Idiots

of

The Month

A lady died this past January and Citibank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charges on her credit card and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but was now somewhere around $60.00.

 A family member placed a call to Citibank. 

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.' 

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.' 

Citibank: 'It is two months past due, so it already has been.' 

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead? ' 

Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' 

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' 

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you get what I was just telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' 

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.' 

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' 

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?' 

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' 

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given) 

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax was sent to Citibank ) 

After they get the fax :

Citibank- "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.' 

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' 

Citibank: 'That might help...' 

Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!' 

Family Member: (finally losing it) 'And what do you do with dead people on YOUR freakin’ planet???'