Given FusunA's recent headline (Eat your Dates) and the celebration of Easter, a time of "re-birth," I started thinking about the threat facing our planet. You know the one.

I'm talking about the end of the world: The Zombie Apocalypse.

As a student of horror films, dating back to the 1931 classic, "Dracula," I have gleaned valuable information to keep the human race alive. Keep these tips handy. You never know when the zombies will be knocking at your door.

Garlic won't help

Garlic is great for vampires. Unfortunately, unless we're facing horrors the likes of which the Richard Matheson novel predicted in "I am Legend," then forget it. And if you think you know Matheson's story because you've watched one of the three films (starring Vincent Price, Moses and Hitch, in that order), then you may as well await for your fate with the rest of the vamp-bait. We'll be sure to stake you later.

Save the silver bullets

Silver bullets are just as good as the regular kind when it comes to taking care of a zombie, called "the walking dead" by George A. Romero (who never used the term "zombie" in his films). A well placed bullet or blow to the brain will drop your flesh-craving buddy like a rock.

Don't split up

As soon as you divide your party, the zombies will pick you off one by one. There is safety in numbers (or so the theory goes). If you are in a group, keep yourself in the middle. Why? When the zombies attack, they'll munch on your friends. Use them as a shield. Consider them something akin to bubble wrap or a hard candy shell.

Zombies don't run

According to George A. Romero, the zombie expert, they are "the walking dead" for a reason. "Zombies can't run," he told NPR in a recent interview. "Their ankles would snap. It's impossible." (Thank you, George. You just prevented countless nightmares for me.)

Block access to home

If there are stairs to the house, knock them down. A back deck? Cut it down. Zombies are horrible climbers. You can get in and out by a drop-down ladder if need be. BUT, you shouldn't leave the confines of your home until the situation is desperate. Wait them out. Hopefully you have a well-stocked pantry at your disposal with plenty of non-perishable food.

Ignore the emergency warning system

The government will not know how to respond to the zombie outbreak. Rely on your gut so you can prevent the zombies from reaching in ripping out said gut.

Don't pin hopes on a rescue

If you are waiting for the knight in shining armor, or the U.S. Cavalry, to come charging in, forget about it. They are probably zombies themselves at this point. Your best bet is to find a secluded place (good luck). Head to the high mountains if you can. Hike in to a ranger station and stay put. If it's winter, well, you're screwed.

Sources: "Shawn of the Dead," "Night of the Living Dead," "Dawn of the Dead," "Day of the Dead," "Land of the Dead," "I am Legend" (novel), "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (TV series), "Re: Your Brains" zombie song by Jonathan Coulton, "The Undead" (movie)