Out of My Mind

The Musings of a Woman Who Thinks Too Much

Nelle Engoron

Nelle Engoron
Location
California,
Birthday
May 01
Bio
You can email me at "Nelle@NelleEngorondotcom" & follow @NelleEngoron on Twitter. I'm hosting a live radio show on Monday nights at 6:00 PM PDT to discuss this season of Mad Men. You can listen live (and call in to talk to me if you like) or download the broadcast afterward. For information, go to www.blogtalkradio.com/madmentalk **My "Mad Men" commentary for last season (Season 5) is on Salon rather than here -- go to http://www.salon.com/writer/ nelle_engoron/ to find all my Salon articles. **My book, "Mad Men Unmasked: Decoding Season 4," is available on Amazon in both e-book and print versions.** I'm a writer/editor/consultant who lives in the SF Bay Area. I write about all kinds of things, but am particularly intrigued by movies, relationships, gender issues, belief systems and "Mad Men." (Scroll down left sidebar for links to a selection of my blog posts.) I'm currently writing a novel about religious and romantic obsession and have completed a memoir, "Seeking," about my (successful) quest for love, which included personal ad dates with 200 men.

Nelle Engoron's Links

My articles on other sites
Movies, movies, movies
Mad Men writing on OS
A sampling of other blog posts
My book
Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 24, 2009 5:00AM

But She Hasn’t Got THAT (Mad Men Season 3, Episode 2)

Rate: 18 Flag
Peggy in bar
 
 
If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation. ~ Don

And…we’re back.  Back to the Mad Men we love, with an episode so packed with meaningful dialogue and densely woven themes that it’s hard to know where to start.  Aptly titled “Love Among the Ruins,” we see relationships and lives and cities decaying, but also new life and love struggling to arise.


Change is neither good nor bad;
it can be treated with either terror or joy. ~ Don

Following this season’s dominant theme, it’s “out with the old, in with the new” even as Paul laments that New York is a city that “has no memory.”  Neither does Betty’s elderly father, making him so unpleasant that his second wife leaves him and his adult children are fighting over what to do with him, before Don has mercy on his fellow war veteran and decides he should come live with the Drapers.

One thing I’ve learned from this: Don’t get old.
~ Bro-in-law William to Don

Then there’s the matter of Roger’s new wife, who his daughter doesn’t want at her wedding out of loyalty to Roger’s old wife. There’s also a new baby in Betty’s belly, which may account for the “foul mood” she finds herself in, ragging on Don for every little thing from his sooty topcoat to asking her the simple question “What do you want me to do?” and perhaps speaking as much about herself as the baby when she says, “She’s really kicking today.”

The plans…the plans…the plans you make.
~ Betty’s father to his children.

Most prominently of all, there are the new clients who want to tear down the old Penn Station to make way for the “new Madison Square Garden” – which only Don in his prescient manner foresees as a “new city on the hill” for New York, not to mention the beginning of 30 years of revenue for the agency that has the same vision he does – unfortunately, his own is now run by folks from the very old country of Britain, who are so myopic that they only foresee a paltry short-term revenue and so cut the clients loose.  And they say there’ll always be an England.

Most sweetly, there is the promise of new life in spring in the closing scene when Don and Betty watch their daughter dance around the Maypole, and a stiff and be-suited Don, observing the pretty young teacher dancing barefoot  with the kids, surreptitiously touches the fresh green grass with his hand, reaching for what he feels cut off from under the burden of his professional and marital duties, yearning for the newness that he touts to clients can be found in California, while “New York city is in decay.”  So is Sterling-Cooper, we can now clearly see, being so badly managed by the Brits that Don asks Price, “Why the hell did you buy us?” only to hear, “I don’t know.”

 
It’s sexy and it’s what they want.  ~ Don
Clients don’t always know what’s best. ~ Peggy


The second (and for me, far more compelling) element of the episode is the story of women.  We see Joan briefly but ominously, when she tells Betty that she’s glad to know you can be pregnant and keep trim as Betty has, because “Greg’s warned me that, come July, when he makes Chief Resident, I’d better watch out,” and we realize these are the last days of relative freedom for Joan, before she too is pregnant, dependent and stuck at home.

On her reluctant third time around, Betty appears to be feeling that constriction more than ever, but either her pregnancy or the events of last season have liberated her feelings, making the axiom that “depression is anger turned inward” come alive as she shakes off the lethargy of past seasons and gives Don hell over every little thing.

She’s throwing herself at the camera, it’s pure, it makes your heart hurt. ~ Don to Peggy

But it’s Peggy’s story that is the most heartbreaking part of the episode, showing both how far she’s come in her career and yet how left behind she still is.

We find out that even Roger has come to see Peggy’s value, albeit bundled into a left-handed compliment, as he prefaces a request for advice about his daughter with, “You’re the only one around here who doesn’t have that stupid look on your face.”  (Roger seems unaware of what this says about him, given he picked his second wife from the secretarial pool and continues to make googly-eyes at Joan.)

You know how this works.  ~ Don to Peggy

Peggy’s now so accustomed to and confident in her job that she and Don seem to have reached a near-telepathic level of communication, yet she still gets dissed by her male co-workers, who are too busy ogling Ann-Margret on film to listen to her input on how to sell diet soft drinks to women.  Even Sal (who couldn’t be more "out" to our contemporary eyes as he discusses his love of musical theater) compares a Broadway star to Ann-Margret by saying, “She doesn’t have THAT.”

“That” being the type of feminine sex appeal that smacks even a gay man in the face. "That" being the presentation that men seem to want from women, and what Peggy decidedly doesn’t have, at least to anyone but Pete so far.

You really haven’t seen it?  You see everything. ~ Peggy to Don

We expect no more (or no less) from the boys at the agency, so it’s Don that truly disappoints both us and Peggy, in a brief but rich and densely written scene of the two debating the use of  a “Bye Bye Birdie” as done by Ann-Margret rip-off to sell diet soda to women.  Peggy tries to explain that she “understands fantasy” in advertising but wonders why that fantasy can’t be from a woman’s point of view, and Don paints her the cold hard facts – that advertising is about showing a woman that men will want and thus women will want to be.  “I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable,” he says cuttingly.  (A near-cousin of the famous, “Don’t get emotional” put-down that all women have heard from men trying to pre-empt or negate their opinion.)

When Peggy tries an appeal to aesthetics, saying that if they were making a film, they’d never stoop to such a cheesy level, he appropriately sets her straight about her profession --“You’re not an artist.  You solve problems.” – before going one horrible step further, uttering words that every woman has heard in some form, countless times:  “Leave some tools in your tool box.”  In other words, be less than you are, or at least appear to be less than you are.  Play dumb.  That’s how to get what you want, how to succeed.

I work for a jerk. ~ Peggy to her clueless date.

It’s advice that Peggy seems to take to heart, as we see her enter a Brooklyn bar after work to pick up a man, stealing a quip of Joan’s to break the ice, only to have her own, far more clever jokes fly right over his greasy little head (“You’re funny,” he says, in that puzzled deadpan way that actually means, “You’re strange.”)  

This naïve Brooklyn boy physically resembles Pete Campbell and yet makes Pete seem a paragon of sophisticated intelligence, helping us understand what attracted Peggy to the seeming callow and callous guy in the first place, by showing us the outer borough boys that were her other choice. This one’s so unsophisticated he doesn’t even have a Trojan on him so they can have sex safely (of course, come to think of it, Pete apparently didn’t either), and upon hearing that Peggy works at an ad agency marvels at "how much typing you girls do.” 

We see Peggy pause before deciding not to correct him, clearly wanting to go home with someone that night, wanting someone to hold her, her earlier objection to an ad that she think portrays a woman as “I’m young and excited and desperate for a man” echoing in the viewer’s mind as the shadow self that the driven career-Peggy has been trying to evade.

We could do other things. ~ Peggy to her contraceptive-less date.

As heart-breaking as it is to see Peggy singing and posing like Ann-Margret before a mirror in her nightgown, trying out a persona that will never fit, or sadly washing out her “unmentionables” in the kitchen sink and hanging them up to dry at night like countless single career women before her, it’s nothing like the pain of watching her do the classic feminine downsizing in order to squeeze into the expectations of a man, so that she won’t scare him off.

Guess I’ll always care! ~ Ann Margret singing in Bye Bye Birdie

 


As a final note, I think this episode reveals the answer to the much-debated question of how Mad Men will handle the JFK assassination, when we find out that Roger’s daughter’s wedding is scheduled for the day after it will occur.  I predict that we’ll be at that wedding and see the impact of the assassination refracted in the reactions of the guests, fulfilling creator Matthew Weiner’s stated desire not to directly cover an event that has been done to death (pardon the pun) in the “where were you when you heard” vein, but instead reflect how it affected Americans and America afterward.


You’re an Army man.  Pull up your socks and grab something.
~ Don to his father-in-law

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
love how you weave in the quotes. Did you think Don touched the grass because he wanted to connect through the Earth with the proto-hippie teacher (how many episodes before THAT parent-teacher "interview"). She reminded me a bit of Midge.
Wonderful commentary; literally between-the-lines. And brilliant assessment of why the wedding is scheduled when it is. The layers in this show are so much easier to understand when we can read about them, and discuss, the day after.
I guess you've really committed yourself to this -- looks like you're going to be quite busy for the next few months! (And I will look forward to reading.)

Sometimes Peggy doesn't even seem of this world. She is definitely the most "mysterious" character on the show to me. Although I understand what she's dealing with, I don't always understand her choices.
Love the show and love your analysis. I shared Brian B's thoughts about the grass. Watching his version of Ann Margret dance around the maypole, he wanted to feel something real and connected the two.
Well Done! I am so hooked on this show.
I'm enjoying your analysis of the show and look forward to watching the rest of the season with you. I think your interpretation of everything is on target.

Peggy's description of Ann-Margaret's performance as a "twenty-five year old acting like a fourteen year old" was very apt. And yet, she was trying out the persona in front of her mirror. Peggy is constantly re-inventing herself; she has a lot in common with Don in that way.
Good analysis. A few other notes.

Don pitched his marketing concept for Madison Square Garden with the quasi-Robert Moses character by describing "change" as a "dance with joy."

Patio was a short-lived soda when it premiered in 1963. It's marketing slogan? "Patio: Dances with flavor."

Don's fingertips brushing the grass evidently wasn't just about his personal desire for liberation from a life he feels closing in around him, it will crop up in the new ad campaign. And Peggy will win their tussle because Patio marketed itself with an appeal to feminine athleticism, not trite sex kitten mewling.

Personally, I've never liked Betty Draper and as time wears on, that only grows. Her resentment of her children is so up front now that I pity them and her entitled princess 'tude is tedious at best.
Your analysis is wonderful, so much better than the show. This season we are so unhooked.
Thanks for all the comments! I have to say, this episode was hard to get my arms around, there was so much I could have said about it and I barely recapped parts of it. I had 2+ pages of quotes that I typed on my laptop while watching it to work with-- I left a lot of great ones out, including some you all have cited. (I really wanted to work in Don's "Everyone wants a drink that sounds like a floor covering" but just couldn't find the place!)

As it was, I was up till nearly 2 AM trying to work this into something readable - I had such a cascade of reactions, which is what tells me this show is "back" in its usual richness. I feel a bit bad about giving such short shrift to the Betty's father storyline, which I found poignant but not as compelling as Peggy's. But I think we're mostly seeing set-up for more to come with him living in their home, so I feel certain I'll have another episode to delve into that. Having cared for my aging and dying parents, I think they're dealing very sensitively with great material. When he's told that they've all decided for him that he'll live with Betty and Don and he says the line about "the plans you make" almost under his breath -- well, I could have written a whole essay about that. (And probably will later in the season!)

On to specific comments...

Brian, thanks! I worried I was being a bit heavy-handed with the quotes but there are so many great ones in a typical episode, and they are often so brilliantly constructed to reveal the themes and character motivations as well as being quite funny or even profound all on their own, that I can't stop myself from quoting. And yes, I think there was also an element of earth-touching -- similar to Don's naked swim in the Pacific at end of S2. I think that is a suggestion of what's to come in the 60's for many people - -it remains to be seen whether the buttoned-up Don can be unleashed during that cultural wave. He was both drawn to and contemptuous of the bohos he hung out with in Midge's world -and yes, I thought the teacher resembled her, too. (In short, that scene alone shows how rich MM is -- there are about 7 different things to talk about and reflect on, including connections to past episodes and possible future events)

Lea, thanks! As is generally true, I understand more as I write about it. Blogging this right after is a bit of a challenge as I'm still digesting it. Last season, I had some of my best insights about 2 days after the episode aired. So you guys are going to get top of my head stuff this year....

Jeanette, yes, I'm going to try to blog after each show. (I made brownies last nite to sustain myself.) It's funny you say you find Peggy mysterious -- I find her nearly as transparent as glass, because I feel such increasing kinship to her. I could have written just about her storyline last nite, in much more detail, and with a lot of reference to my own experiences with dating, men etc. And I think she and I share some personality traits, including a pronounced inwardness, which is probably what makes her hard to read -- unless you feel as much like her as I do in so many ways. (We also have some differences, I'll note.)

Lisa and Redstocking, thanks!

Suz, oh yes, that quote about "25 acting 14" is one I wanted to work in and really should have. It really sums up the theme of women having to diminish themselves to attract men -- and often even to succeed at work in a professional job, sadly enough (when you would think the opposite would be true at least there).

Kevin, your historical insights are really appreciated!! I felt a bit handicapped as I'm not a NYer and was sure there was stuff that I was missing. If I'd had time and energy late last nite, I would have researched the Penn Station deal as my memory is that Jackie Kennedy actually had a hand in saving and restoring it. But I might be thinking of Grand Central. In any case, that would have been another juicy cross-linking within the story.

I'm a bit floored (ha!) to hear Patio was a real drink. I thought that one was made up. Loved to hear what it was and how it was marketed. Can I ask where you got that info? Might be a source I could use in recapping. re: Don and the grass. Matthew Weiner has said that this season is all about Don's bare feet (shown in the first shot of Ep 1). So I was not so surprised to see the grass scene. And I'm with you on Betty -- I said less about her storyline because frankly she was wearing me out. (Another essay I could have written about this ep would have been about how Betty was channeling my mother, while Peggy was channeling me.)

Karin, I agree about Peggy's storyline being similar to many many women's. That's what's heartbreaking about it, I think. And I do applaud the creator and writers for delving into what is an often little-discussed part of female experience. And I think they're really going to go deeply into it this season, from what I can tell.

As for Betty, I have intellectual sympathy for her, but as noted above, not having lived her life (which was also my mother's life to a large degree) I don't resonate emotionally with her the way I do with Peggy. As for the drinking and smoking, my mother did that through 4 pregnancies and we all turned out fine. Most of Baby Boomers were exposed like that in utero, as most women smoked and drank as Betty and the other women do on the show in that era (and as you see how stultifying their lives are, you can understand why), and there have been no widespread generational birth defects. I'm not endorsing it -- far from it, esp smoking which killed both my parents and I detest -- but I think people now see scenes like that as akin to a mother shooting up heroin when the evidence of my generation is that it did far less damage than people would imagine. So it doesn't horrify me at all to see it the way I thin it does people who are younger.
Wikipedia, my dear. Wikipedia.
Excellent commentary! I'm always on the lookout for online deconstructions after a new MM episode, because I know there's probably much I've missed the first time round with regards to seeing "between the lines" and thematic touches. Thanks for mentioning the wedding taking place the day after the JFK assassination ... I kinda wondered why Roger kept repeating the date and the close-up focus on the invitation itself (yes, it was before my time so that date escapes me).

Loved the scene where Don spins his magic on the huffy Madison Square Garden client and you can just see the thinly veiled admiration Roger has for Don as he glances at him, realizing he just saved another account with his astute, insightful analysis of old vs. new New York and changing with the times (and probably realizing his own good-for-nothingness at the company he founded, then of course shrugging indifferently anyway).

I kept pausing and rewinding just to hear that amazing dialogue about the concept of change over again, and committing it to memory.

Great quotes you pulled out too ... keep it coming!
OK, I did what I was too tired to do last nite and looked up the history of the Penn Station demolition on Wikipedia. The heart-breaking details are here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania_Station_(New_York_City)#Original_structure_.281910.E2.80.931963.29

There are many lines in that entry that resonate with themes in MM, showing why it's a rich choice of a subject for the show. I thought this one echoed the changes happening and soon-to-come for men like Don and Roger:

"Comparing the new and the old Penn Station, renowned Yale architectural historian Vincent Scully once wrote, “One entered the city like a god; one scuttles in now like a rat.”"

and that this quote may sum up the entire series, especially one about the business of selling:

"As a New York Times editorial critical of the demolition noted at the time, a “civilization gets what it wants, is willing to pay for, and ultimately deserves”."
Kevin, ha! and here I was on Wiki myself researching Penn station just as you made that comment. Synchronicity. I wasn't sure if you had some more specialized source than that.

Scheherazade, thanks! yes, I found the dialogue when Roger shows up for lunch late and Don basically tells him that he does nothing to be quite funny. It reminded me of that famous quote about retirement, "You have nothing to do all day long and at the end of the day, you're about half done." As far as I can tell, we've never seen Roger do a lick of real work on this show, although he sometimes shmoozes the clients in a charming manner. Other times, of course, he just vomits in front of them.
And needless to say, I was confusing Penn Station (which was demolished) with Grand Central, which was saved and restored. That's what I get for not being a New Yorker. The Wiki article indicates Penn station's demolition was a major impetus for the architectural preservation movement that sprang up right after it, as many old buildings were being destroyed in the pursuit of the "modern" in that era. Another interesting thematic resonance for MM....
Silkstone, it is weird that I find Peggy so baffling. I'm certainly a pronounced introvert, but I just can't get a handle on her. Don, on the other hand, who I guess is supposed to be the mysterious one - his motivations and actions seem pretty predictable in context of the times.

Fountains of Wayne has a great song about single girls working in New York - makes me think of Peggy andhas a Penn Station reference:

Check out the girl in the harbor tunnel
Crawling to work six feet under
And the day has barely begun
The're all chewing gum

And laughing at the voice on the crackling radio station
Lead us not into Penn Station
Cause the best part's just begun
We're all becoming one again

And she's making the scene
With the coffee and cream
And the copy machine's not working
She's a hell of a girl
She's alone in the world
And she likes to say hey good lookin
She's on her way
She's taking a sick day..soon

And here is the man pushing paper past her
Thinks up ways to make the day go faster
But the day goes on and on
He daydreams of his lawn
And all about the pretty careerist the next cube over
The fat secretary, the lunchtime lovers
Til the path train finally comes
The platform's full of bums again

And she's making the scene
With the coffee and cream
And the copy machine's not working
She's a hell of a girl
She's alone in the world
And she likes to say hey good lookin
She's on her way
She's taking a sick day..soon

And she's taking her time
As she's tossing a dime
At the man in the cardboard coffin
It doesn't have to be fine
She's ahead of the line
And doesn't have to be here too often
She's making a play
She's taking a sick day..soon

I think they should use it for the closing credits sometime...
Good, nuanced review of the episode. I don't expect there to be much grieving at the wedding, since (if I remember correctly) Roger Sterling was a Nixon man. I recall some initial reactions of open celebration in Republican households. (The country was as partisan then as it is today.) So if Weiner is true to the time he will show the gallows humor.
I just finished watching the episode and love the way your commentary speaks to the show's sad vein. You're really good at this. Thanks.
Scheherezade and Silkstone,
Roger Sterling has a cavalier attitude about the business (and doesn't appear to take it seriously or work very much) because he inherited his share from his father, who was likely a contemporary of Bert Cooper. He seemed quite bemused last season when he pointed out to someone, "that's my name on the building!" as if the whole thing was a big joke.
Thanks outerbanx ... I did wonder why he appeared to be just a tad too cavalier about his own (I guess inherited) company, and how easily he was able to sell it to the Brits, with little or no qualms.

I thought that scene where Don chews out the Brit and growls, "why the hell did you buy us?!" was great foreshadowing for darker developments to come re the merger.
Wonderful analysis--

random thoughts: I think Don may end up in Calif--if I can speculate that far ahead...it seemed to open something up in him, and I saw that touching of the grass (and no, I am not thinking Haight Ashbury) as a kind of reference to that--for Don and us...

Peggy is still caught between her Catholic past (Fr. Gill et al.) and her burgeoning sense of self, self worth, intelligence, independence, creativity and her doubts about her own attractiveness, her future (remember her comments to Joan about fiance)--she is throwing herself headlong into a sexual situation to make a break from past, to validate herself in some way, but she feels some shame and guilt--hope she finds a way to shake that Catholic guilt and discover a man who values her...(not Pete!)...
No, Don was going to his "happy place," just like he had told Betty to when he was helping her get to sleep: "You're at the beach. You reach down to that dark, cool spot under your seat ..."
Not that Don's happy place wouldn't have been with the barefoot teacher ...
Good post - very insightful commentary. thx.
This is a very well-written, insightful review...keep 'em coming!

But Don got it slightly wrong in the last quote there...ahem...it should be "Drop your cocks and grab your socks"...a NAVY "wake-up" admonition, that has made it to the other military branches.

So Don inverts it...and of course fudges the last part because you can't say "cocks" on AMC...or in 1963! (I'm a poet and don't know it, eh?)
Great analysis.

@ yekdeli - ty for explaining Don's sock remark. I was puzzled by it.
Nicely done! I really admire the way you did this recap, and you brought some things to light that I hadn't really noticed, or articulated.
It's funny that in the show it shows people drinking and smoking. Eating red meat, potatoes with butter (real butter) and don't forget the bacon and cheese burgers. Yet, not only did the post war generation survive it became one of the longest living generations in history. If second hand smoke kills then we should all be dead. I grew up, as well as my playmates in a haze of smoke. My parents even smoked in the car with and without the AC on.

When I started my first agency job, they issued you a pack of legal pads, yellow pencils, a coffee cup and an ash tray for your desk. We did not have alcohol flowing freely as portrayed on Mad Men, but no one turned a head if someone has a drink during lunch.

It was a time of personal responsibility and the majority understood that if you screwed up you took the blame not society not your parents not the school system.

I have no problem returning to those ideas minus the racism and sexism. It was not all bad.
Jeanette, I don't know FofW's music, so thanks for that song -- it is very appropriate!

Runaway, ooh, that's interesting. I hadn't thought about it but I think you're right and it would also make for less typical coverage of that event. IIRC, Roger in particular looked down on JFK. Which is funny as he's kinda like him - rich, entitled, skirt-chaser, etc.

Mary, I see Peggy much as you do as well. I'm finding her struggle very compelling to watch, including because I felt some of those same tensions in my 20's.

Kay, I hadn't picked up on or remembered that. What a great catch -- you have an astounding memory!

Aska, Yek and Brie - thanks!

Yek, I was guessing what that full quote was and thought it was something like that but didn't know. Of course, since Gene was going to bed, not getting up, then reversing it makes sense, no? anyway, thanks for sharing that bit of translation.

Stellaa, I feel a bit sad that Don can't drop out as well. But then he'd be deserting 2 kids and a pregnant wife. Not very honorable, especially since she'd have trouble getting a job that pays enough to support all of them.

MTodd, my parents also did everything wrong -- smoked, drank, ate tons of red meat (etc), never exercised, and still lived into their 80's. It was the smoking that killed them-- if they'd done everything else but not smoked, they'd probably have lived into their 90's at least. Elayne Boosler had a funny routine years ago about her parents being that old and going strong after doing all that stuff, too, and here their children are eating oat bran and are miserable and have health problems. Something doesn't quite add up....

And I also remember being around a lot of smokers at work. It was a great thing when they started segregating by smoking or non at work and even better when it had to move outside. Hard to believe how much smoke we all sucked down, even those of us who didn't smoke.
Aim, undertow and outerbanx -- sorry, I meant to thank you for your comments, too!
I enjoyed the recap. I normally read my recaps from TWoP, but I'll definitely be back. I also enjoyed the quotes interwoven through the piece. And it was all the memorable ones, too.
The reader comments about Betty have gotten me thinking. It's true, she's not a likable character. But I think she has some healthy reasons for being unhappy. Her husband cheats, her beloved mother is dead, and now her father is slowly dying in front of her. She thought life was going to be just as daddy promised, because she came from a respectable family and she was soooo pretty. It must all be a disappointment.

But her relationship with her children is starting to make sense. She IS a princess. And the children distract from that. They take up all of her time, and Don is never around to help. (Then again, what else is new? A great many families experience that dynamic to this day, even if the mother also takes on a fulltime job.) Life is not as she had hoped, and she's taking it out on her children.

I think it's brave that the creators of Mad Men have chosen this portrayal. We don't get many flawed mothers like Betty on television. They've chosen the real over the prefabricated, and that's respectable. (Although my mother was never a princess, she resembles Betty in demeanor and attitude in regards to children.)
Drink, I'm flattered to be compared to TWOP - thanks. My mother resembled Betty in some ways, too, but definitely not the princess part, either. But the almost ironic distance from her children, the implied regret over losing the freedom and glamor of her single life - that all rings a familial bell for me.

And I agree that it's brave to portray such a mother on TV -- not a shrew or abusive, but just a woman who in many ways would be happier if she didn't have kids, and could lead a more exciting life. But there were few options like that for women in those days. Other than marrying a wealthier man and having a fuller social life, a woman like Betty didn't really have any other options. She was a model, and had no acting or other talents to rise above that. Few women could do what Peggy is doing and Betty doesn't have those talents. Basically she was raised to do what she did: bag a handsome husband who made a good living. And it would seem she's done very well in that respect. I think the beauty of the series and her storyline is that it's become apparent that having everything you think you wanted doesn't always make you happy.

I think the intriguing question is...what would make Betty happy? I don't know and I don't think she does either. Same was true for many women in that era -- not that it doesn't happen now as well!
After writing that comment, I realize that it gives new meaning to the quote I pulled from this episode for the title of this posting: Betty doesn't have "that" either -- but in her case, the "that" is the satisfaction from having a purpose in life that uses her talents and engages her interests. Peggy has that, but not the "that" of sex appeal and the resulting relationship with a man that Betty has. Neither is satisfied, and they are yin to each other's yang in the show, although not in some schematic obvious way.
Silver, Not that smoking is anywhere close to a good habit, but it's health risks are more political than science. Your parents lived into their 80s doing everything that was normal then and is considered bad now. Fact is they lived beyond the normal life span.

My grandfather retired early and quit smoking at 55, my grandmother didn't. They ate the same diet and he died at 83 and she outlived him 5 years and died at 84. He was lean and active and my grandmother considered bridge a sport. Once you reach 65 something is going to kill 95% of the people within the next 10 to 20 years.
Just stumbled onto this - a great find. After watching an episode of MM, I am often left feeling that a whole lot happened between the lines that i can't quite put my finger on and need to reflect about. I really enjoyed this analysis and the comments.
My own two cents: definitely caught the date on the wedding invite as I was 10 went JFK was assassinated and can still wind up in tears about it. For me, the deaths of JFK, MLK and RFK in one decade wiped out a spirit of hope in my generation.
As far as Bette and Don, I empathize with Bette in that she is everybit as much boxed in as Don and there is no avenue for them to talk about how trapped they feel and each is totally insensitive to the other's frustration.
As far as the smoking and drinking while pregnant - all the women did that when I was growing up. My mother had 11 healthy children.
I look forward to following this discussion each week.
I know I'm behind the curve here, comment-wise, but I just found your blog.

So anyway, *thank you* for explaining some of this stuff. The whole sub-plot involving Peggy *completely* baffled me (probably because I'm, ya know, a *guy*). "Why is she dancing like Ann-Margaret?" "Why is she picking up a callow dweeb at a bar?" "Why are they showing us a clip of her washing her clothes in the sink? To show us she doesn't have a washing machine? Why is *that* important?" "Did they *do* the other things, or is Peggy going to get pregnant *again*?" Etc. My feeling when the episode ended was, essentially, "*What* the heck was *that* all about?"

The male characters I have more of a grip on (except for Roger--being two generations removed from me, he simply baffles me). But Peggy? She confuses the heck out of me all the time.
Hey, Douglas, glad I could be of help!! I do think we need gender-translators at times (my partner helped me understand some of Inglourious Basterds just this week!) as well as cross-cultural ones.

Teresa, oh, I get how very trapped Betty is -- far more than Don. I get that but I'm just starting to get a bead on why I don't feel more sympathetic for her despite seeing how boxed she is by social constraints etc. I'll post about it when I have it clearer.