I recently got some great photos sent to me by a friend.
They were about a bear that got into a bit of trouble. Here they are.....
It seems that bears are getting into trouble all over
I sent it out to some good friends and one of them had this to say....
OMG! The distinction between the two photos is stunning! The bears are not finding salmon in the rivers. Why are the rivers not full of salmon?
So I set out to investigate the lack of salmon for the bears to eat. This is the result of my investigation.
I now know why the rivers aren't full of salmon...... It's all Tink's fault. I have done some careful investiga'tink'ing and, being the world's foremost genius at solving 'tink'crimes, have deduced the solution.
It seems that, after posting one of his more outrageous 'tink'blogs, a reader commented on it, saying, "Holy Moses, Tink, after a blog like that, the next thing you'll do is walk on water!"
Tink responded that he "didn't do water walking" but, since Moses had been invoked, he thought he could do a very creditable "parting of the waters." He set about to do so but living in Indiana or some such waterless place he had to extend his reach somewhat.
"ZAP!".... Tink parted the waters. Unfortunately he was facing the north-west coast of Canada and Alaska and with his ramped up Zap, he parted all the rivers right up to the Arctic Sea! This meant that the boy salmon couldn't jump the gap to get up those rivers. All the girl salmons, being better jumpers than the boys, went up just fine.
They, being girl salmons, were smart enough to avoid the bears who wanted to eat them (although a few of them asked for a clearer understanding of just what the bears meant when the said they'd "eat them") and got to the spawning grounds OK. They laid their eggs as salmons usually do; and then died as salmons usually do. But there was no boy salmon to fertilize those tiny, wee salmons eggies. This was a disaster!
Ed I Tor immediately put out an emergency call for Tink to "get his fat ass down here and explain himself!"
Tink tried to hide in the thorn-bushes but he was found and, still clutching a copy of Hustler Magazine with Miss Page 31 prominently displayed, he, "got his fat ass down there."
So Tink was sent up to the salmon's spawning grounds where, with the help of Miss Page 31, he is busily engaged in fertilizing those wee salmon's eggies all by himself (Miss Page 31 doesn't count).
As you see dear Zuma, this not only explains why the salmon aren't in the rivers, it also explains the mysterious dearth of Tink on the pages of OS, lately. We'll know for sure that my incredibly astute theory is absolutely correct when we get a look at next spring's salmon fry as they head out to sea. My bet is that each and every one of them will have orange fur and Tink's little button nose. I can't wait for next year's catch to hit the supermarkets. ........Eeeeeeeeeeeek!! ;-)
Do you think we ought to let that bear-in-the-air know that salmon are seldom known to frequent the upper levels of electricity transmission towers? I mean, I know man shouldn't interfere with the workings of nature, and if you don't think it's fair to the salmon for us to help out the bear, I'll understand; but perhaps we could just say "cold", "colder", as he climbs and "you're getting warmer" as he comes down......