skeletnwmn

skeletnwmn
Location
Texas,
Birthday
October 11
Bio
People who have gone through sorrow are more sympathetic than others, not so much because of what they know about sorrow, but because they know more about happiness. They appreciate its value and its fragility, and welcome it wherever it may be. The Puritan attitude which grudges happiness belongs only to those who have never entered very deeply into life. ----- Freya Stark, Beyond Euphrates

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SEPTEMBER 24, 2009 9:11PM

Purgatory Sucks

Rate: 5 Flag

I'm living in Purgatory.   What is there to do when you've finished up all seven seasons of All Creatures Great & Small on Netflix and everything else seems pale in comparison?

 I spend 9 hours a day driving to work, "working" and driving back home.  My paychecks are minimal since I've opted for Health Care Savings enough to pay for 6 crowns and I've taken out two loans from my 401k to make home improvements.  Jeez, give me back the days when I worked for $9 an hour and had no credit, no mortgage, no car payment, no insurance.

God, is life really this boring?  What did I do wrong?  Where do I go from here?  It's all I can do sometimes to keep from taking all my savings and seeing how far I could go in my not-even-halfway-paid-for used Honda and starting over in a new identity.

I'm not dedicated or passionate enough about anything.  There's no life or death crisis in front of me.  There's no choice to be made.  Every thing is the same thing today as it was yesterday, as it will be tomorrow. 

I'm sick of reading about the stupid government.  I'm tired of reading blogs.  Could it really be that my brain is so fried I have no interests any more?  This is pathetic.

What would I tell someone who was whining like this? 

Oh crap.  I don't even know THAT.

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crappy, dull, rut, bored

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Turn that frown upside down! Seriously...no...I am kinda serious about that. You don't need a new identity, but maybe a little adventure...maybe not all of your savings...but enough for a short road trip...Fall is here...could be great...xox
thanks Robin. I am going on a 4-day stint in the country in a couple of weeks. My trouble I think stems from not wanting to be here (in Texas) anymore. I've got an opportunity to move to another country, if I could just figure out how to get rid of this house and save a little cash. So I guess I'm feeling kinda tied down right now.
Ooohhh, what country?! xox
Dubai -- United Arab Emirates. Only because my daughter, son-in-law and two beautiful grandsons are there for the next 4 years. Plus, it's amazing to meeting people from all those "scary" countries (like Iran) and find out they're just regular people.
then, skeletnwmn, you need to go to Netflix and check out Turtles Can Fly. Here's the synopsis:
Residents of an Iraqi Kurdistan village await the violent arrival of the invading U.S Army. A young boy named Satellite (Soran Ebrahim) helps clear minefields and installs equipment that brings in news from the outside world. Meanwhile, three orphans wander aimlessly, the victims of tragic happenstance. As Saddam is removed from power, these innocent children must confront the harsh reality that awaits them. Bahman Ghobadi directed.

I loved it and it really helped broaden my perspective on people from "that" part of the world.
ps
come up to north idaho for a spell! it is beautiful here this time of year and i'll show you around.
http://www.coeurdalene.org/#
ps
i left you a comment on my blog if you want to check it out.
Volunteer for something -- anything -- it does wonders for the psyche and the soul. BTW, I'm with you on the Viggo Mortensen thing -- he's been on my "list" for years.
You know it's funny you said volunteer. There's been a very antagonistic blog going regarding the benefits/drawbacks of AA -- and I still fall back to my 12-step education and remember that the best way to get out of my own head, is to help someone else.

I think I will!
You don't know this but the boredom is a good thing. It means your life is an open road, with no roadblocks, no speed limits, no engine knock, nothing to stop you except paying for the tolls and gas.

These are life's gravy days, the days you're not sick, someone isn't dying, you have a job, you have your health and a car.

Robin's right. Get in your car and drive. it's autumn. pack a lunch, bring the dog if you have one.

you're free.
When I'm in a boring spell (like now) I remember a poster that I used to see in high school that said, "Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are." It helps me maintain the perspective that I'd rather be bored than sick or missing someone or dealing with a crisis.
I would recommend the series Ballykissangel if you haven't watched it yet and need a new Netflix series. And I agree that volunteering can be a good way to get out of one's own head.
ahhh, monkey. If only DRIVING were free.

I'm beginning to think it's a collective boredom. Many of us are treading water nowadays and the outlook ain't good. You know how people who lived in rural areas during the depression weren't as affected by the economic trials of that era? Well, the current state of my economy has me over a barrel. And since my job requires being subject to the emotional rantings of a couple of highly-stressed-out-power-chasing lawyers, I'm ready to join a commune.

It's boring being "free" to do anything and not having any resources to do it. Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose and baby, I jus want to lose everything (again) so I can feel that freedom.

But it doesn't cost anything to write! And as long as I can afford the internet, I can read what ya'll write here. And when I can no longer afford the internet connection, I still own my computer.

This place is like a free university, or free therapy. It's an instant old friend and at the same it's anonymous, so I won't get fired for saying what I REALLY think. (although after several years of being brutally honest online, I've learned that reading can be more hurtful than actually hearing it live and in person)

When my youngest moved out on her own, it took me a couple of years to become aware of the lack of restrictions on my money, my time, my living arrangements, my commitments. I'm disappointed in myself for pursuing a path that has lead nowhere. But I'm not done yet by gosh. I'm determined to finally follow that freakin' bliss everybody's always talking about.

I have known joy. I've been aware of it up until a couple of months ago. Then recently I noticed I haven't had any of those joy moments. Like they say in AA it's an AFGO. Another Fucking Growth Opportunity.

btw, Monkey -- you've inspired me to draw again. Thanks.
Whelmed1 But not over or under. ;)
thanks for being honest aim.