Didn't your parents ever teach you not to call people names?
Sure, I feel the same way about people too sometimes. Sometimes, I'll even say it out loud. Like, "I got cut off on the highway by a total dick."
But regardless of its accuracy, directing name-calling insults squarely at the person in question usually does you no favors--especially in a public forum where other people can see what you're saying. It might give you satisfaction, but it's certainly going to do no good persuading the other person; plus, third parties are going to regard you as being dickish.
Republicans today did little to increase their reputation by calling the president of our country an authoritarian and a despot. They were simply being petty in the extreme.
When someone is critiquing you, either you respond substantively or if you have no argument you resort to personal attacks.
Calling people names just makes you look petty and exposes you for trying to distract from something you can't defend. Your target might also respond in kind and call you nasty names.
It's just plain nasty and gets messy right quick.
Plus it's mean.
Didn't your parents ever teach you not to call people names?
Bonus piece of advice: Anytime you write about "these women" or "those women" or "that woman" in characterizing someone, I guarantee that most women are going to read it as "these women" in the same tone they've heard countless misogynists use those phrases in their life. Whether you are or not, it certainly makes you look like a woman-hater.
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Ken Honeywell
K.M. Breay
FierceFemmeSadhana
Katy B.
old new lefty
OEsheepdog
Salon.com
Comments
I am glad to hear from a man who, like my beloved, understands what women actually do hear. It makes a lot of difference.
Everyone has probably been taught, "not to call people nasty names."
Just like they have probably also been taught that ,"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
I believe we have all taught those as we were growing up. Being taught something, and putting it into action, in your daily lives, are two different things. Some don't get that concept.
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain
One of my favorite quotes, and it is the truth. I think it is one that many of us should practice more often in life.
Thank you for this..
The *problem* isn't that they don't KNOW name calling is bad. They're not dumb - they know it, same as we ALL know it.
So why do people do it? Whatever name it's given (anger, defensive, yada/yada) it boils down to lack of self control at the heat of the moment. Self control isn't something we can practice when we *don't* need it, so we end up learning it by eating humble pie after the fact.
Also imho, while name calling is offensive, biting sarcasm and public shaming don't feel a whole lot better to be on the receiving end of and there's a whole lot of those, too. This incident is pretty mild compared to some I've seen in the last 18 months here.
Our parents ALSO taught us to treat others the way we'd want to be treated, right? Let's not forget that one...
gah.... crawling off the soapbox and shutting up now....
Very rated.
Some people call that hypocrisy but I think it also passes for manners.
hehehehehehe
My parents taught me a pack of lies, a pack of horse shit about "Christian Love."
Maybe some people are just evil. Maybe I'm one them.
I deserve my death, deserve my punishments. Give me more, more!
Suffering is holy.