So I got this neighbor. Not right next door and not across the street, but in our neighborhood. Let's just call the mother Nmom. Nmom has 2 kids. One kid is 8, same age as my middle child and only a year older than my daughter. The 8 year old is a girl and we shall call her Lex. The other kid is a boy who is 5 but acts like he is around 18 months to 2 years old. We shall call him Cole. Cole has some issues. I am 99% sure he's under The Umbrella. Actually I'm convinced of it. Now if that were Cole's only issue this would be fine. But it isn't. Cole is a supreme pain in the ass on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.
I swear the kid talks like Cousin It from the Adams Family. I am not being mean, I being pissed because one day he was here giving his sister a hard time while she was trying to put his shoes on. He was talking like Cousin It so badly, there was no possible way anyone could figure out what he was saying. Imagine, if you will, someone speaking to you at regular speed while removing the beginning and the ending sounds of every word they say, leaving only a one syllable vowel sound to be expressed for each word. That's what this kid sounds like. I would almost say he is retarded, but no, just wait. After going through the Cousin It routine 5 times and still no one, not even his sister knew what in the hell he was saying he takes a deep breath and says with crystal clarity, "Put my socks on first, then my shoes." That little son of a ... he's been faking a major speech impediment all this time!
Then his sister wrestles his ass to the ground to put his damned shoes on which I told him not to take off in the first damned place because believe it or not, I don't want to get up close and personal with the feet of every kid that comes to my house. I don't want to handle their socks, their shoes or their smelly feet! (Except for Em's feet - which are never smelly - because I love her like one of my own). So Cole starts kicking his sister and my daughter in the face while they struggle to shoe the beast and he laughs at them each time he kicks them. Mean little shit. I loose my patience, tell him to get up and walk home barefooted.
As he gets up I notice he is wearing pull ups. I have been informed by my kids that Nmom sits at her computer playing online games all day. (I work from home!!!) I thought this whole pull up thing neglectful, but then again, I know how difficult potty training a special needs child can be.
Most of the time when Cole comes here he commits a sex crime. He is a flasher. He repeatedly shows his wiener schnitzel to the little girls over at my house. No matter how many times he is told not to do it, he just laughs in the face of reprimand and does it again.
I have made up my mind for zero penis tolerance and I send him home the first time he whips it out. backtracking a little here - I was at the playground in our neighborhood with my kids, Lex and the flasher when another little girl and her dad came to the playground. Cole shows them his dick. They leave in a HUFF (don't blame them). But now these people think Cole, the flasher, is MY kid! Humiliation upon our heads because of another person's kid. Is this fair? Then Cole lays down in the tennis court with his pants around his ankles waving his thang around. His sister ends up dragging his ass home with his pants down.
Yesterday all the kids were at my house playing and everything was fine till cole flashed his pecker to the girls - 3 times before they could get to my office to report. I told them to take him home and explain to his mother what he had done. I WAS WORKING, or I would have taken him myself - plus I don't know what to say to this woman. It seems she would be at least a little embarrassed, feel the need to provide an explanation and/or an APOLOGY for her kid's horrendous behavior but NO she sends him back time and again as if nothing were amiss.
When my daughter and friends got back out in the front yard he was pissing on the bushes in the front yard!!! Neighbors and passers-by, all staring. Then he waves his dick at the cars as they stop at the stop sign on our corner! SHEESH!
After they left I saw they had ransacked the house and cleaned out the pantry and fridge before heading home: drank a 2 liter of Coke, eaten 2 boxes of cookies, a half bag of potato chips, a quarter bag of Nacho chips, five individual snack sized bags of Cheezits (my kids' school snacks) and 5 containers of pudding. That shit cost me a damned fortune at Publix the day before and now it was all gone!!!
Now Nmom is pissed at my zero penis tolerance rule and I have to explain to her that not every little girl who plays at my house has a little brother and when they go home quizzing their mothers about the male anatomy, I get angry phone calls. Even after I explain the situation, some parents don't want to let their daughters come back over here to play because they never know when COLE, not my kid, will be over here. So the fair thing to do is for her to keep him home till he learns to keep his pants on.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Asta Charles
gonzoid
Darryl Ross
latethink
Patrick D Hahn
theworldisgrey
Salon.com
Comments
I'm sure mom is proud of Cole. After all, he has discovered an activity he will likely use the rest of his life.
Delia - you have a very good point. That is so true and should not be tolerated.
Ron - amazingly you are spot on. My house is what I would call a creative wonderland - it's creatively messy/cluttered. I hate it sometimes. But then when I saw their house my eyes about fell out on the floor. It looked like I might be at the landfill! There is absolutely no discipline and the kids are allowed to stay up as long as they like on non-school nights. Last time the girl slept over here she didn't go to sleep until 5 AM!
Now, seriously, poor kids, even the cousin it... I would call Nmom and tell her i won´t receive the child anymore. The worst that could happen is that she would feel offended by your harsh reaction towards her little angel... which is perfect to stop the relationship, heh.
Rated, a very good first post. And thanks for adding me as your favorites!
Marcela
I can't keep up. What's the porpoise in sipping Coke?
Sip Mountain Dew. Take a little pink pinkie to knock.
Knock softly on the door. When he comes, burp 7-up.
It sounds like 'it' should be made into a romance tail.
Gads. I am supposed to somewhere else. I'll be there?
I tease you
Ya silly too
that is goo
O chuckles
honeworts
parsley
funnies
thanks
Bardgirl - lol! but seriously, yeah, maybe you got a point there.
Marcela - I did do that and it worked for a little while but she is eeking him in with her daughter when she comes to play. She knows I work from my house and that we have an in-ground pool with no shallow end. If she send him again I shall send him right back. I just can't be responsible for him.
JK - I thought of that but I was too afraid of what they might pick up, get hold of or step in.
Arthur - I feel you are trying to communicate with me.... ;-)
Yes, I'm sorry to say, this is true...
Cole
I have two young daughters and we have NOT had the male-anatomy-talk and when we do, it will be because I decide it's time...not because of some little flashing Cole-monster.
When Cole becomes a writer, I'm sure he will have quite the stories to write on OS around Mother's Day...
Rated!
It's ridiculous that Nmom is annoyed at you. At you!
However, this kid has problems, many. Problems with being ignored is the least of it. He should not be in pull-ups. The fact that he spoke clearly indicates he may Not be special needs. And the waving around of the wiener indicates constant neglect, and that's at the low end of the diagnostic spectrum. At the other end, he's been abused and will become an abuser.
He needs help.
Oh fuck, Cap'n Cole! what in hell are you doing here? I mean so nice to hear from you again. And that whole flasher thing, it's a whole other story - but I do so clearly remember you standing in your bedroom window in your dad's new London Fog and you ripping it open like Joan Jet in "do you wanna touch" YEAH! "Do you wanna touch me there? yeah! yeah!" and revealed the bonnie star that coat did part and show - ring diddle diddle dye dee oh, ring diddly I oh....
Mustard - So I take it they decided to 86 the Jim Morrison act?
Evangelia - Coles dad seems to be a rather reserved fellow but the kid could only have gotten that side to side penis swank from observation - what must the poor kid have walked in on???
Mr. e - that is a fabulous idea. You *are* the idea man!
But I am laughing.
sadly, there's not often much done based on a CPS call (the entire system is madly failing, over-loaded and under-staff), but your call would be documented, and helpful down the road should more things arise. and from the sound of it, they will.
i hate to jump to conclusions, but sometimes that behavior suggests that the child is seeing 'too much' at home. and that's bad news.
There'd be a sign on the door too that states, NO COLE ALLOWED! in like 50 point font!!!! ~grin~
This is funny, but disturbing in a primal Freudian way. Or maybe not....could go in any direction. What he's taught next. Sounds like he's got issues of ....well, to use that tired term, "boundaries".....the world is his...he cannot put himself in the viewpoint of another consciousness yet. Time to seriously clamp down. Hope his mom realizes she is potentially raising a...well, a nasty piec of work..
That said (the dr.'s visit is over)...outrageously, humorously told. Adopt the little piece of shit. Sort of. Mother the mother fucker on the sly. He'll test you, and then you can learn him how to be human..
great stuff..jim
LeedsJr- oh go ahead and laugh. I am only saying what everyone has thought of a similar child they have met. Which is why it's funny - b/c nobody just says that shit right out loud. 'cept me ;-)
LifeHalflived - nah. He is Autistic for sure, maybe some mild mental disability/retardation as well, topped with bewildered parents who set no guidelines/boundaries. He is 5 but his mentality is 2. He is fixated on his penis, the same as a 2 year old child is, because that is the maturity of his mind. We forgive a 2 yr old and think nothing of it but a 5 yr old behaving like a 2 year old in every way, suggests some true mentally incapabilities. But that is a big part of my point - that his mother should realize this and not try to mingle him in with children who are no where near his mental age - the kids here are between 7 - 9. Most 2 yr olds spend the majority of their day with their care-giver (mom, dad, teacher) not other, older kids who cannot tolerate the immaturities of a 2 yr old in a 5 yr old body. Sorry if I rambled but my daughter is talking firing questions at me like a machine gun.
Tink - yes, I must be firm.
Jimgalt - lol!
James Emmerling - Incredible insight! Bravo! as for learning him myself, I considered it. But damn! I don't wanna go back there. I guess I should give Nmom some info on how and where to get some help - she seems clueless.
Patrick - lol! I think I have just made up my mind that I will offer this woman some lifesaving information about getting help for the kid and herself.
Feed the cat - Just throw them out. "Everyone with a penis, leave the room." I swear it works way better than saying "leave me alone." The leave the room giggling, no bad feelings.
No...give her REAL info....get her to access whatever common sense maternal instincts are in her silly noggin....lend her some of yrs...by sweet subltle suggestion...the world doesnt need another narcissistic male masterpiece from the womb of
a willy-nilly woman...ach . JIM
I do agree though that "mr flasher" needs to stay home, perhaps his mother needs some professional help in caring for him.
RATED!
I have experience working with Autistic children and, quite frankly, this entire scene makes me a little sick to my stomach.
Maybe I should just bite my tongue here and hope that when Cole begins school his teachers will be able to help Cole, and his mother, address his living skills.
Until then, you are perfectly with in your rights to pick and choose what children come in to, and interact, with your kids. But, really, until you have a child with disabilities, you have no idea.
Denial is common among parents of young Autistic children. Cole's mom needs some guidance but probably not from you. It's not your job, nor do you have the qualifications to mentor her.
Possibly, specific limitations on Cole's visits (even none are okay if he's a big problem for you) and a little compassion would most likely go a long way.
Honestly, you are implying here that you have NO control over what kid comes into your home? That's why they make locks and door bells. It's that simple.
There are some big issues at play here:
1- Cole, who cannot swim, and does not understand when I tell him not to go near the pool, is fascinated with none other than the pool. I work from home, and while my office has a door that leads to the pool, it is a major danger for him.
2- The exposure of genitalia to girls who are too old to merely accept it (like they do when they are very young) or pass it off as nothing at all is a major problem. HE doesn't know what HE is doing, but that does not at all change how his actions affect these little girls.
If you can't control him (and no one is saying here that it is your responsibility to do that or to teach him differently) then it seems pretty simple to me. Don't allow him in your home.
Your kids, and what they are exposed to, especially in your home, IS your job. Wouldn't you agree?
I'm SURE you are a much better parent with better coping skills than Cole's mom. Otherwise, SHE wouldn't burden her daughter with the task of watching a five year old autistic child as they roam the neighborhood. I feel bad for Cole and his sister. Crappy parents are crappy parents, special needs kids or not.
Draw some lines. Stick to them. Take him home if he shows up. Explain to his mom why Cole is not welcome. Believe me, she needs to hear it as much as you need to tell her. (I'm not saying she will be gracious. But as soon as Cole starts school she will get an ear full from his teachers. His behavior WILL be addressed, one way or the other)
I'm sure you have a fence around your pool (here it's the law) just for the safety of your own kids.
Good luck. I hope I didn't offend you. It's just that I have worked with (and I have an autistic adult child of my own...thankfully, not as challenging as Cole)many autistic adolescents who have a myriad of bizarre behaviors. Most of them with wonderful parents. It's a heartache to have a child that everyone dislikes.
A little bit of compassion goes a long way. Your own kids will grow up understanding how lucky they are to be healthy and have you as their mom.
I meant to add in there that this was not effective so I talked with Nmom about keeping him home when Lex comes over.
then:
"Now Nmom is pissed at my zero penis tolerance rule"
"So the fair thing to do is for her to keep him home till he learns to keep his pants on."
(per my conversation with her whence she became angry with me, but has kept him at home when his older sister comes here to play ever since, except once (which I pm'd you about). That was it, he is not allowed to come over until he matures a bit.
no not offended at all. Cole actually started school this week. We will see how it goes. Nmom is no longer mad at me. I think she realized I wasn't just trying to be a meanie the day Cole disappeared b/c I immediately gathered a squad of neighbors to search for him.
I know what you mean - it is so hard for kids with special needs to fit in and feel a sense of belonging among their peers but to have no solace at home as well, is heartbreaking.