Sirenita Lake

Sirenita Lake
San Francisco, California,
November 04
I am married in a committed, open relationship that is the anchor of my life. I'm a former high school English teacher, former software technical writer, and graduate of the late, great public interest law school, New College of California School of Law. I'm now on permanent disability from conditions that have finally eased up enough for me to begin exploring the world, at least that part which I can access emotionally, with the recklessness of a teenager. An important part of my life remains my work as a counselor for tenants with legal problems. The rest of the time, I indulge in outrageous adventures in sex and love, which I occasionally write about.


Sirenita Lake's Links

Editor’s Pick
JULY 23, 2009 3:20PM

Craigslist Guys

Rate: 68 Flag

My heart was not broken. The blunt force trauma, however, left severe lacerations and contusions. It was in the blue and purple stage of bruising, when touch is painful. I didn’t want to let it stiffen up, so I decided to give it some mild exercise. Nothing too rough. I’m getting old and can’t take it anymore.

I put an ad in craigslist, in the “casual encounters” section, there with the spambots whose ads claim they are 19, hot and horny. I wondered about the poor spambots and what must be their perpetual frustration. Do their programmers want email addresses, hoping to bombard responders with links to pornographic web sites in hope that the fish will give up their credit card information? Good luck. Nobody gives their right email on craigslist. Craigslist guys are very careful. If I were a spambot, I would be consoling myself with the thought that somebody falls for the Nigerian scams, too, and I just might get lucky. 

My ad gave my age up front. No spambot claims to be 57. The ad said I was married, in an open relationship. That anyone brave enough to check out someone my age might be pleasantly surprised. It said I didn’t care about looks and it was ok to be a bit overweight, but wanted someone around my age. Not that I would turn anyone down for being too young or too old. I was not judgmental and a little fumbling around because we were new and nervous was no problem. I might just be willing to try that kinky thing your last girlfriend refused to consider. I said all that. I was in the mood for telling the truth. I had no idea what would happen, although I thought wistfully that perhaps I should have been a 19 year old horny spambot if I wanted any responses.

My ad was up for an hour and 15 minutes one Saturday morning. I took it down because I decided 30 guys were enough to choose among. The spambots were all like, “What, her?” A couple of emails moved me to reply and explain why we weren’t suited. I wasn’t looking for anyone to bring me breakfast in bed with a rose in a bud vase. I’m no cougar, and I think you’re sweet, but I’m really looking for a guy over 40, or at least over 30. I rejected anyone offering romance. I did not want love. I was looking for a sex cure. A one night stand is good. A couple of dates, max. 

I selected my candidates based on minimum literacy and what glimpse I could get of their emotional stability and generosity. I looked for directness without pornographic flourishes and an indication of sexual range. I wanted a confident guy, even a dominant guy. I was ready to go on someone else’s ride. I wanted to keep me out of it as much as possible. 

Borrowing a principle from infertility treatment, I selected six replies to fertilize, in the hope that one or two would take. Ron was smart and verbal (he was a salesman) and showed the requisite eagerness. The most attractive thing a guy can be is enthusiastic. Paul, 20 years younger, charmingly said his new kink was older women. Leo had a sense of humor (he’s a professional comic) and lived in my neighborhood, a huge plus.

Doug sounded like a grown up, and in fact, ran his own tech company. Blue had a motorcycle, which moved him to the top of the list. Carl should have been rejected immediately. He wanted to tie me up and pretend to rape me. He proposed this so solemnly and gently—but not tentatively—that he got my attention. I wanted distraction and in my emotional state, the edge of the cliff was more comfortable than the middle of the road. 

Ron was cagy and seemed taken aback by the idea that he had to “host,” that is, provide a place to have sex, but he continued to push for a meeting. As a craigslist novice, I was about to witness the approach-avoidance behavior of prospective dates. Some guys are genuinely afraid of the encounter and perhaps of being stalked, and Ron was positively paranoid. He made a date and cancelled at the last minute. When I replied to commiserate over his sudden flu, I found he had closed his fake email account. 

That made me curious. Was he a wierdo? Someone with a high profile? I googled the name he gave, expecting to come up empty. I had to laugh—I was able to learn where he worked and his company web site had his picture on it. It was him, but older. That was also my introduction to men using pictures from ten years ago. It’s a good thing I have guts, because I’m very ignorant of how this game is played. 

Paul was good for a few emails but never committed to a date. I was really starting to like him. I particularly admired him for googling me, as I also didn’t have enough sense to create a new pseudonym. I like to imagine that he got back together with his girlfriend or met someone new in the flesh and fell in love. Paul, thanks for reading and for your praise and I hope you’re having fun. 

Doug did the tapering-off thing. Lots of enthusiasm at first, then didn’t answer when we were negotiating dates. Tried him a week later, and he was enthusiastic once more and then dropped off the map. I didn’t take it personally. I was getting a sense of the difficulty that these guys faced organizing a sexual encounter in the context of their mainstream lives. Craigslist guys come from the real world, not the nutrient bubble that is San Francisco’s art/tech/sex community. They face different issues than I do. 

Leo’s life is most recognizable to me. He is a comic, a good one, but poor like most people who live from their art. We met at a cafe and watched some young comics try their turn at the mike with varying degrees of competence. I found it sweet that he mentored those young guys and supported their aspirations. I wonder how many of those youths would hang on to their dreams of performance into their fifties, despite the struggle and the poverty. There was something special about Leo and I think I would like him to be a real friend or at least an acquaintance. He lives near me and is, bless him, divorced. 

Carl has kept up a correspondence and I’ve slowly come to trust him. I’ve written bondage fantasies and emailed them to him. I think of it as an exercise in writing erotica, which I had never tried. My small audience likes my efforts. I have developed some rules for my erotic emails, such as avoiding terms you expect to find in porn and describing an emotional as well as physical experience. I avoid girlish or flowery language. My blunt style of smut pleases me as well as Carl. 

That’s one more thing I’ve learned: I have an advantage in internet affairs. I write better than a 19-year-old pornbot. My emails to Carl are confessional as well as seductive. I’m stripping the skin off myself deliberately, before someone else can do it and then leave me suddenly, violently. Carl and I will meet one day. If we don’t, we will have had an affair anyway. 

But what am I going to do about Blue? No one has pursued me this hard since I was in college, and that was Eduardo, “El Loco,” who turned out to be a psychopath. I’ve waited vainly for Blue to reveal that he is crazy. We emailed for weeks and have met twice. I’m afraid he’s just a very determined guy. He’s also attractive, successful, seriously healthy, and even, God help me, slender. He takes me on motorcycle rides, which I find thrilling. He’s as sensitive as Alan Alda and as nasty as I am. He says, “I want to hold your heart in my hands.”

Nooooo!!! My heart just got out of intensive care. It’s still using a cane. It’s not ready to vault fences and bound up stairs. Blue is challenging it to race. Can I possibly be so heedless, so reckless, as to accept that challenge? 

My limping heart picks up its pace. 

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craigslist, men, women, sex, free pussy, love, risk

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Craig's List... you are a brave soul. Your sense of adventure amazes me; I wish I still rode motorcycles. Email erotica... comedians... a limping heart. How I admire your spirit. rAted!
I. Love. This. Piece.

Maybe Blue isn't crazy! MAYBE! I have all of my fingers crossed for you and did I mention that I love this piece?

Have fun out there! Have soooooooo much fun!
Oh, and one favor? Can you maybe screen one for me? Please?

Have fun!
I tried to sell a set of snow tires on Craigslist and just felt glad when the real buyer showed up that he didn't have steak knife hidden in his sleeve to jam through my heart.
You seem more optimistic.
Mr. M, I wish you still rode motorcycles, too ;-)

And yet, it's amazing, the quality of guys who read craigslist ads. Something for everybody.
Brave soul, you. Admiration.
Aka, believe me, I thought of that. But you really can tell a lot about a guy from his erotic emails.
Whoever said "brave" totally nailed it. You are easily one of the bravest people I know, surely the most articulate, and in away the story you tell has both pathos and a lot of humor. Anyone of "a certain age" has to wonder who mother ship dropped them off in a territory usually inhabited by the forever cute and young. Cute we may be but young happened some weeks ago....
A friend of mine (no really, it's not me) is having a good time on Craig's list as well :) enjoy, both of you, life is short
I met my wife via Craigslist. Our 4th anniversary is next month. And it was in casual encounters too--but there was nothing casual about it.
Fascinating - I love that you're doing this, and writing about it, and I'm wishing you success - may you find the right combination you need!
Yes, you can. You're pretty amazing, I think.

"I wanted to keep me out of it as much as possible. " I know how that feels.

"the edge of the cliff was more comfortable than the middle of the road" ....that too
You know, I thought I was an adventurous guy, but you're breathing rare air, Serenita. I imagine it's intoxicating in the best of ways...
Ken, lol. How in the hell *did* I get here?

Julie, I'm glad to hear about your friend and thanks for giving this adventure your blessing!

Walter, there you go, your adventurousness was greatly rewarded. You never know what you will find until you look.
I would guess you need intuition for this to work. And courage. You have both. I love the way you seem to grab this on your terms, defying norms in many ways.
Owl, thank you!

Sandra, you're far more amazing. I take risks instead of accomplishing stuff.

Lonnie, I bet adventure finds you.

Lea, thank you. I think you're right, you need intuition, which is what you get after you've had a lot of experience and can predict how people will behave. You need to know just how much to suspend judgment.
I love your writing and your bravery, which quite frankly, makes me nervous. Not for seem incredibly competent and intuitive, but your story is about something of which I have no experience, so it is a foreign world of which you write. The closest I have come is to "meeting" my husband at a local bar where we pretended we didn't know one another. It was one of the more sensual fun times we've had among many. Thanks for sharing this.
WOW. I admire someone who can be bold enough to go after what they want. Hope you find the one...or two...
I wish I had the nerve. But I don't.
I'm back...

You can learn so much about someone through their writing, obviously. How soon they want to meet, or not. How much they want to know about you, or not. How they talk about past lovers, or not. When they are available to write and correspond, or not. There is much to glean safely behind the screen. And then... well, and then.

Did I mention, have fun?
big smile

sounds exciting
Mary, that sounds like total fun. Maybe I'll suggest to my husband that he pick me up at a bar.

Buffy, thank you. I'm polyamorous, so at least 2 ;-)

Zuma, it takes nerve or just feeling that you have nothing to lose. At my age, there is less and less to lose.

And yet, all true. You could write the manual. Perhaps we should collaborate.
Oh, man, Roy, it is!
So, now I know where to get my motorcycle ride. Advert on Craigslist.
Sirenita, you know you are my hero. I wish I had met you a few years earlier.
I've gotten a good job, bought respectable Arts & Crafts antiques there and sold a few things, so I can tell you I have some Craigslist experience, but I'm telling you, you are brave.
Forgive me for saying your blog reminds me of a "monkey" but hear me out: have you read up on bonobos? They are a close relative to chimps, but very different from chimps--and us. They LOVE sexual stimulation. Plain-old, same-sex, young/old, fruits & vegetables. I'm not sure how this relates to their sexuality--but the females are the status holders. A male's status is a function of his mother's status. When she dies, he drops in status.
Some scientists put out a lot of sugar cane in a field and waited to see who'd come. They heard hooting from opposite directions and feared a blood-bath because chimps actually attack and kill each other. But! They were bonobos. The two troops reached the clearing and stared at each other. Then the senior females from each side met in the middle and had some hukahuka. Then everybody "hooked up" and then enjoyed the sugar cane.
I mention all this because I wonder what would happen if the human female were anywhere near as generous as the female bonobo--and as you seem to be. Less violence? Less male craziness? More mellowness globally?
But the barrier to this is the human male. We are possessive of our females. I think the biggest barrier is that status among humans is primarily a male concern. And if a male is rejected or ridiculed by a female, and loses status, he gets violent. Dang. "Imagine!"
Life, there are motorcycle rides and more on craigslist!

Cindy, I have the morals of a cat myself, so it's disturbing to hear that your cat could not manage a no strings attached fling.

Susanne, it's all on craigslist, isn't it?

KennewickMan, I love bonobos! They are a model for us humans. I don't think it's inevitable that men be possessive. My husband isn't, and neither is my new friend Blue.
had to sign in just to tell you how much i loved this!
I so appreciate your honesty and straightforwardness! You're also extremely gutsy. You're someone I'd love to meet and spend some time with simply because....
a great great piece, love, as yours always are. you are clearly not only adventurous but lovely and sexy and very loveable to elicit all of this determined attention. wow. i love that you're paring yourself down to the bone because i sense that that way you will either find a true psychopath or a really great and sexy companion. as for falling in love again??? baby steps, girl. baby steps. you took a beating this last time. of course i'm very excigted about the comedian, a person after my own heart, but i'm biased. love love love
Yes, you can accept the challenge. More than just Blue's challenge but the challenge that ANY craigslist connections work ever! I'm impressed by your winning stats, frankly. Not bad for one hour of posting!

I think posting on CL is fun. As long as you keep some anonymity, you can play safely. We are consenting adults after all. We can figure out how to meet someone safely and sanely.

With that said, it's a real crap shoot.

Jolly good job. Blue for the blues!
You got me with that first paragraph and didn't let go till the end. I'm impressed by both your honesty and your eloquence. I must tell you I have a 50-year-old friend (still quite attractive, in a very wholesome way) who has a regular sex partner she met on Craigslist and it's worked out great for her. She's single, with no long term prospects in sight at the moment, and decided she wanted to have at least one last hurrah before menopause. Good luck. I suspect you may get a few more applicants after putting up this post!
I dated through the ads for 10 years - to find love, not just sex - but this still brought back a lot of memories. It's a roller coaster in many ways.
You put an ad on CL and didn't email me? That's all you had to do.

I host
I show up
I leave
I D&D free

I met my wife on Adult Friends Finder.

Drop me a line.
All the best to you, honey as you do this. Find fun. Find sensory overload. Find all the crazy places in your soul. Find everything you want.
bahHMMblog, I love your screen name! Thanks for commenting.

patricia, that would be terrific.

Teddy, baby steps, gotcha!

Beth, it is a total crap shoot, but so's marriage, so what have you got to lose?

Laurel, tell your friend to wait until the "menopause hots" hit. She'll be glad of her craigslist skills.

Silkstone, I'm beginning to see that you find what you find, whatever you think you're looking for.

Catnlion, sorry! My bad. Adult Friends Finder, huh?
Liz, you totally get it. Thank you.
Well written and very interesting
Craigslist. I haven't tried that one before. I wish you all the luck in finding what you want. Great post.
great post, probably great woman. thanks for sharing an interesting and interested bit of your life.

stay away from the motocycliste, they are even less reliable than sailors.

I recently met a much older guy on Craigslist, also in Casual Encounters and we had some very hot phone sex where I was the submissive... Then he dropped off the face of the earth. It was fun while it lasted!
but don't stay away from SAILBOATS!
You are one brave lady. Good luck, and thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Gwool, thank you!

fireeyes, you should try it. You

al loomis, unreliable is what I'm going for. You wouldn't happen to ride a motorcycle, would you?

CW, there's more where he came from.

Sailor Boy, I *love* sailboats.

Trudge, I had to do something, you weren't available...;-)
I did some "research" on craigslist for a column once - and was horrified by the number of responses I got plus all the disgusting photos and videos that came in. I felt like the people were looking right through my computer screen and could see me even though I was virtually invisible. I got creeped out and pulled the ad within hours. I wasn't in the casual encounters section. Nice post!
Sirenita, I am flattered. If I were available, you would have ended you search: "At Last" is the name of dat tune. lol
Beth, yeah, there are things that are inappropriate even for a sex ad. I got the photos of guys' dicks and long descriptions of what they were going to do to me. Anyone that crass didn't get an answer. Didn't bother me at all. I suppose at one time, it would have.

Trudge, had to go find that song and play it in the background. Etta James version.
Risky business...But with an open relationship you're playing with house money. So what the heck........ go for it!...You've got nothing to loose but a little screen time.......
Sirenita...I'm worried about your really had me at that....excellent post...well done. xox
there are a lot of things i like about this story, that it is honest and real and that it is so well written, I especially love the last two paragraphs but the last couple of lines; "Can I possibly be so heedless, so reckless, as to accept that challenge?
My limping heart picks up the pace" That could be a great guiding principle for many.

You are a woman who does things her way in all aspects of her life,
at some point in life (if we are lucky) we begin to realize that by taking chances we don't really have a lot to lose but we have everything to gain. I wish everything for you. Luv ya.
Ron, that's what I think, too, and are you a poker player?

Robin, thank you. My heart is resilient. It just needs a little exercise once in a while.

Ariana, as you are someone who lives life on your own terms, this is high praise. Luv ya, too!!!
hey sirenita congrats on navigating the minefield & getting the editors eye.
dating is a real microcosm of the macrocosm in many ways. it also reminds me of job interviewing with all the similarities.
you're an old pro at this thing but yet you also write as if you're new to it all. there is a saying in zen, "beginners mind".. considered holy.
oh yeah I like the costarring role of the pornbots. amazingly, some of them can chat and halfway hold a conversation. a bit of a shudder to think what they will be like in 10 yrs. hmmmmm
vzn, that's a disturbing idea, you could hold a conversation with a pornbot and not know it. I guess the vocabulary is limited. I'm completely new to personals ads. Never did it before. It's a hoot.
Damn! I only have a few women of the cyberworld that have penetrated my high walls of defense, never met though, because well, I'm afraid they would see me and go, EEK!!! YOU'RE TOO HOT FOR ME!! ~boohoohoo~ ;)

I knew a Carl online as well, he was from Salt Lake City and wanted to be tied up in two ply and play the sterio. Yes, that's how he spelled it.

Mmmmm. Two ply!

One nice thing about being online is the whole, "My name is it's Steve...." and that development, testing the water as it may be termed!
I am leaning towards a thought pattern that says back off from this particular exploration. Too scary and yucky, the holes of the sieve are just too darn large, too many ways for bad guys to slip through and get too close to you.

Just saying.
I’m familiar with you Siren; you’ve been on my faves list for some time. I appreciate your frank and clear personal testimony here of going on the prowl. Must tell you though, for me it ran towards boring. And I do believe this difference (between your patient lingering over the savory quest, and my impatience with your sloth in arriving at the dénoument,) – it’s a gender thing.

Women: it’s largely about the CHASE. Even, as here, when we have an exceptionally proactive woman, one who is actively, even aggressively, seeking a man to do the dirty with, there is so much attention given to the preliminaries, the thrusts and parries of the negotiation phase (well before there is any actual physical thrusting and parrying)... Interesting to be sure… but never so all-consuming to a man – your typical, gonadal, tumescent man – as would justify an entire post. I got the part about the battered, delicate heart being somewhat self-protective and retiring, but however understandable these impulses be, still they comprise a fifth column, sabotaging the project.

Men: it’s all about the project… le COUP, contact and entrance. Fuck the niceties (except insofar as we must entertain them to induce the fucking)… let’s get to the fucking fucking already.

I mean, Siren, you DID say you were “looking for a sex cure.” And I am not daft, I’ve been with women, I get it that everything you’ve described (the buildup, the pas de deux, the careful evaluation of the pros and cons of all these suitors) all is well and truly essential to your “sex cure.” Far be it from me to knock your process, your ways and wiles. I need to study them, and know them, grasp them and relish them, because you are woman, the prey I seek when I am on the prowl... and I am always on the prowl. I want to get laid again. And again… Whence, I should just shut up and heed your tale…

But I am choosing engagement, a dialog with your story. So I am responding with the other side… the guy’s side. For us it’s, “Baby, bring your body here…” You hold the gates; ope’ them, and I’m in.
hmmm...i'm about your age, i'm a comedian, and i'm not a psychopath...i don't, however, drive a motorcycle--damn! but i would definitely answer your ad--your willingness to both take a risk and be honest is enormously attractive--good luck on craigslist and keep us posted!
Tink, you should just let your hotness show and whoever is left standing, that person should lie down. I'm not sure if Carl is from Salt Lake, but he has been on vacation the last couple of weeks, you might have run into him.

Ablonde, not really yucky nor very scary, but I appreciate your concern. The scary thing for me if dullness, the dullness of staying home, becoming increasingly disabled, dependent on other people, that whole nightmare. Besides, I don't expect guys to give me their real name, but they do have to give, with their ID and credit card, it to the hotel.

LeMichel, lol. Step by step. That includes posting. I gotta work up to it.
Well, if it's the same Carl, it's been a few years, so tell him I say hi!! And I still have the twig to hit him with it!!



Yes, I am kinky, the kind you don't take home to mother!! Teeheehee!! ;D
Mistercomedy, not having a motorcycle is not a deal-breaker.

Eric, I wish you would say more. I assume you met some women through the regular personals?

Tink, you're kinky??? You hide it so well.
God, I didn't know it was so hard for a beautiful 57 yr old woman to get laid!!!! I'd never jump through all those hoops or I wouldn't have two kids. Wish you lived closer...bummer!
I somehow doubt that it's "difficult for a beautiful...woman" of any age to "get laid." LeMichel was saying something about men just wanting to "get to the fucking already," and as he was pointing out, that's such a MAN thing to say. The only 2 questions a man typically needs answered about such an encounter are, "Is there a vagina?" and "Is she attractive enough?" It's more complicated for women, in general.

As for this post,'s wonderful to meet you, Sirenita, and I envy you deliciously. Faved, thumbed, and appreciated.
Loved this so, so much! A breath of fresh air. :)
I owe you an apology. For some reason I had a bad reaction to reading about dating via Craig's List. (Me??? The idea of anything like this turning me off makes no sense.) I've never even used Craig's List for anything. As a result I almost missed this charming post. (I only read it because it was you.) This was very enjoyable and kinda touching. You also didn't say it was fiction so I assume you are out there girl. (I'm not reading 70 Comments) Have fun and congratulations on your Editor's Pick.
Great post. Not for me but I admire your sense of adventure!
Not something I'd ever do, but great writing as always.
Blue sounds like a healthily simple, horny person. Perfect. If I were you I'd fuck him, which will allow you to decide later whether you want all that other crap, and if so with whom.
You may be right, I may be crazy,
but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for

Who'd have thunk I'd be quoting BIlly Joel as romantic advice, but there ya go ... and hey, you can even ride the motorcycle in the rain if you life :)
u continue to impress with your honesty and forthrightness. I pity the poor guy who tries to play you with an empty heart.
This was a great read. Those last two paragraphs pushed it over the top for me.

Now where does one find women like you? Craig's List? Really?
@MyOnlyOutlet: MOO, you impress me! …I am always impressed when a woman demonstrates or expresses a real grasp of the male psyche. Even when a man is stating directly what men are about with his insider’s insight (as I tried to do earlier), most women can’t hear the truth (can’t handle it?) – they retreat into denial or stereotype – men are their Romantic, Knightly Saviors, or else they are Bestial, Testosterone-Addled Thugs. [Much the way, I suppose, that many men see women as Madonnas or Whores.] The truth is simpler and more complex.

Earlier, I might have said that, for men, it’s, “Baby, bring your BOOTY here…” Instead, I euphemized it; no matter, MOO, you got it anyway! Your two questions are truly our DEFINITIVE ones: Vagina? Attractive? A Yes and a Yes, and we are hot for assignation! …the locomotive fires up! And once it leaves the station, there’s but one destination.
So MOO gets it, as for sure you do too, Siren! (You impressed me at Hello)… One of your Author-Tags is a billboard for your ...smarts. [Now I, if seeking your favor, would never tag my overture “Free Cock” …I’d go with “Chivalrous Hunk” – it’s a stretch, but hey, do I know my prey? As do you, baby, as do you…

So my chivalry and your freedom, now THERE’S a symphony – gosh, Siren, you feeling me?
How brave of you. I'd never be able to trust someone off of CL to be intimate with. Be safe, i'll be worried about you.
LeMichel, I feel you and remember my challenge.

To everyone who came and commented, thank you. I would like to answer everyone personally, but I'm off to ride a motorcycle with Blue and will be back online tonight. Y'all have fun!
yes, brave...I read your stuff end to end. Rated
I've been MIA from OS for several days, so am late getting to this. Congrats on the well-deserved EP, and for doing as well as you seem to be with Craigslist. Watch that Blue though, both in case he isn't what he seems and in case he is what he seems:)
Loved your story! I'm in the middle of a Craiglist exploration too. At 43, I'd been celibate for 6 and a half years and decided it was time to experience sex again. It was harder than I thought to find an appropriate guy, someone understanding, confident, and skilled. I wasn't ready for a relationship. I don't do the bar scene. So I turned to Casual Encounters on Craigslist. It has worked out great for me. I'm a risk taker at heart but not stupid. I spend time getting to know them online and in person and trust my intuition. If I ever get even an inking of something weird, I don't second guess, I leave immediately whether in person or online. I also know their names before we meet and research them online. I lost my 2nd virginity with a very handsome, enthusiastic, and communicative man just a few years younger then me. We met several times. I have slept with a couple of others only once each, the sex was ok but not great. I waited a long time and I want great. Now I have found a regular Friends with Benefits with a great guy I'll just call J. He gives wonderful massages and is attentive and creative. It is the best sex I've ever had! It is great precisely because there is no strong emotional connection to cloud the sex. It is only about the pure physicality of it. Tender, sweet, yes. But it is only about feeling good in the moment, and for the moment, it is perfect! This experience has been very healing for me and I have no regrets. Thanks, Sirenitalake, for sharing your story.
Thanks for writing this! I love reading about nice normal poly/kinky people like yourself.
Quite an engaging read. Finding sex was always an adventure until I got married. Sex can still be adventurous, but the hunt simply doesn't take place anymore. I always enjoyed it, regardless of how it turned out.
Well I haven't been married in a long time so I am not sure how I would feel about an "open marriage" but probably wouldn't interest me. In that case if I WERE married I wouldn't be roaming! On the other hand, being single I would never have the guts to do what you did! It scares the hell out of me just sitting on a bus next to strangers I don't know let alone considering sex with a stranger. To be honest, a one night stand and/or casual sex is about the furthest thing from my mind and totally repellent in a way. Maybe if I were in a committed scene it might look good--but hey--I'm a writer! I can use my fantasy and create these scenarios in my work--I don't have to actually live them! On the other hand, maybe you're putting on us? Maybe this didn't really happen? Who knows--if it did, if I were you I'd tell a friend where you are going before you go on one of these "dates.." just in case--it's a weird world out there.
Ralph, it’s not hard to get laid, there just isn’t someone congenial for available for no strings attached sex all the time. In a way, it’s probably better to do this with people who are not in your daily life. Maybe.
MyOnlyOutlet, exactly! Even with NSA sex, you need more than just a cock.

Mariana, thank you.

Pensose, I’m sorry to hear about the eggs. There might be other adventures in fertilization available on craigslist. ;-)

aphrabehn, I hope what he wants is what you feel like giving.

Harp, thank you and I’m so glad you decided to come. It’s not fiction and I am having fun!

Smithery, thanks for reading. I think I’m a bit of a sexual outlier.

Leeandra, good to see you, thank you.

Is That It, he is indeed a healthily simple, horny person, and damned easy to get along with.

Lyle, you could be right, I may enjoy some madness for a while.

Ben Sen, thank you, and thanks for trusting my ability to take care of myself.

Duane, craigslist or right here on OS ;-)

LeMichel, I hope you decide to explore this topic further.

bobbot, thank you and don’t worry. The vast majority of people are not psychopaths and the ones who are usually give themselves away.
Cathy, thanks, I will!

Woman, thank you so much!

nana, you’ve given me something to think about. I’m not sure which would be worse!

Maisy1emma2, you said it, “I’m a risk-taker but I’m not stupid.” That lets you live when caution defeats life. Connection can be all about how you treat someone at the moment, not the plans you make.

Kathy, thanks!

Emma, thank you! I like being seen as a normal kinky person. I do feel normal, in that I like my life to be in order and I have pretty high standards for how I treat people. I just like my fun a little edgy.

jimmymac, you are a true adventurer.

Poet, thanks for reading. We’re all different. I’m not interested in casual sex because I am or am not in a committed relationship. It’s neither a loneliness nor a “grass is greener” type of thing. It’s who I am and how I am in the world. I don’t write fiction. Life is stranger ;-)
Still cheering for you over here on the sidelines.

Lucky you. All the guys I've met on Craigslist have been scum cheating on their wives and just looking for a quick toss.
Our hearts are deep and strong, never pass up a chance to love, fall in love and be loved. Enjoy the ride and don't look back.
Funny how synchronicity works. I was just writing in my journal last night that I need to do something adventurous like this. Thank for such openness about the details...and for the inspiration!
And Steve? What did you think about Steve?
And yet, thank you so much, you know for what.

Rainne, I've always been lucky with men, or maybe I just don't remember the disasters ;-)

Lady Viola, you're a woman after my own heart. There is no scarcity of love, it's a renewable resource.

Mary Ann, ooh! I can't wait.

Steve, I thought Steve was a handsome, charming dude, the kind of smart, sweet guy I like, and I fell instantly in love.
I'll keep all crossable bits crossed. Good luck!
Fascinating, brave, articulate and honest. Hooray for you.
Only did a couple of real time encounters from internet affairs, one was a dud with no chemistry, the other lasted the better part of two years... also did a long distance phone sex thing with a wonderful woman from Dublin who was struggling with three cancers at the time. She prevailed and married a fellow in Ireland. I hope she's still prevailing. R&R