Out of My Mind

The Musings of a Woman Who Thinks Too Much

Nelle Engoron

Nelle Engoron
May 01
You can email me at "nengoron@gmaildotcom" & follow @NelleEngoron on Twitter. My archived radio shows on last season's Mad Men are available (for free!) at: www.blogtalkradio.com/madmentalk **My "Mad Men" commentary for Season 5 is on Salon rather than here -- go to http://www.salon.com/writer/ nelle_engoron/ to find all my Salon articles. **My book, "Mad Men Unmasked: Decoding Season 4," is available on Amazon in both e-book and print versions.** I'm a writer/editor/consultant who lives in the SF Bay Area. I write about all kinds of things, but am particularly intrigued by movies, relationships, gender issues, belief systems and "Mad Men." (Scroll down left sidebar for links to a selection of my blog posts.) I'm working on a novel and a memoir, neither of which is about Mad Men!

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Editor’s Pick
JULY 30, 2009 2:58PM

Porn for Women: Sex with Context (15 examples)

Rate: 82 Flag

The pornographic movie industry, in response to the Internet, is focusing even less on narrative arcs these days. Savanna Samson, an actress, says she favors scripts with more dialogue. […] “Getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn’t as much fun,” she added.  (NY Times, 7/8/2009)

A recent New York Times article describes the way the internet is changing porn, which (as it wryly notes) “has long had only a casual interest in plot and dialogue.”  That interest has grown so casual as to be disappearing entirely, leaving actresses like Ms. Samson longing for the days of “character development,” when she used to “prepare studiously” for roles such as that of a psychotic exhibitionist in the 2006 film “Flasher”.  Now that most porn is consumed online, short scenes consisting almost entirely of just sex are becoming the norm.  

“On the Internet, the average attention span is three to five minutes,” said Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment. “We have to cater to that.”
(NYT article)

Which leaves the unspoken question:  Whose attention span are we talking about?

Like white male Senators who assume that they operate in objective neutral reality while women and minorities have biases that affect and distort their judgment and actions, many in the porn industry continue to assume that the human sex drive comes in just one flavor:  Male (either straight or gay).

It’s not just porn films that are so myopic.  Hollywood executives who have the power to greenlight movies are still mostly men who choose projects that either appeal to them or to the fifteen year old boy they remember being (and may still be, inside).  They argue that women, especially middle-aged women, don’t go to movies, after all, so why spend money making films for them?  

Of course, this reveals a simple and obvious gap in logic, which is that a lot of women don’t enjoy movies that solely cater to the tastes to boys or men.  They will, however, go to movies that appeal to them, such as “Sex and the City,” “First Wives Club,” “Mamma Mia,” “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” and “The Devil Wears Prada,” just as they did from the 1920’s to the early 1960’s, when “women’s pictures” were a solid Hollywood category akin to action films today.

Yet execs these days treat each “chick flick” that makes piles of money as a fluke, rather than the sign of a market starved for entertainment that appeals to them, and settling for the most mindless mainstream version of it (see above list).

When it comes to sex, women are even more neglected.  While there are certainly lots of women who like porn, and even women who make porn (some even oriented to female tastes), the majority of women want something porn doesn’t offer:  Sex with context.  

Women like a story.  They like characters.  They want a female character they can relate to and a male character they can desire (and not just for his hot body).  They want the characters to interact, with some semblance of real feelings – and this means women often require a higher level of acting skill in their erotic entertainment.  They need professionals who may or may not know how to fake an orgasm (hello Meg Ryan) but who can definitely fake falling in love with their co-star even if they secretly hate them.

Men assume women find porn distasteful or objectifying, and often that’s true.  But many women simply find porn laughable, so ridiculous and stilted that they can’t take it seriously enough to get turned on.  And even when it’s done with a bit more skill, porn still generally shows sex from the male point of view, in ways both obvious and subtle. 

I once joked to a male friend that real porn for women would show a man cleaning a woman’s house and then going down on her for an hour.  The guy visibly blanched and said, “I would have absolutely no desire to watch that!”  Uh, right.  Just as we have no desire to watch a woman with beachballs on her chest fake ecstasy at being penetrated without any semblance of an attempt to arouse or give her pleasure.

As the lovely Ms. Samson said so well, getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn't as much fun for women -- either in real life or on screen.

This neglect of the female libido leaves women in the position that gays have faced for most of cinematic history, as they avidly searched mainstream movies for small nods to their own desires, repeatedly viewing some movies just to see short scenes that spoke to them – often in part because gay artists in Hollywood were sneaking in their own sexuality in code.  (If you want to have your whole experience of pre-1970's movies turned inside out by having the gay subtext illuminated, rent the fascinating documentary, “The Celluloid Closet,” by Vito Russo.  It’s arguable that gay male artists have actually held more sway in Hollywood so far than women have and that, coded or not, their desires have found their way onscreen more often.)

Ironically, for people who want sex in the context of a story, women still often have to get their thrills in short interactions in movies, many of which fulfill the romance half of the female desire equation while still giving short shrift to female sexuality, to what turns women on below the belt.  

While we may now have more male beauty to gaze upon in movies than ever before, with many straight male stars buffed to a Chippendale’s sheen (hello Hugh Jackman), for most women, the sight of a handsome and muscled guy is fun but not enough.  

We need to see him interact and seduce a woman, and not in a cheesy way, but with real warmth (and if we’re lucky, humor).  The visual isn’t primary for us, after all.  Most women need to be physically touched to get turned on, and the cinematic equivalent of physical touch is a felt interaction, not just the sight of a sexy body.

What follows, therefore, isn’t a list of sexiest men, but more of a “contextiest” list:  15 moments in films that have turned me and a lot of other women on, as a peek into the female libido.  

This list isn’t by any means comprehensive (even for me!), so I invite other women to share their own favorites in Comments.

(I've numbered these simply to make it easy for people to refer to them in Comments - the ordering is fairly arbitrary.  Because that’s the way we remember them, I’m using actor rather than character names for almost all.)


Brad Pitt abs


A criminally seductive Brad Pitt teaching Geena Davis about armed robbery and orgasms in Thelma & Louise.  Sporting a stunning six-pack of abs (before anyone knew what that was), Pitt shot to stardom after his devilishly sexy performance in this uber-chick flick.  Yes, he’s a bad boy, through and through, but his tender and realistic seduction of Thelma in a cheap motel room made women swoon.  Notice how the camera lingers on his beautiful face and sculpted body rather than focusing on hers, as almost all movies do.  Although directed by a man, T&L was written by a woman, and that sensibility shows throughout, especially in this scene, which actually represents the all-too-rare-in-cinema female gaze of desire towards a man.



Last of the Mohicans


“I’m looking at you, Miss.”  The whole of The Last of the Mohicans is a squidge-a-thon for most straight women, what with Daniel Day Lewis running around in buckskins with his long hair flying, heroically saving people left and right.  But many women find his smoldering look and response to the woman he’s staring at to be the single most sizzling moment in the film.  Being intensely desired and letting the sexual tension build makes the eventual consummation that much hotter.  (Trust me – it does.)  Guys, if you want to get your woman in the mood, rent this movie – and you’ll like it, too, since it’s got plenty of action.


A teenage Laura Dern getting her hair, neck, back and shoulders sensually caressed while making out with a young guy she just met in Smooth Talk. As Pauline Kael wrote in her review of the movie, Has any young man ever been better at foreplay?  If you want to get a sense of how important touch is to a woman, watch this scene.  Trivia:  The director, Joyce Chopra, choreographed the scene after asking female members of the crew what turned them on the most.  (Want to know what turns a woman on?  Ask her!)


Robert Redford and Meryl Streep consummating their love in Out of Africa while out on safari.  The sexual tension that has been building up through lion shootings and hair washings culminates in a love scene that is surprisingly real-feeling for a romantic epic. After she silently touches his hand to tell him what she wants, he follows her into her tent, sees her undressing and says softly, “I’d like to do that,” and then asks if her lip (bitten when she shot a lioness) will hurt before he kisses her. I don’t even like Redford or find him attractive, but the tenderness of this scene melts me every time.



Against All Odds


The equally gorgeous Jeff Bridges and Rachel Ward making sweaty muscle-y desperate forbidden love in the ruins of Chichén Itzá, in Against All Odds. In this remake of an old film noir (Out of the Past), Ward plays a classic femme fatale with a ferocious and unapologetic sexuality, while Bridges has never been sexier, portraying a bearded and rather befuddled football player, being played from each end, both of them tight.



Jimmy Stewart realizing he’s desperately, passionately in love with Donna Reed in It’s a Wonderful Life when they share a phone receiver.  The wordless expressions of love and lust on their faces say more than the dialogue in a thousand other love scenes.  If you never thought of Stewart as a sexual being, think again.  When he realizes that he wants this woman so much he’s going to give up all his dreams just to be with her, the effect is heartbreaking and erotic as hell.  Every woman wants a man to feel that way about her.



Witness kiss


The desperate long-delayed kiss out in the field by the birdhouse gets all the praise, but for my money, there are two moments even more erotic in Witness:  the sweaty forbidden dance in the barn, which is half innocent, half lustful, and the scene in which Harrison Ford sees Kelly McGillis bathing in her room and she turns to reveal herself fully to him.  Ford has never been a better actor than in the moment when he takes her in, silently showing us that he is seeing not just her body, but her whole self, her soul – the essence of what every woman wants in a man’s desire.



Keitel the Piano


Harvey Keitel crawling under the piano to put a finger in a hole in Holly Hunter’s stocking in The Piano, as well as the scene in which he appears full frontal before they make love.  Keitel reached his, um, peak with this role in several ways, becoming a belated sex symbol at the age of 54.  Three anecdotes about the power of Keitel in this movie:  1) On Actor’s Studio, when asked about the awkwardness of filming the sex scene, Holly Hunter said with relish, “Oh no, I loved getting in that big bed with Harvey!”  2) A New Yorker magazine cartoon at the time showed a trendy couple entering a party with the woman saying to her husband, “If Harvey Keitel’s there, you’re on your own.”  3) My therapist, who was always consummately professional and non-self-disclosing, upon being told that I’d had a Piano-esque dream in which Harvey Keitel was her lover, raised her eyebrows, smiled and said, “Mmmm!” in a very satisfied fashion.



Bull Durham Kitchen scene


Kevin Costner and Susan Sarandon going at it in the bathtub in Bull Durham, splashing water and dousing the candles even as their own fire heats up.  Tied with the scene in which they go for seconds or thirds or fourths on the kitchen table, after he knocks everything off it. Tied with the scene when she tells him, “I want you” while he irons a shirt half-dressed while drinking Scotch (an image that perfectly blends both male and female roles).  Like Last of the Mohicans, this is the rare romantic movie that appeals equally to men and women, because it gives equal weight to the desires of both, as Sarandon openly admires Costner’s beauty and asks for what she wants.



Paul Newman snuggled up in bed with Melinda Dillon in Slapshot. Newman was one of the great sex symbols of movies, and yet he’s strangely unsexy in most of his films – too remote and cool, perhaps in part due to the restrictions in both style and content in American films during his early career.  But in Slapshot, one of his own favorite films, he has a lovely scene in which he talks about understanding why a woman might decide to have sex with another woman, because after all, women are so much softer and more appealing than men, all the while snuggling up with his head on Dillon’s chest, as much like a child as a lover.  Every woman has had an endearing moment like this with a man, yet they’re rarely depicted on screen, because they reveal men’s secret vulnerability.



A quickie:  Jeremy Irons pulling a fully-clothed Patricia Hodge down the bed to make love one afternoon in their charmingly tiny London love nest in Betrayal.  Irons was called a “thinking woman’s sex symbol” in his prime and this mannered but mesmerizing 1983 movie shows why. Adapted by Harold Pinter from his own play, it tells the tale of an affair a man has with the wife of his best friend (a rather terrifying Ben Kingsley) -- with the twist that it’s told backwards, starting with a meeting in a pub long after the affair is over and culminating with the moment it started, a shattering scene that reveals that beginnings can also be climaxes, when you know what they will set in motion.





Rhett carrying Scarlett up the stairs in Gone With the Wind.  Although they’ve been married for some time, by this point (3+ hours into the movie), we’re dying for Rhett and Scarlett to have a real consummation scene, in which she faces the fact that she loves and desires him, not that simp Ashley.  The result is the all-time champ in the “all women love semi-rape” school of titillation.



Billy Dee Williams


The camera sweeping down to show Billy Dee Williams seeing Diana Ross for the first time in Lady Sings the Blues, stunned by her beauty in a butter-yellow silk dress and hat.  It’s a complete steal (albeit in reversed direction) from the famous shot in GWTW when Rhett Butler first sees Scarlett, but it still works, because Williams was at the time one of the sexiest men alive, his silken voice and sharp appearance catnip for women of any race. (Everyone thought he’d have the career that Denzel Washington ended up having, but roles for African-American leading men were even scarcer then.)  The swooping camera in both films is a stand-in for the inner swooning feeling women get when the right man looks at them with frank desire (as Scarlett said of Rhett at that moment, “He’s looking at me like he knows what I look like in my shimmy (underwear)!”)



Ethan Hawke’s face and voice at the end of Before Sunset when he says the simple phrase, “Oh yeah.”  Hawke becomes increasingly naked, not physically but emotionally, in each scene of this movie, as he reveals that he’s been nursing a love for Julie Delpy’s character for the entire 10 years since they had one night together.  Earlier in the film he has shown us his soul as he speaks with aching vulnerability about his dead marriage and feeling like he’ll fly apart if anyone actually touches him again.  But by this final scene, he’s a man looking forward to being shattered by love once again.  (To see how this love story began, watch the first chapter, Before Sunrise, one of the best love stories ever made, in which two people fall in love not in the ridiculous way they usually do in movies (by crashing into each other’s cars, etc) but the way they do in real life, by talking and learning about each other with increasing fascination.)



out of sight


In a masterfully constructed scene, Clooney and Lopez’s yearning but realistic conversation about their hopeless cop-meets-criminal romance is intercut with the consummation of their desire, all to the background of silently falling snow and a perfectly evocative musical score.  The fully-clothed conversation that serves as foreplay is sexier than the sex.  Out of Sight, indeed.


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Wow, I loved this post and I am a male. This part made me howl: that real porn for women would show a man cleaning a woman’s house and then going down on her for an hour. Loved Bull Durham and Crash's speech about what he believed. Lady Sings the Blues--what a love story that was. This was fun and entertaining.
Great take on the subject!
These are all great examples of hot sex on film that was done well. Might I add two of my own favorites?

The scene in the Thorn Birds when Father Ralph shows up on the beach and he and Meggie (Rachel Ward again) finally consummate their forbidden love.

There are two scenes in the English Patient when Ralph Fiennes character, Count Andraje and Katherine are lying together in a bath tub and he is caressing her neck. He is madly in love with her and as they touch each other he proclaims the vee at the base of her throat as his favorite part of her.

The second scene was the crazy, mad, public sex with her at an expat Christmas holiday afternoon thing. Serious unbridled passionate lust as hot as the Cairo desert it took place in.
Bumping. And grinding. And thumbing. And other things as well. You've nailed it. (Pardon all puns.)
I guess I'm missing out; I have not seen any but two of those movies. But I do adore The Last of the Mohicans and Gone With the Wind. Another addition is the recent The Duchess; I love period films, and this one had some beautiful romance to it. That first kiss between Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes (I think that's who he is) was magnificent. And Pride and Prejudice, of course.
I just recommended this post to my friend, Betty Draper. Great scenes! Some I need to go look for, now. How about Ellen Barkin and (which?) Quaid in the Big Easy?
I guess I am confused about your definition of what is PORN. Isn't the reason there is no story line and just sex the reason it is called PORN?

From my understanding a movie can be erotic without being PORN. The examples you noted I would not consider PORN or even erotica since the above mentioned scenes are part of the story not the reason for the film. The reason for PORN is to show sex.

Yes, PORN is sophomoric and stupid because it is not real. I would imagine the PORN industry cranks out thousands of titles a year. At some point you run out of endless scenarios of women lusting for men without any emotional commitment. But isn't that the crucks of the male fantasy being sold? Sex without any strings.
If you shoot it, they will cum.

*I couldn't help myself*

It's too bad too, because it's probably a lot cheaper to film movies with lots of dialogue and slow build up and long scenes. Fewer actors, fewer scenes, fewer cameramen needed.

To be fair, it may not be that producers are against filming these things, or that they assume they won't be profitable, they may just not have a clue how to do so after filming for a male audience for so long. There likely needs to be some new talent and more of a marketing budget to really kick things off.
Integral to any good story is interesting dialogue, which is almost impossible to find nowadays.
Rated for you so get it. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are two of my all time favorites. I might just go rent them both this afternoon.

I've always thought the scene where Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin make love against a wall in Sea of Love is one of the best as well. Whew... getting all worked up just thinking about it!
I'm afraid I would rather go down on her for an hour first; and then clean the house (and then go back for seconds, a la dessert, thank you...) This is a lusciously revealing post.
Thanks for all the comments! A few specific replies:

Dr Spud, I'm always happy to make a man laugh. Laughter is greatly under rated as an aphrodisiac. A man who can make a woman laugh will get lucky....

Ablonde, yes on Thornbirds, no on The English Patient for me. It's all so subjective, isn't it??

Nora, yes on The Big Easy! I'd forgotten that one.

MTodd, no, these movies aren't porn. That's the point. I'm saying that what turns on many if not most women isn't porn at all - it's sex in the context of a story with believable characters portrayed by good actors -- which you can only find in non-porn films.

Steve, I agree about dialogue! I didn't highlight the role of writers here (funnily enough) but it all comes down to a good script. Without that, you're sunk.

Newsie, glad to hear there are other fans of those 2 movies. I love them and own both.

Dyno, ha! Well, as long as you have your priorities straight....
This is a great list and lots of good movies. How about Richard Gere and Diane Lane in "Unfaithful?" Especially, the scene where they're having "hallway sex," very heated and lusty. And in addition, their intimacy in the movie, pretty good!
That got THIS straight dude all hot 'n' bothered. In fact, I kinda choked up when you mentioned Jimmy & Donna in IAWL. That long, tight closeup while they're sharing the phone just slays me, every single time.
If women aren't interested in the forceful thrusting . . . hmmm . . . Are we two different worlds that just agree to pretend for awhile out of love/respect, we are of the same? No guy thinking/feeling all sensual, is going to be able to get it up. It needn't be revenge, or rape, but not be reptilian-minded conquest?, of the you are now, in essence, my lay?--even with one we know the whole while is our equal?, if we take care? Not sure.
it's true, men and women can have fun together. shame it's so hard to organize, and even harder to maintain.

thx for a good view of female wants, needs- i hope 14 year old boys are reading this and and saying "i see..."
My only quibble here is with that photo from "Against all Odds". It's so awkward one might even believe it was shot against a blue screen, and Bridges is actually leaning on something. His whole posture hints he's about to yell "Someone get this crazy bitch off me!"
Oh man, I am ALL OVER #2. (That almost sounds like a line from that Austin Powers movie, doesn't it?) I like several of your other choices as well. Some, I am not familiar with.

You must have put an awful lot of work into this, and I enjoyed reading all of it. I can't remember who this can be attributed to, but I remember reading a quote from a woman who said something like, "If you watch porn for a few minutes, you want to go home and fuck all night. If you watch porn for more than that, you never want to fuck again."

One scene off the top of my head that I would add is the "curtain" dance in Strictly Ballroom, where Scott and Fran reveal their desire while dancing to Doris Day singing "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps".
Re: Nora and Silkstone and "The Big Easy." I need to explain why that movie gives me the shudders and not the good kind.

Mom bought me a copy of that for my 23rd birthday, on the grounds that 1.) you're moving to New Orleans soon! and 2.) it was in the $6 bin at the Wal-Mart. She then wanted to watch it together. I said, "Uh...OK," having a pretty good idea from the DVD cover that I was going to be watching a sex scene with my mother, never a pleasant experience.

Well, 15 minutes into the movie, that scene happens. And despite Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin being in almost every OTHER scene together, that's the one that prompts Mom to tell me, "You know, honey, in real life, they're exactly your father and I's age."

Think about that for a few minutes. Because I had to. Even though I didn't want to.

Also, it features one of my pet peeves about movie sex scenes...the magical disappearing bra. This is when there's a scene of heat-of-the-moment unplanned sex, and the female's shirt comes off enough to reveal that she's not wearing a bra. Now, I realize there are women who don't wear bras, but 1.) most women do, even if they don't have tits to support, and Ellen Barkin has tits, 2.) most women especially wear a bra if they're wearing a white button-down shirt, 3.) especially if they think it might rain (and it rains every third day in New Orleans and it's POURING in the scene beforehand), 4.) especially if they work in a conservative environment like a law offive (Barkin's character is an assistant D.A.), and 5.) THAT CHARACTER TOTALLY WEARS A BRA. Yet, it has magically disappeared in this scene.

(Oh, and I know you can take a bra off from under a T-shirt without removing the shirt, but there is no way to remove a bra from under a long-sleeved button-down shirt without unbuttoning the shirt if not outright taking it off. Trust me on this one.)

But I do want Ellen Barkin's ability to teleport around the city. You never once see her drive a car, and she's always getting a ride home from someplace with Dennis Quaid or calling a cab, suggesting that she doesn't have her own wheels, yet she can magically show up at any place in the city, including the Westbank, at any time of the day or night within fifteen minutes of getting a phone call telling her to be there.
Great post. And uh, yes...Brad Pitt in T&L. Yum yum. What about the volleyball scene in Top Gun? That's the only part of that movie that holds my attention.
The Editor's got this one right. Great post.

One of my absolute favorite movies is a Louis Malle film entitled "Damage" starring Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche. Don't bother with anything but the Original Unrated Director's Cut. You'll love it.

Highly rated.
Bridges of Madison County... my mom made me watch it with her after a bad relationship so I could see what real intimacy looked like.
Leeandra, lol!

Silkstone, I'm off to update my netflix queue. I suppose I have unfeminine responses to stuff. The sexiest thing I ever saw was a kiss between two men in My Beautiful Laundrette. I like the smoldering romance, but the transgressive knocks my socks off.
Ooh, I felt all sweaty just reading that cover verbiage about this posting and then realized it was me they were talking about who was getting hot!

Thanks for all the further comments. I'm really enjoying reading everyone's take on this issue - that means you men, too!! Some replies:

Pamela - Lane and Gere or Lane and that French muffin-stud she had it off with?

Humanoid, it's cool to hear that that scene in IAWL gets you, too. I always think of it as only being one that "gets" women. I have to reassess!

Patrick, I really didn't follow your comment, so feel free to re state it if there's something you'd like me to answer. I will say that lots of women like forceful thrusting, but not as the be-all and end-all of sex, and certainly not without some, um, preparation before plunging in. That goes for whether we're watching it or experiencing it.

GeeBee, you're right! I would have liked to have found a better photo but it's an old enough movie that's all that several pages of Google yielded.

Jeanette, you're always so good about noticing the effort that goes into my writing! Thanks. Yeah, I worked on this off and on for a couple weeks, but the ideas have been in my head for a while, too.
And your Austin Powers joke cracked me up (I love Austin Powers).

Leeandra, thank you for your long and hilarious comment!! You should send the bra rule to Roger Ebert's site - he collects stuff like that that people send in. I've never noticed that one before you mentioned it, but it's so true. (The one I notice is the disappearing lipstick that actresses have on before they kiss, but not after, and yet it's not all over the guy's face. Unless it's The Last Emperor.) And I understand how those breaks in logic can really mess with your erotic attention. Although here's a theory -- I think they do that mostly for women. Guys seem able to plow over those and keep watching and getting aroused. (A similar one is how many women watch movies where 2 characters have spontaneous sex in the middle of nowhere and think, "But what about birth control??")

Gracielou, the volleyballs scene doesn't "count" for this as I'm only writing about scenes of women and men together. That's just an eye candy scene, like the girls running in Baywatch. And Top Gun doesn't work for me at all, because I can't stand Tom Cruise and he's even worse in that movie, IMO, as he acts so juvenile. Why he gets women hot has always been a mystery to me.... And along the lines of distracting movie stuff, I can't watch it without noticing how Kelly McGillis has to slump in all her scenes with him as she's several inches taller. She looks like a woman (and a sexy one) and he looks like a toothy immature boy.

Harp, I've seen Damage twice (and I adore adore adore Irons) but don't know if it's the director's cut you mention. (What's a quick way I could tell?) But to me, it's not an erotic movie, but a very sad and tragic one.
"All night upon mine heart I felt her warm heart beat,
Night-long within mine arms in love and sleep she lay;
Surely the kisses of her bought red lips were sweet,
But I was desolate and sick of an old Passion,
When I awoke and found the dawn was gray"...

'Zat porn? Whether so or not, that bit of Victorian verse is certainly some kind of climax of eroticism -- I could, and have, pondered it and its entire context of one preceding and two succeeding stanzas for hours, never tiring.

It was written by a man, of course. As I too am a man. And visual as I and most men are, there's not a visual in sight there, except perhaps to the inner eye... Yet, such riveting sentiments there lie, concupiscence you can mainline like an intravenous drug...

I wonder if, there, there is porn enough, contextualized enough, to stir heat in you women? [Or Silkstone, is your discussion of porn for women limited to porn on celluloid?]
the point. I'm going to comment again with some of my favorites - have to think on it a while. It'll be fun making a list. Great post.
Ok I understand what you are saying.
A fun post. I'm just dying to weigh-in with some favorite erotica (literary, mostly) but Grandma She Lied might find me here. I'll settle for adding this quote, whose source I've forgotten:

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
Rated. Couldn't agree more...and there was a movie, Butterfly, where Pia Zadora was given a sensual bath by Stacey Keach. I know, Pia Zadora...but hey...sensual is sensual.
@HelloSheLied ...Wow. Now THAT'S a critical distinction I certainly had not considered with regards to this post and the attendant discussion (nor, I suspect, have most others who have commented here): Porn versus Erotica!

In fact, I would now propose, being only the slightest bit tongue-in-cheek (while pleading guilty to orneriness), Porn is material sexually arousing to men; Erotica is material sexually arousing to women!

And it then follows, by the Commutative and Associative Properties of Arithmetic (and I'll submit to your corrections, O ye auditing mathematicians), material sexually arousing to BOTH men and women is... pornographic erotica. Or erotic porn.

For whatever that matters... Just so wetness or a woody ensues.
Good choices, all. Some of you might remember "Tom Jones," starring a young Albert Finney. It was definitely shot from the man's point of view, except for one scene, the food scene. Finney and his next bed partner are in a pub, eating and savoring every bite. There is no dialogue, only eye contact. The eroticism of food, for both man and woman, screams off the screen.
I would nominate "The Hot Spot," during which Don Johnson must choose between Virginia Madsen and Jennifer Connelly. One of the more entertainingly sexual films I've seen. In an early scene, Madsen drawls to Johnson that "...there ain't but two things to do in this town. And my tee-vee's broke."
Great post, Silkstone. Entertaining and thoughtful. Remember Jane Fonda and Jon Voight in "Coming Home"? Or, of course, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in "Dirty Dancing" or the pottery wheel scene with Patrick and Demi in "Ghost."
Amen Sister! Can we add Hugh Jackman and Vin Diesel to this list of Yummies, or rather men that I would leave my husband for...
This was a lot of fun to read!
I think despite its male dominated overtones, the undertones about what a woman's needs are in all aspects of her life are exemplified wonderfully by Diane Lane in "Unfaithful."
The sex scenes in that movie are hot, but also moving and they sure don't make any apologies.
Great post. In terms of the whole what turns men on versus what turns women on debate, I would add this: one misunderstanding is that women are less sexual or want to see less sexually explicit material. I think we just don't want to feel like the only thing that is available for us to see are scenes that makes us think, "so abused, victimized, and degraded is how men see women and how they find them arousing."
You know, if they made a porn with actual dialog and contact - and emotions, I'd buy it. I have quite a few porns and watch them but there is something lacking in it. Even in BDSM porn, I like a story. Truth is, I thought Excalibur had more sex appeal than most porns I've seen, even though it's utterly laughable that Uther takes Igraine while he's still in full armor (which either has something to do with the fact that the director assumed men would be turned off by seeing a naked man or that Igraine was played by the director's daughter). Still, he cast his own daughter in all her naked panting glory while denying that same appeal for women, which seems all too typical of most directors these days.
The examples you provide are not really porn for women. Just regular movies with sex scenes, in the same way these are different from true porn movies geared toward men.

Frankly, there is so little female nudity in movies these days compared to years ago, and it is disappointing. While I (obviously) don't care to see male nudity that continues to become more prominent, there has not been a proportionate rise in female nudity.

I find it ironic that mainstream movies have reduced the amount of female nudity during a decade when fashion dictates showing more of the female body, even in the workplace, than ever before. Yet there is far less female nudity in movies this decade compared with the past. I think that has more to do with the increase in porn, whether via internet or movie, to give us guys the chance to see as much as we want to see.

I mean, come on, I'm tired of seeing cute babes in the movies concerned about the bed sheet covering their boobs from a lover in a scene. That is so unreal.
I'd be interested in your take on "Henry and June", the sexiest movie I remember seeing
nice list. see also a list I made of "great/sexy movies about nonmonogamy/polyamory"
I loved Y.E.S.---quite a lot of it, especially the scene in the cafe.

Also, Sex & Lucia (she's into the guy because of his writing!) and Widow of St. Pierre--which I love for how the husband treats his wife.

But the the scene in It's a Wonderful Life when she's on the phone--it 's so romantic it melts my heart.
Yes on Last of the Mohicans! :)

I also enjoyed The English Patient, although more for the scenes after Fiennes and Thomas end their affair and he becomes consumed by desire and jealousy, most notably in the dinner party scene and in the scene where he asks her about the "boy" she was dancing with. I melt at the way he looks at her when they're dancing near the beginning of the film, when she accuses him of being predatory. Ooh! Oooh! The look of anguish on his face when she tells him what an idiot he's been and that she's always loved him.

Original Sin, with Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderes has some of the hottest sex scenes I've seen in a film, not to mention the great study into broken/unhealthy relationships.

Chocolat, for the subtle relationship between Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp.

Cold Mountain, for the sheer fact that Jude Law's character is possibly the most consistently good man in the entire film. I'd let him rip some buttons off of my dress. . . .

Mmmm. Brad Pitt. . . . .

I don't think you're going to find the sharp distinction you're looking for between porn and erotica. It's not just Silkstone. Everywhere, perfectly humane treatments of sex are called porn, and very crude things are called erotica. I don't think a genuine distinction exists in usage, however much we may want to create one philosophically.
Thanks again for all the comments! A few more replies:

Mot, this post is just about movies. But I'm with you on the power of the written word, especially since I grew up before things were as graphic on TV or in films (or there was an internet).

Hello, I've heard that quote before. I don't know about lighting, but perhaps (per Steve B) the difference is in the writing??

Alsace, that scene in Tom Jones was quite something at the time, but I always felt it was comic, not sexy. (And the fact that she turns out to be his mother kind of kills it, doncha think?)

When Knots, I actually think "Unfaithful" was a lot from the woman's POV. I had mixed feelings about that movie, but liked that aspect of it, especially Lane's killer scene riding the train home after her first tryst. I don't know if I've ever seen that feeling so well-portrayed before. I also thought she really captured how sex can enthrall a woman, in a believable way.

Caroline, I loved your comment! I agree that men tend to think women don't want to see sexual content in movies, when the problem is with the content available. I think we really haven't seen that much on screen that truly explores sex from a woman's POV.

Renaissance, you made a similar point, I think. That's why we go with scenes in non-porn movies that turn us on.

Roy, I saw Henry and June with a male friend when it came out. And we both walked out feeling the same way, which is that at first it was titillating but after a while, we wanted to throw up our hands and say, "please, no more fucking!" It got repetitive and uninteresting. I was surprised my male friend felt the same way.

Paddle, "Y.E.S"? don't know that one....
Loved The Kiss in Witness, Thelma and Louise is the ONLY movie in which I could stand Brad Pitt, and Lopez and Clooney generated real heat in Out of Sight (I read a great review of the movie titled, "Jenifer Lopez Makes a Man Out of George Clooney".

I did not find that Sarandon/Costner or Sarandon/Robbins scene sexy in Bull Durham. I just didn't.

You missed one: the super hot scene in The Last Seduction with Linda Fiorentina (up against the chain link fence, yowza).

I can't say I necessarily need to see characters faking falling in love when I'm watching porn. I am all for unbridled lust untainted by tender feelings. As long as the connection is real and the woman actually seems to be hot for the guy, it's a 100% improvement over the tripe currently available.

By the way, this: "Like white male Senators who assume that they operate in objective neutral reality while women and minorities have biases that affect and distort their judgment and actions, many in the porn industry continue to assume that the human sex drive comes in just one flavor: Male (either straight or gay)."
........was awesome!
Stellaa, I've only seen the edited version of Don't Look Now on TV. Thanks for reminding me to get it from Netflix and finally see that famous scene. Although that film is so creepy, I'm not sure I can watch the rest of it again. I may just have to watch the sex.

Sandra, thanks! You know, The Last Seduction gets brought up a lot in these types of discussions and although I liked that movie for other reasons, the sex didn't do it for me. A woman behaving like a man sexually doesn't excite me -- and that's how I saw Fiorentino's character. What I'd like to see is more women on screen behaving like women do in real life, sexually, rather than behaving as they're supposed to in a man's fantasy.
Daniel Day Lewis.... I could look at him for a looooong time. =o) Thought he was marvelous in Last of the Mohiccans Also loved him in Age of Innocence and the way he watched Michelle Pfeiffer as the not quite respectable Ellen Olenska. Why he then turned around and married his irritating, proper fiancee as played by Winona Ryder I DO not understand! Respectability was an iron harness then, though.

I could also look at Paul Newman for a long time, but so could almost every other woman in America. Way too much competition, even without Joanne Woodward in the picture. =o)
Brad and Geena in T&L, Kevin and Susan in BD, yes yes YES!

Anyone remember a little Aussie indie movie from the '80s called The Coca Cola Kid? It had one memorable scene between Greta Scacchi and Eric Roberts involving a Santa suit and a veritable snowstorm of feathers. Roberts was young and oh so buff.
Eroticism needs a degree of subtlety that most films therse days don't have a clue about. Thumbified and I'll let my wife know about this! I'm sure she'll aggree loudly!
Damn, I said that wrong and glad you caught me. Yes, I meant Lane and Olivier Martinez. Too hot, hot, hot!!!
This was superb on every level. Congratulations on a very well deserved EP. You have m head swirling with memories and thinking about others I would want to add. Maybe I'l just keep those to myself and reflect on them alone and return later....
Have not read the comments yet but the love scene after the wedding in the Big Easy is first rate. As is the scene when Dennis Quaid's character is awakened in the middle of the night to answer a business call and gets up shirtless and sweaty. And well just about any scene he is in during that movie.

Ummm . . . . I have seen the movie about 500 times.
Great post. Great comments.

Did anyone mention the scene from "Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid," where Redford is waiting for Ross, and has her undress at gunpoint, and just before she is naked she asks, "Can't you ever be on time?" Loved that scene.

And later, when Ross, Newman and Redford are on the boat sailing to South America, and Redford and Ross are dancing and Newman is watching them, and you know it is a love triangle in the making.

Of course, this could all be about my fascination with live triangles.
Great list!

And what? Nobody's said Y Tu Mama Tambien yet?


Um. I'll be in my bunk.
So glad you included "The Piano." I confess to liking "Big Easy," with Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin, and "Say Anything" with John Cusak and I forget the girl lead. Those guys CHASED those girls. I'll betcha this will live on the "Most Watched" feed for a good long time.
What about Body Heat - the scene where William Hurt breaks the window with the chair . . . .
Great post-- my husband (yes!) and I have spent lots of time looking for good movies such as the ones you speak of. My personal favorite (which I can't believe no one's mentioned!) is The Lover. Gorgeous, and VERY hot. I insist you go out and rent it right now-- I guarantee, you will not be disappointed.

Also, loved LC London's comment about women constantly covering themselves with the sheet while they're supposedly in bed with a lover. How ridiculously fake. Hate that.
I'm going to stay out of the whole porn vs erotica argument, since I write what I consider to be erotica, but some might see as pornographic since it gets pretty graphic.
Anyway, don't know if I missed it in the comments, but I would have to nominate the scene in the THE BIG EASY where Ellen Barkin is trying to have a phone conversation and Dennis Quaid has his hand up her skirt and is obviously stroking her to orgasm. I remember seeing this when I was much younger and nearly sliding off my seat in the movie theatre.
Matt, I agree the lines between what is considered PORN and erotic are blurred. Even trying to plug in terms like story or artistic value becomes in the eyes of the beholder.

The truth is although a high percentage of adults male and female have seen PORN at some point in their lives the percentage that purchase and watch PORN regularly is much lower. I remember the Meese report. It's findings were that 90% of the money spent on PORN was from less than 15% of total adults who have seen it.

The bottom line is while sex may be fun to do, it gets rather boring to watch for any amount of time. Adding story lines, production values and some sort of acting will not change the fact that PORN is boring to most people.
Oh Silk I'm overseas and just reading a few posts but yours was a no-brainer. Don't have time to read the comments but would include Body Heat, Y Tu Mama Tambien, and the one with Sean Young and Kevin Costner and the back seat scene of the limo. I will try to think of more.

I once wrote a porno script with a friend and altho I was paid, the producer was furious that it had too much teasing and too much of a plot. My friend and I read it to each other and thought it was really hot.

Great post!!
God, how stupid.

This "essay" should be titled: "Top Ten Sex Scenes for Women from Movies Who Have Been Covered in the First 10 Minutes of Entertainment Tonight".

Where does Salon find these people?
It's interesting reading other people's nominations for hot scenes and thinking how I feel about them. It's all so "eye of the beholder" (or would that be "crotch of the watcher"?)

I agree with some - if I'd thought of The Big Easy (which is by far the most mentioned in comments, I think), I would have included it. But why didn't I think of it? I guess it hasn't flypapered itself to my erotic memory as the others have. I'm not sure why.

And I thought of "Body Heat" when I was first making this list, but when I thought a bit more, I realized that the sex in that film (which I love as a neo-noir) didn't turn me on. Pondering why, I think it's because Turner's character is so obviously calculating and doesn't seem to really be enjoying herself, but instead playing a game. (Hurt, as makes sense for his character, does seem really into it.) And I think for me, it's critical that both parties appear to be really into each other. If it feels like one is faking -- either because the character is doing so as in Body Heat or the actor can't convey believable desire (as in any Tom Cruise movie) -- then it doesn't work for me.

Several folks mentioned Y Tu Mama Tambien. I have sort of deliberately avoided seeing it because when it came out I read some reviews that summed it up as a woman being used for young boys' sexual enlightenment, and that it was yet another film about sex from the male POV. So I didn't feel drawn to it. I'll probably see it at some point, though, because it gets talked about a lot.

Butch Cassidy...I also remember seeing that at a very tender age and finding it (esp that scene but also the threesome aspect) quite exciting. I've seen it many times since and it feels different - more like seeing funny dear old friends. Not erotic at all.

And that's another aspect of this -- there are movies we see when young that really excite us, in large part because we're sexually inexperienced and also these might be our first images on screen of sex. Later on, they do nothing for us (or even are laughable). But that early imprinting remains.

I once had a discussion with a film prof and fellow students about just that - our first sexual reaction to something on film and he said for him it was something very innocent about Debbie Reynolds and a closet (maybe going in to change her clothes). This was in the 50's, mind you, and he was all of 11 years old or so at the time. We laughed at the idea of Debbie Reynolds being erotic, but most of us (esp growing up before things were so explicit) had similar early "pings" at stuff that was quite mild. Often those reactions can't really be explained to anyone else.
Excellent, excellent post, silkstone -- I've seen most of these wonderful films.

Add to the list: William Hurt and Kathleen Turner in "Body Heat." There's just something about a man who throws a chair through the window.....
Going back a ways, Sirenita had mentioned subversion. That can work for me, too -- and I loved My Beautiful Laundrette!
Mitchum, in fact, yes, Salon did an exhaustive search to find the roughly 4,000 of us who blog for free here on OS, usually with very few people reading what we write, and never knowing if we'll hit the blog jackpot and see our posts on the cover of Salon so that people who aren't familiar with OS can make comments like yours.
"White Mischief"
Great list, and #1 and #2 come in exactly in that order for me. When I saw Thelma and Louise in the theatre, the collective gasp that happened in that scene was amusing.

Judging from my female neighbors, friends and family's reactions, Australia could be on that list, too.
Did I miss Patrick Swayze in the infamous pottery wheel scene with Demi Moore? or with Jennifer Grey? and I didn't even think he was all that great looking in those scenes!
"I have sort of deliberately avoided seeing it (Y Tu Mama Tambien) because when it came out I read some reviews that summed it up as a woman being used for young boys' sexual enlightenment, and that it was yet another film about sex from the male POV. "
No, that's not what it is at all. I felt like the opposite was happening, that the woman was using the young boys to escape from her reality. She's definitely the one who knows what she's doing, while the boys are relatively clueless.
Wow! And then there's that yummy scene in "Ghost" with Demi Moore, making pottery with slimy clay, engulfed by, in and around...steamy sensual, lusty...more wow!
I have maybe a bit of a strange one. One of the most " woman porn" moments for me in a movie is in Bourne Identity when Bourne is cutting Marie's hair. It gets me all tingly and in love with the fantasy of a guy being so strong and intelligent, but so freaking gentle and genuine. I always end up with thighs pressed tightly together ;)

What a fun post. And true. Thank you.
And yeah... Last of the Mohicans...? HELLO! Where do I get me one of those???
Mom ruined George Clooney for me too. She once phoned to tell me that she'd seen the previews for "The Good German" and that Dad looked like George Clooney in that. I told her that I really didn't see the resemblance, but thanks for ruining George Clooney for me anyway.

She then said, "Oh, I don't mean ALL the time. But just picture your father in a Nazi uniform!"

At which point I told her I was going to go stick my head in the oven.
Great post. I'd say more, but I gotta go clean something.
Paul Newman is THE Best.

Clooney, Brad, and Redford, and Bridges make it for me, but for a movie "Before Sunset" is the ONE.

See IT if You haven't.
Leeandra, heh. :) I post to an authors' board (the Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child board) on which most of the threads are about P and C's series detective, an uber-wealthy, Holmesian ex-New Orleans guy named Pendergast. Whenever the question of who should play said 'tec in movies comes up, Matthew McConnaughey is often suggested. One of the posters invariably gets weirded out because her dad looks just like MMcC--and she's got a major fictional-character crush on Pendergast. :)
And as far as a sizzling screen couple goes, Frank Langella and Kate Nelligan in 1979's DRACULA have amazing chemistry. Her "new Woman" character is more than an equal for Dracula in terms of intelligence and sensitivity, and that erotic give-and-take is still some good stuff...:)
Wonderful list and wonderful additions by readers. Thanks especially to the person who mentioned Daniel Day-Lewis and Michelle Pfeiffer in The Age of Innocence. In one scene, they are in a small, enclosed carriage, alone -- he unbuttons her glove and kisses the palm of her hand and wrist, then proceeds to the back of her neck. In another, when they are alone in a small room, he starts by kissing the back of her neck and ends by kissing her shoe. It's extraordinary ... in the right hands, a little goes a long way. ... Also, for an example of female aggression (with all clothes kept on), how about Pfeiffer singing (and slithering to) "Makin' Whoopee" on top of a piano while Jeff Bridges plays the keys and tries (not quite successfully) to mask his response to her in "The Fabulous Baker Boys"?
i need to add my recurring favorites:

The Thomas Crown Affair, 1999 version, with pierce brosnan at the peak of his beauty, enjoying a very smart pas de deux with rene russo. one of the unfortunately RARE movies where an over 40 man was paired with -- gasp! -- AN OVER 40 WOMAN! who is sexy, intelligent and successful in her own right. and they have hot monkey sex. great movie.

in the category of "we know it's barely disguised porn for girls, we made it that way" i'm going to go with The Lover from 1992. deeply satisfying ... context. yeah.
Great list.

I LOVED Out of Sight--it was a wonderful little film before Soderburgh or even Jennifer Lopez hit it really big. This was when she was getting her breaks as an actress and wasn't even known as a singer yet.

And that bar scene with the snow swirling in the night outside the window was to die for.

This will date me, but I will always remember seeing the original Rocky, and his and Adrienne's first kiss.
The chemistry between Clooney and Lopez (Out of Sight) was off the charts. You can practically see the sparks fly in all of their scenes together, but that sequence at the top of Detroit's Renaissance Center is definitely the best (althought the initial "trunk" scene is pretty hot too). Pretty astonishing, as I wouldn't say that JLo is known much for her acting skills.

The subsequent scene (in the hotel room) should be a case-in-point for the bra rule corollary: JLo is wearing an incredible tight, form-fitting dress in the previous scene, but after the camera swings away as she's undressing, they bring her back into focus and she's wearing some gorgeous frilly lingerie. Sorry, but those types of items just create lumps, bumps, and seams under tight clothing. A dress like hers requires foundation, not frills, even if you're JLo.
And my wholehearted agreement with the Bourne Identity post earlier...and in a pure action film, no less!
Fun! Great picks, and of the thousands of comments I read...couldn't finish them all...more good picks. My favorite: The Thomas Crown Affair with McQueen and Dunaway. Rated
YES is by Sally Potter. Joan Allen, Sam Neill and Simon Abkarian.
Abkarian is an immigrant living in England, Allen is in a bad marriage with Neil. It's political and erotic and romantic.

Oh, and it's in iambic pentameter--a poem all the way through. Very sexy!
Good post. You gave me some titles to throw in my Netflix.

However, I disagree with this statement:

Yet execs these days treat each “chick flick” that makes piles of money as a fluke, rather than the sign of a market starved for entertainment that appeals to them, and settling for the most mindless mainstream version of it (see above list).

I don't think this is true at all. Chick Flicks and Date Movies are a crucial part of the Hollywood mix. The " Obviously, the big action blockbusters that cost $100MM to make get a lot of press and marketing, but there is a constant flow of less testosterone fueled films as well. The Katherine Heigl-Gerard Butler rom-com, "The Ugly Truth", is getting heavy promotion right now. "500 Days of Summer" has an indie-feel but should also have female appeal and Sandra Bullock's latest, "The Proposal" was certainly made with women in mind.

Studios LOVE these types of movies because they are inexpensive to make which reduces their risk. They also tend to have long lives on TV.

I don't think you can say that studio execs ignore female moviegoers. They cater to them quite a bit.
There are people who prepare all their lives for a pizza delivery man role, now with internet porn, those days are over. It's tragic. "Oh, I've got your extra sausage, right here, ma'am."
Well, in my defense, some women are perhaps naturally more aggressive and not just b/c it's a man's fantasy (actually I'd say it might be a guy's fantasy, but most respond, uh, limply to women who are actually sexually aggressive - even if they want to do otherwise, it can be quite a switch up for some guys not to be in a 'leadership' role). Besides, in the scene I am talking about, I thought her character was uncharacteristically passive.

I agree with you on the Body Heat sex, though Kathleen Turner's line is one of my all time faves: "You're not too bright, are you?I like that in a man."
In The Year of Living Dangerously, Mel Gibson puts on a tux and goes to see Sigourney Weaver at a ball - he pulls her outside and (I think) kisses her. She tells him she can't go with him. It totally did it for me - obviously way before the whole Gibson crazy freak thing happened.
Just want to say that this man agrees with you about context. Most porn I've seen (and I've seen too much. Thank god there was no internet when I was a teenager--I would've worn it to a nub) is just excruciatingly boring. Watching two strangers fuck is as exciting as fucking a stranger, which is to say, it's okay if there's nothing better to do, but there's almost always something better to do. Maybe the reason men go for watching two (or three) women is the possibility that they're really connecting. And the porn that is now known as "vintage" was better because risible as the acting and dialog was, at least people had something to say. Nowadays, the girls (using the term advisedly) all look like Barbie (even unto their nether hairlessness) and would be as interesting to share some pre- or post-coital time with. Give me a grown woman--with a sense of humor--anytime. I trust I'm not the only man who feels this way.
Right on, Girlfriend!
The book (and movie) from which I take my blog handle, Persuasion (book by Jane Austen, who surely knew something about repressed emotion), features a scene in which Miss Anne Elliot reads a love letter from her once-and-possibly-future lover, Captain Wentworth. The letter makes for some ferociously passionate reading in the book, but in the movie, Ciaran Hinds as Wentworth delivers the lines with such growled emotion -- "You pierce my soul ... I am half agony, half hope ..." and Amanda Root as Anne Elliot reads with such frantic joy on her face, that even the hardest heart must be melted. The kiss that follows is almost anticlimactic.
Nobody else is going to remember my choice, "The Name of the Rose," but the peasant girl certainly seemed to be enjoying herself.
Paris Hilton and Rick Solomon - now there's a tender moment we can all relate with
Well written. RATED
This is a really great list and I see some of my all time favorites here--Clooney & Lopez, Lane & the Fabulous Frenchman--but Gere should get some props here for the overwhelming passion he shows for his wife. Not like a snotty "I own you, bitch" caveman thing, but he is emoting the deep pain of betrayal. Possibly not erotic, but revealing a vulnerability one usually doesn't see in the role of the husband on film. When he is standing in the hallway in front of the door to the lover's loft and the first thing he says with rage and disgust is "How OLD are you?", it is generally what you see from a woman confronting her man's mistress--the realization that she has been passed over for the younger babe.

For me, I have watched lots of porno of all kinds and what is worse than the male-oriented thrust, pump and money shot, are the films made by female porn directors specifically for females (and their significant others). There are several successful women in this genre--Candida Royalle's hard-core stuff comes to mind and she has lots of fans. I applaud her vision of creating material specifically geared toward women--seeing this as a niche needing to be filled. I don't respond to these as fantasy-fillers at all, however.

There is one funny sort of post-apocalyptic hard--but not too hard core--sci-fi film with "something for everybody". It is a 1980s cult classic called "Cafe Flesh". It's got a plot (sort of), characters (unusual ones) and I must warn you, that if you though Rhett Butler carrying Scarlett up the stairways was enough for you, you do not want to watch this film. It is clearly a different kind of costume[less] voyage that crosses the line for many. For you, I would recommend sticking to this well-compiled list. It can keep you busy for some time.
Wow. I'm all tingly now. I'd second all of these that I've seen, and will try to track down those I haven't as soon as possible.

And yes, Silkstone, if you haven't seen Y Tu Mama Tambien, I hope you will. It might be my favorite movie ever, and it nicely balances the "young boys learn life lessons from sex w/ older woman" story with the "woman achieves sexual and psychological liberation w/ a little bit of help from a couple of extremely attractive younger men" angle.

Leeandra, your "mom and George Clooney" comment made me laugh out loud.
I agree completely with the entire post. And I'm a male who finds regular porn boring.
Finally! An intelligent, well researched and though out commentary that is reality based for women. Kuddos, silkstone.
I find the porn I have seen ridiculous, laughable and boring and definitely not a turn on.. Jeez, I'm not really necessary in the bedroom, am I?
One of my favorites is White Castles with James Spader and Susan Sarandon. It immediately sprang to mind because it was so damn sensual.
Alma Garret and Seth Bullock on Deadwood had me envious! Give us more!
OK, not to pile on, as this one has 20 million comments already, but I loved "A Room with A View" and the kissing scenes with Helena Bonham Carter and Julian Sands.

Maybe because I saw it as a teenager. Very, very sexy and utterly romantic.
Have no idea whether this one was from the woman's point of view or not, but as a young teen it sure got *me* standing at attention: Elia Kazan's "Splendor in the Grass", with Natalie Wood & Warren Beatty.

Great list, though - and one point about "Y tu mama tambien" - try to watch it on a screen at least slightly large; then, instead of scrutinising what's going on *in* the car, pay close attention to the parade of vignettes we witness *outside* the car. Almost subversively semi-subliminal; ok, that's completely outside the purview of this discussion, but since the film came up, thought I'd mention it.
You could hear every woman in the movie theater sigh when the camera pans up to Billy Dee's face as he reaches down to help Diana Ross up from the floor. "You gon let my hand fall off?" Sigh....
I LOVE this piece. Have long thought about doing something like it. And I agree with many of your love scenes. And yes, they get me "going," too. Wonderful!
You totally left out Ned Beatty and the Hillbilly from "Deliverance"!
BTW, Shameless blog-whoring. Coyote Old Style and I will be posting Friday night erotica tonight. We hope you'll come over to our sites around 8 pm and see what we cooked up.

And, if people want to comment when they see what's up, they can tell us whether we fall into the erotica or porn categories....
Oh hell yes- 1, 5, 7, 8 all memorable- and my personal favorites not on this list:

Andy Garcia and Nancy Travis in Internal Affairs upset making up/reclaiming sex
Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas- LuckySweetheart and other already mentioned my favorite scene, but all of them between the two of them mmm
and Ellen Barkin- who is she NOT hot with- she's not even visually what I find beautiful, but damn that woman has some serious fuckme chemistry
"Y tu mama tambien"- my bestfriend and I saw that together and we literally could not stop giggling after the movie cause we didn't even know how to talk about how sexy it was
FYI: The Hollywood Reporter announced today that Diane Keaton will star in a new half-hour comedy series being developed for HBO. The as-yet unnamed series will feature Keaton as a feminist icon who starts a sexually explicit magazine for women. The comedy will be produced by Grady Twins Productions with writer Marti Noxon, Dawn Parouse Olmstead, and Keaton as executive producers.
Sorry about the lousy formatting of the prior comment- got a little too incoherently excited there, obviously :)
I also missed mentioning Jason Patric in Narc (great soundtrack) and in After Dark, My Sweet.
Just a couple thoughts:

First, even within the sexes, there is *tons* of diversity in what turns people on. I think the notion of 'this is what women like' is just as silly a statement as 'this is what men like'. I know many many women who love to watch porn, and I know many men that would prefer their porn to include more sensual aspects.

Second, while you may not agree, I think that porn serves a different purpose than what you've put across here. I feel like you've described scenes that take you from "not turned on" to "aroused". And I would agree with all of your selections. (ok, except The Piano. I don't find Harvey Keitel anything but creepy in that movie) But from my personal experience, porn fills a different niche. I don't ever (nor have my partners ever to my knowledge) gotten out the porn when we weren't turned on already. Once you're aroused, once you're past the point that these movies stop showing things, many people want to watch the actual sex. The problem is finding something that goes from one to the other. And in a timely manner. ;)
Well, to begin with I'm another male, but the elements that make a scene erotic for the consensus typical woman also make it erotic for me (although with reservations about the male housecleaning).

First of all, I must say that I can endorse the appeal of all the scenes mentioned by silkstone and the various commenters which I have seen, except for the scene, which I don't remember at all, in "It's a Wonderful Life."

I may be confusing "erotic" with "romantic,"
but then I'm under the impression that for the typical female "romantic" is "erotic."

How about "dance" as an erotic element? Were the almost paternal teacherly devotion of Patrick Swayze and the lovely surrender to him in dance terms of Jennifer Grey and the consequent release of her own movement impulses erotic, or was it the gentle mutual bedroom seduction (or both). Or was it the brotherly affectionate devotion of Swayze to his blonde dance partner? All of it? For me all these components were bound together to make this a terrific love story.

In the 1953 movie version of Gian Carlo Menotti's "The Medium,"
the mute "mulatto" Toby, played by Leo Coleman, nude to the waist, in a living room or salon, dances out up close to the seated Monica, played by Anna Maria Albergetti, his class and race-prohibited (and therefore unrequitable) love and desire for her.

Or Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron dancing along the Seine to "Our Love is Here to Stay" in "An American in Paris."

And I'd like to propose a recent Australian film, in which the entire movie perhaps could be considered an erotic "moment" from a "typically" female perspective. It's "Better Than Sex," with the two protagonists played by actors unknown in the U.S. The photography is so tight that every pore and freckle on the lovers' bodies is displayed. A one-night stand becomes something else, as the couple explore their sexuality and find once parted that their hearts and not just their bodies have been opened, reluctantly, to each other. There are things I don't like about the film: the score and a fantasy element (a female cupid cabdriver with magical powers).

Thinking of fantasy (and the common appeal of "IAWL," how about the Robert Downey Jr., Cybil Shepherd romance in the 1989 "Chances Are," in which Downey's lustful passes at the generation older Shepherd are finally tonic to Shepherd when she becomes convinced that he is truly the reincarnation of her beloved long-dead husband. I find all this to-do charming, but less than erotic.

And Downey brings to mind a scene in "Two Girls and A Guy," that others elsewhere have found "hot," between Heather Graham forcing fellatio on Downey in the presence of Natasha Gregson Wagner to demonstrate control in some perverse retribution for his suddenly revealed double-timing of them. As an aside, Downey's performance throughout is wackily virtuoso.

Speaking of female control, that brings up one of my favorite films, with a scene that may be as erotic for female viewers (all the women I know who've seen the film love it, but I've never questioned them about the erotic appeal of any particular scene). The movie is "Nea," sometimes known (and unwarrantedly denigrated as "The Young Emanuelle." It is not "soft-core porn." To me it's a sweet feminist parable with a young woman (a precocious teenager) taking control of her life and her sexuality. The director is Nelly Kaplan (that's Nellee Kaplahn, roughly) an Argentinian turned French. Her heroine, without any sexual experience outside purloined books and her own self-manipulation, writes anonymously an erotic novel, "Nea," that becomes a runaway bestseller. Her publisher could be called "Monsieur McDreamy" he's the darkly handsome (like the mature Patrick Dempsey) Sami Frey, and a bookseller whose store is the source of the young author's stolen erotica. There are two scenes I think might be as erotic to at least some female sensibilities as they are to mine. The young heroine (Sybille) is attractive but not stunning (she would not, at least in ordinary dress, "turn men's heads.)" However in this first scene in which the publisher has finally acceded to her plea to be her partner and teacher in her first non-solo sexual experience. In his mountainside chalet she strips away sweater and jeans and, privately, makes elaborate preparations for bedding M.McDreamy with steamy shower, exfoliations, makeup, haircare, etc.-- she's meticulous and takes a long time and then stands naked in a doorway facing her lover-to-be, radiant and smiling, backlit as though in a sunburst. He takes her in his arms and they make love. A quick learner, she then straddles him for round two (remember, it's not porn, not a genital anaomy lesson). The second scene I suggest may be erotic for female viewers follows Sybille's faking of a rape (replete with semen she masturbates from a pimply adolescent servant boy who's always pleading with her to make out) to take vengeance on her lover-teacher-publisher after spotting him having sex with his plain female assistant and her glamorous but all-too-bourgeois older sister (she's part of a wealthy Swiss family; the father drives a Rolls),
The publisher winds up jailed, but then escapes. He invades Sybille's sanctuary in a wild state demanding she confess her lies to the police; she physically attacks him and they get into a vicious wrestling match that turns into feverish lovemaking. In the final dimly lit scene that follows, they're in the boat she's used to pry on him in his chalet, to row across the lake to it.

Getting back to two-girls-and-a-guy, there the 1982 "Summer Lovers." Set blissfully on a Greek isle, with beach nudity rampant, a young American couple are first divided by the man's (Peter Gallagher) fling with a resident female French archaeologist, but eventually the three wind-up fond of each other and living and frolicking on the beaches together. In one scene, after Gallagher has been sexing separately and apart with his long-time companion Darryl Hannah and the liberated archaeologist (a European unknown) and the three relating together socially, he kisses one, which the other woman jokingly denigrates, and the women start challenging him to up the heat. They all wind up spending the night together in bed. We don't see any sexual interaction other than kisses, and it doesn't seem that the women relate that way, but it's never specified. The Frenchwoman moves in with the Americans, and they sleep every night in the same bed. My question, maybe pro forma, since it may be that few have seen it, is whether the kiss challenge scene is hot to a female viewer?

I think there've been fewer cinematic triangles where there are two guys and a girl(whereas, in reality, from my experince of California, especially in the 70s, is that the longer-lasting "triads" were the two-guys-and-a-girl ones). The movie that comes to mind immediately is "Threesome" with Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin and Josh Charles, which had two scenes with erotic qualities, one with all three in bed and the other with them in a natural setting like a river bank. For me, none of the actors was sufficiently attractive or passionate, for the film to leave much of an impression.

There's another kind of 2-guys-and-a-girl scene in Bernardo Bertolucci's 2003 "The Dreamers" in which a boy-girl pair are also brother-sister and take in another boy. The main scene where they/she seduce him is shown graphically and should be hot, but to my (male) eye is too calculated. I'm interested in female responses to this film and scene.

Then, further to explore beyond "vanilla," as it's sometimes called, how about the sweet episode of lovemaking between the 12-year-old handsome French boy and his young Italian mother as she keeps him company as he recuperates from TB in Louis Malle's 1971 "Murmur of the Heart." Doesn't that push some "yes" feminine buttons as well as some "no" buttons. Curiously, for me the main appeal of the film is the raucous relationship of the young male lead with his two brothers, which resonates against my experience with my own four sons, rather than the incest.

There's a famous scene in the 1979 Bertolucci film, "Luna," in which Jill Clayburgh nurses her distraught teen-age drug addict son at her breast and then masturbates him. I haven't seen this film. Its DVD apparently became available only recently (months or years), but Netflix has it on a wait-list without enough requests, it seems, to actually put it in stock.
My hottest mental image (if we're talking men, which we are here) is not a visual. It's listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn play the guitar, and imagining his fingers playing me.
You are welcome.
Three more: Passion Fish -- David Strathairn & Mary McDonnell (even though she's in a wheelchair & he's married to a fundie) AND Vondie Curtis-Hall as a flirtatious Cajun guy hot for Alfre Woodard. Speaking of John Sayles films -- the scene in Lone Star between Chris Cooper & Elizabeth Pena where they're dancing in the diner. Oh Yes.

My Brilliant Career -- Sam Neill & Judy Davis -- really erotic, even without actual sex but there is all this young energetic intense yet playful desire & he looks like he wants to devour her in a good way.
Excellent pillow fight.

Night Moves -- Gene Hackman & Jennifer Warnes (I think that's her name) -- which is a great movie with a lot of hot flirting.

And -- okay -- make it five: a guilty pleasure -- Broken Vows -- this t.v. movie with Tommy Lee Jones where he's a priest tempted by Annette O' Toole who eats M&Ms from a jar. He spends a lot of time flirting with her before he finally gives in. I'm not sure if I like this because of my thing for Tommy Lee Jones or because of my thing about tempted priests. Either way, it works.
In addition to Silkstone's original list -- with which I have no quarrel -- two of my other personal favorites have already been mentioned: "Unfaithful" and "Don't Look Now."

But I don't think anyone has yet nominated "A Walk On The Moon." Remember Viggo Mortensen as the Blouse Man, anybody? anybody? And how lucky is Diane Lane to have been in that movie with him AND in "Unfaithful" with that hot French guy Olivier Martinez? Boy, she must have done something really, really good in a previous life.

BTW my favorite scene in "Unfaithful" -- next to the train scene which, technically, isn't a sex scene but captures the feeling of having just had great sex in a way that I, at least, have never seen done so well -- is the one where she meets her girlfriends for lunch and Martinez crashes the party, so to speak. If you saw it, you know just what I mean. Sigh!!!!
Well thank you Silkstone. A woman honest about her sex is so titillating. Absolutely enthralled by your article and all the comments, so now I'll add mine.

Well said 'Lucky Sweetheart'; as a guy, I thought 'Cold Mountain' was the most romantic film I've ever seen, the whole movie is one long love scene. As for definitions of scandalous and frankness, Andy Warhol set the bar (excuse the pun), with his movies "Blow Job" and "Blue Movie".

However, I would include another movie to your list, Alan Parker's "Angel Heart". The love scene between Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet is pornographically explicit in so much as what it doesn't show. It is the directors vision and photographic interpretation that portrays the intense emotion and physicality of the act. It is as though he and us are voyeurs and participants simultaneously.

By the way - I would love to clean a woman's house and perform oral sex on her for an hour. I'm just not to sure what she would enjoy most !
Loved this! I've been discussing how men and women see porn differently with a couple of my male friends and the differences (and their interest in what turns women on) are fascinating! I love all of these scenes. Also, several scenes from "Henry and June" based on the dairies of Anais Nin. Yummy.
Terrific post.
Don't think anyone mentioned this film: The Postman Always Rings Twice. Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange. On the table. Scathingly hot. There's something about kitchens...
Great post. I like The Big Easy and Bull Durham and many, many others. Love A Man and a Woman too.
Great stuff. So many men seem to have only the vaguest idea of how women think. I find myself still surprised and I'm old enough to have learned better.
Wow, I went off line about noon yesterday and came back this AM to see all these further great comments! Thanks for all of them. It's been particularly fascinating to hear everyone else's take on what is sexy for them. I can't answer all of the comments but here's a few responses:

Several people have brought up "Ghost". That's one of those films that I can't get into since I don't find the leads, esp Swayze, appealing. That's generally true for me (as it probably is for most folks, male or female) - I have to be able to put myself into the film as one lead and imagine being attracted to the other lead (actor in my case). Although, there are exceptions - e.g. I mention above that I'm not attracted to Redford.

Thanks for the varied comments on Y Tu Mama Tambien - you guys have talked me into seeing it!

Yes to a couple folks who mentioned the hair cutting and washing scene in the The Bourne Identity - I really like that one, too! (Even though it's another exception since Damon isn't my "type")

Leeandra, that story about your mother was hysterical!! I can completely imagine why that will kill it for you. My own father looked rather like Joseph Cotten, so I'm safe on current movies.

Someone mentioned Frank Langella in Dracula. I've actually never seen that movie, but I love Langella. I'll have to Netflix it.

Agree with several folks who mentioned Age of Innocence and the wrist kiss. I almost included it on my list, but then thought it would strain some people's credulity that something that "innocent" could be erotic. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way (although some of the comments here suggest I might well have gotten flak for it!)

The Fab Baker Boys is interesting as I love love Bridges, and I like that movie, but to me, the Makin' Whoopee scene is from the male POV. Pfeiffer is putting on a show for men - ostensibly in the audience but (we as viewers know) mostly for Bridges' character. So I don't find it erotic. Now, if it were Bridges writhing around on top of the piano...! But I think that simple reversal shows how it's almost never done that way, from the female POV.

more recent Thomas Crown Affair - I agree it was great to see a post-40 hot romance and I enjoyed that movie a lot. But Brosnan is another one of those actors that doesn't flick my Bic, sexually (I talk about that in my "Bond Girl" post). I don't dislike him and I get why he's seen as attractive - he's just somehow not my type. I have the same issue with Clint Eastwood, even though I really liked Bridges of Madison County, which some other people named.

Reader Not Writer, I loved your addendum to the bra rule about Out of Sight - that stuff bugs me too!

Without a Paddle, thanks for telling me more about Y.E.S. - I'll have to rent that one, too, esp as I love Sam Neill!

October, I think that recently, there have been more films oriented towards a female audience - e.g. the Heigl vehicles. But you'll notice almost all of them are aimed at women under 35. I spoke especially of middle-aged women, who rarely get films aimed at them, much less films addressing their sexuality. One that I liked and didn't mention was "Something's Gotta Give" with Keaton and Nicholson. Also, I think that as you note, what's made is mostly romantic comedies, not films with real sexual zing to them. I think of them as "girly" films -- all squealing and wardrobe. I'm not into that, and neither are most middle-aged women!

Norville - ha!!

White Castle - yes! An erotic and lovely older woman - younger man movie, with both Sarandon and Spader in their prime.

Sandra, that's my fave line in Body Heat, too. And I agree, that women can and often are aggressive sexually, too. I think it's one of those splitting hairs things -- I thought they were just having a woman behave like a man vs. a woman behave aggressively...as an aggressive woman would. Same as women behaving like (imitating) hard-driving men in business vs. a woman behaving aggressively yet within the female style at work. Having worked many years in business, I've seen both and there is a difference. I don't know if I can explain it better than that.

Several folks mentioned Year of Living Dangerously. I almost included that one and then realized I didn't remember any one scene from it that was erotic. I need to watch it again!

Vicountess, I adore Austen and love several of the film adaptations. And moments such as you name are why. And then there's the famous Firth-Ehle Pride and Prejudice.

Sparky, thanks for your extended comment. I was curious when you said the female-created porn is even worse - I didn't quite get why but would like to know what you think.

I appreciate all the men who said they also want sex with context (both in art and life!), and find a lot of porn boring, too. I know that's true, but it's good to hear from the horse's mouth as it were....
More responses to comments....

Blue Roses, that's quite an intriguing series idea! My head's spinning a bit imagining Keaton in such a series.

Muttonjeff and Incandescent: I tried to make it clear this is just one woman's take (I wrote, "This list isn’t by any means comprehensive (even for me!), so I invite other women to share their own favorites in Comments.") and that it's all very idiosyncratic. I also specifically said that many women like porn. But IME, most feel as I do - they prefer something with more context, story, character dev etc. Quite a few men have weighed in here to say they do, too - and most men I know feel that way as well.

Brombonz, thanks for your long and very thoughtful comment! I am going to have to look into some of your suggestions, as I haven't seen all the movies you name. I also think you bring up a wonderful point about dance in movies, which I completely agree with. I'm a big fan of old musicals esp with Astaire and Kelly, and what they all do is turn sex into dance -- they express what today would take place in a sex scene (and even a love scene) through dancing with their female leads. and it's moving, beautiful and erotic.

Suzee, those 2 Sayles films are wonderful. You make me want to see them again. And I loved My Brilliant Career and agree there is a lot of electricity in that film, even if it goes unconsummated.

Montana, I saw a Walk on the Moon ages ago (before Viggo was Viggo, although I actually remember him from as far back as "Witness") but need to see it again.

I also need to see the Nicholson - Lange "Postman" again. It's brought up often in these types of discussions and I'm just not remembering it at all.
Wow, did you ever hit a nerve, girl?
This is excellent-- very comprehensive and very HAWT. Love the comments, too. Suzie, especially, with her love of the tempted priest thing. Hilarious.
I think all of my favs have been mentioned, here. The hair washing scene from "Out of Africa" makes me ache inside- I love it so.
And "Henry and June" sparked a fire between me and my boyfriend one night in 1996 and we were up all night. What a night!!!
Thanks, Silk. Fun stuff.
"Like white male Senators who assume that they operate in objective neutral reality while women and minorities have biases that affect and distort their judgment and actions..."

stopped and rated right there - clearest, most concise statement on that matter I've read
Wow - "Getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn’t as much fun" - thus stating that there was a moment it actually was FUN.
Great article, can't wait to the next one - dealing with PORN...
A man washing a woman's hair in the movies... can also be amazingly erotic. It works for me anyway. lol
I know I am a few days late on this but I have to agree with the Thomas Crown Affair. Rene Russo was simply the embodiment of everything I find sexy in a woman - smart, confident, determined, and not to mention hotter than Hell.

And there is a scene with Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello in A History of Violence. I know it's rough and aggressive, but damn is it hot. And she comes out on top.
Never too late for comments! thanks for these.

Yes on hair washing, either on screen or in real life. Feels great especially when the right fingers are involved....

GJI, I agree that A History of Violence has some hot scenes - I actually liked the one with the cheerleading outfit more than the one on the stairs. If I had thought of that, I would have included it.
I love Sarandon in Bull Durham. And I completely agree that it is one of the few movies that seems to treat the desires of both male and female characters as equally relevant.

Always glad to see a shout out for the Before Sunrise/Sunset duology. I adored the first one for years and was thrilled when they did the sequel and ended up with another great movie.

I'm not anti-porn. I have moods when I enjoy the hardcore stuff. But I also find a great deal of enjoyment in scenes like those discussed here or in movies such as "Chocolat" that project sensuality throughout.
Rated! Yay! I have to add Sylvestor Stallone's first kiss with Adrian in his apartment, as he convinces her he wants her. God, that is a hot kiss. Last time I ever found him attractive. He should've aimed to be a leading man rather than an action hero, altho admittedly he did pretty well in the action genre.
Oops - forgot to give the title in case anyone was sleeping thru the 80s: "Rocky".
Hi Silkstone (and everyone else),
Thanks for your stimulating article and comments. I recently wrote an article on women's porn and what turns us on for CarnalNation.com. Here is the address if you would like to read it: http://carnalnation.com/content/12324/615/shespot-penetrating-womens-porn.
Great post that I've actually been pondering for a few days now. For me the most erotic scene in film, hands down, is that moment in "Vertigo" when the newly made-over Kim Novak comes back to her apartment to a waiting Jimmy Stewart. "North by Northwest," with Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint is also a pretty sexy movie, and the same goes for "Rear Window." Turns out Alfred Hitchcock was the master of more than suspense, at least in my opinion, maybe because he knew an important secret: in sex, as well as violence, suggestion can be far more powerful than graphic depiction.
Laurel, great additions. I actually thought about Stewart in Vertigo when I made this list, but decided 2 Jimmy Stewarts in an erotic list would blow people's minds, so just went with the IAWL moment he has with Donna Reed.

I do think Vertigo even more than IAWL (which focuses on other matters thematically) shows him as an erotic being. Vertigo, after all, is about a man with an extreme sexual fetish! It's also considered perhaps Hitchcock's most personal and revealing film, a coded story about his own visual and erotic obsessions (from what I know from studying Hitch, that sounds about right).

If you ever get the chance to see Vertigo on the big screen, jump on it! It's a gorgeous film to see that way. I had the luck to see it twice when they re-released it, including after they'd done restoration on it. It was like a whole different experience vs. seeing it on a TV at home.
Women need protection and material resources to grow up children. Men need women. Women need children.

See that you always mention the name of the actor and not the name of the character, because the actor is rich, handsome and he knows how to act. And, of course, you dream of a man doing your housework. The second part is less important.

The only problem in this is the extremly low quality of porn on the net. Indeed, I, as a man, am frustrated by the complete lack of context in most of those videos. I also need a story, but a different one, maybe how they met, breaking taboos, whatever. Not housecleaning, sorry.

Wish you the best :)
Obviously late to this party. I loved your list and your post. Even though I just wrote that I do not watch TV, I did when my child was young. "Moonlighting" with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd was hot only because it took years of antipathy between them until they for finally kissed. Hot!

Others I loved, include most that you mention, but I agree about Damage, Juliet Binoche and Jeremey Irons, cannot get hotter than those two, even in a real tragedy. Loved Diane Lane with the sexy Brazilian--yeah he's a Brazilian. On the director 's cut of that film with Gere as husband, lost the name right now, Diane Lane says, "Making love with him was truly amazing." Also agree about "The Big Easy."

I'll add a relatively new indie film called "The Guitar" with Saffron Burrows. Sex heals her from cancer, a simplistic summary; fine explicitly erotic film. "English Patient" yes. The ending of "Before Sunset" : magical.

I will confess here that my second husband and I, when things were very hot spent a four day weekend watching porn. When that was over, I saw everyone on the streets of NYC in all those phallic orgasmic positions and vowed never to watch porn again, & never have. But during those 4 days, twas a fun experiment. Rated. Wonderful topic, most obviously. ps:

The tension, both sexual and otherwise, in "The Fabulous Baker Boys" led to to say, there should at least be a great masseuse in the lobby. Also, many french films by Oliver Assayes sp? And for me, wierd I know, everything with Mathieu Almaric including "Late August, Early Semptember."