An old lady died and went to heaven. She was chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she heard the most awful, blood curdling screams.
“Don't worry about that,” said St. Peter “It's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings.”
The old lady looked a little uncomfortable but carried on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there were more blood curdling screams.
“Oh my God,” frowned the old lady, “now what is happening?”
“Not to worry,” dismissed St. Peter, “she's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.”
“I can’t do this,” declared the old lady,”'I'm going to hell.”
“You can't go there,” cautioned St. Peter. “You'll be raped and sodomized and forced to perform oral sex.”
“Maybe so, affirmed the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.”