup lightly packed light brown sugar (if your apples are VERY sour, nudge up the sugar content a little or to taste.)

¼ tsp nutmeg

½ tsp cinnamon (I use “heaping” measures in both cases.)

¼ tsp salt

Grated rind from 1 lemon

Juice of 1 lemon.

Core, peel and cut up your apples.  My mother advises cutting each into eighths, I slice them thin—it’s your call. Apples cut into eighths make a nice, bumpy, chunky pie, thin slices look smoother under the top crust and bake a little faster. But it makes no difference to the flavor.  Store the cut apples in a mixing bowl, and toss them in some lemon juice to keep them from browning. Reserve some lemon juice for the sugar mixture.

            Mix the sugar, salt, spices and lemon peel and 2 Tbs lemon juice in a small mixing bowl. I use lots of lemon juice, so my mixture always looks rather sludgy.  It should at least look moist and crumbly.

Rolling out the pie crust:

You are now ready to roll out your pie crust and assemble the pie. I am not, and never have been a neat cook—just ask my mother.  When I’m done with a baking project, my kitchen counter and the floor underneath looks a floury mess. But I have discovered a neat trick that makes cleanup much easier. Clear enough space on your kitchen counter for your pastry board, and lay down a sheet of newspaper, first. Roll or fold the newspaper up along the back edge to make a barrier to contain stray flour, like this:

  Then set down your pastry board on top.  When your pie’s in the oven at last, you just scrape the mess of flour and dough scraps off your pastry board onto the newspaper, roll it all up in a bundle and toss it out. Being me, I still have to wipe down my counters and sweep the floor afterward, but the newspaper trick really shortens the cleanup time.

            Keep your flour container close at hand as you roll out the crust.  Flour your board and rolling pin well, leaving a little pile of extra flour in one corner to spread around in case the dough is sticky.  Cut the ball of pie crust dough into slightly unequal halves like this:

Ready to Roll!

 and put the smaller half back in the fridge to keep it cool—that will be your top crust. Whack the  ball of dough a few times with the rolling pin.  Roll out the dough  until it is large and thin enough to cover the pie plate, but the less you handle it  the better.  Add more flour if it sticks.

            Transfer dough from board to pan by rolling the near edge up and around the rolling pin like this:

Continue to gently roll and lift simultaneously with your dominant  hand while scraping the dough free of the board with the spatula in your free hand. Don’t panic if the dough, tears or is not a perfect fit for the pan. Once it’s in position, you can patch it with scraps. Arrange dough to cover bottom and sides of the pie pan, and trim anything that’s hanging over the edge.

   And here is my crust: looks a bit like the aftermath of a natural disaster, or perhaps the Olduvai Gorge, doesn’t it? Ah, well, this is Pacific Rim pie—a few earthquake fault-like cracks are perfectly fitting! 

            But pie crust is very patchable, and the lower crust is going to be hidden by the pie filling, anyway. Just get yourself a little bowl of water and cut some patches out of the trimmed pie crust. Moisten the patches with water along the edge with your finger and press them into place. The crust should extend to the outer rim of your pie pan when you’re done, like this:

 All Better After Patching

  (Looks a lot better now, doesn’t it?)

            Line the bottom of the crust with about ½ of your sliced apples, spreading them out in a roughly even layer. Sprinkle on half the brown sugar mixture, and dot with 1 TB of the butter.  You can also add another squeeze of lemon juice at this point—it makes a delicious juicy pie.  Repeat with the rest of the apples, sugar and butter.

            Now roll out the top crust and lay it over the apples.  Crimp  the  upper and lower crust edges together with  your index and middle fingers above, and your thumb below, making a nice fluted edge. Or just a fluted edge, as mine never look very tidy. As long as the edges are sealed, you’re fine. Cut a few vents in the top crust.

  You can also decorate  it with shapes cut out of the dough scraps, or some coarse grain sugar. Brush the top crust with a little beaten egg white or milk if you want for an extra shine. Then pop it in the hot oven. It helps with oven mess if you set your pie plate on a cookie sheet while baking to catch any dripping juices.  Bake the pie for 15 minutes at the high temperature. This will brown the top crust, and get the bottom crust cooking so it won’t be soggy. Then turn the heat down to 350 F and bake for another 20 – 30 minutes.

            It’s too bad the limitations of photography can’t allow you to know how good this pie smells hot from the oven! 

  This pie can be eaten warm or cold.  It’s delicious all by itself, but if you want to raise your sin index, it’s even better served warm with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. A cup of tea or coffee is great along side as is a glass of cold milk.  If you want more than pie, but try to avoid large gobs of rich dairy products, drop a little blob of Mascarpone cheese on a hot pie slice and let it melt. The mellowness of the Mascarpone and the tartness of the apples are wonderful together.

            This apple pie is something you can be proud to serve to visiting Presidents, princes, critical in-laws and new arrivals from other lands. Or even from other planets. It’s enough to make you whistle John Philip Sousa marches.  If Lemon Curd is seduction in a jam jar, then this pie is patriotism on a dessert plate.

            Oh, I almost forgot—here’s your piece. Enjoy!

Just around the corner

There's a Rainbow in the Sky,

So let's have another cup of coffee,

Let's have another piece of pie!