snarkychaser's Blog

Chasing the Elusive is My Muse.

snarkychaser

snarkychaser
Location
New Jersey, USA
Birthday
January 01
Bio
Snarky is my elusive muse. It is grasping for the unobtainable that causes anguish, and in the anguish and negative space, creativity can flourish.

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OCTOBER 13, 2010 11:34AM

I am Married to Don Draper

Rate: 17 Flag

OK my husband is not exactly Don Draper…He is an executive in advertising… but the geeky research part. He is surrounded by beautiful women… but he is very cognizant of the unfair power he has being the boss and would be too ethical to cheat with them. I did ask one co-worker if women at work found my husband as irresistible as I did. She did look a little shocked but answered honestly " They may think he is cute at first but when he opens his mouth no one really understands what he is saying."

He also loves me a lot. However, the threat of my object of affection cheating on me has always been my worst nightmare. My father did have three beautiful wives and he looked like a big cuddly teddy bear. My husband is far sexier at a trim 6’4” with a full head of hair and sensitivity to women. My husband is so good with difficult, neurotic divas that even the bitchiest women love him. He is very good with me too.

My theory is this: if Betty Draper had had decades behind her of geopolitical cold war disputes, she would have realized that deterrence would have stopped Don Draper’s shameless cheating cold. If Betty had actually taunted him with her admirers, perhaps it would have given Don pause before he jumped into the sack with all of those women.  Instead he perceived no threat of retaliation. She was stuck at home in the suburbs with sticky children only fantasizing about the washer delivery man and fending off smarmy youthful equestrians.

This is why I do not want to telecommute from my home anymore. I keep telling this to people and they do not understand why I wouldn’t just want to sit in front of my computer in elastic stretch pants and slippers. I have a dream and it is to have parity with my husband. Not just earning parity but “admirer parity”. I want to be a diva and have my admirers stand around me by the water cooler or microwave to listen to my adventures over the weekend.

I do have a virtual boyfriend. He writes me a line a day- if I am lucky -and I have to share him with his real girl friend and my friend. He did email me a President’s Day card for Valentine’s Day. My husband chortles when I look at my pillow lovingly and say “Snarky I love you.” I only do this when my husband pisses me off.  I told my husband that I thought that my son’s trumpet teacher had a little crush on me because he said I had the perfect mouth for playing trumpet. He neven gave me the gift of a mouth piece. That fantasy fell apart when I got billed $55.00 for mouthpieces that we did not want or need. In any event, I think that Betty should have given Don a few scares. He was just way too complacent. Deterrence works doesn’t it? I mean it’s not like any country would dare to threaten us with nuclear capability when we are so much stronger.

  John and me

 My most Betty Draperish outfit.

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deterrence, mad men

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Betty did give him one big scare, but she did it after she was determined to leave. Your Don sounds wonderful.
rated with love
Seriously, this is what is scary about marriage, but manipulation and control by a woman is not always successful. Men who want to cheat will cheat, and often the person you least expect to cheat will cheat - those are the ones in which the infidelity is symptomatic. But, in the end, it's all so complicated and could just be simplified if everybody would keep their pants on. I think while it's powerful to have admirers, it's also self-gratifying. What about emotional infidelity? That, to me, would be just as hurtful.

I think it's hilarious you say that to your pillow!
RP- Yes she gave up her real power and was an ice princess...my Don is much better.

Razzle- My Don doesn't take my Diva-ish need to have admirers too seriously and for that matter either do my admirers...they are happy to leave me to my husband.. I don't really understand Draper's infidelities and if Betty was really overtly threatening I believe he never would have married her. However, marriages are complicated and what turns one person off may titillate another. studies have shown that women are more attracted to men ( in pix) who have attractive women with them. Men are not ( in the study) but my husband is an exception and he likes that men are attracted to me....he is not at all threatened and perhaps that lets him have friendships with women. And in the end...we know deterrence is a sham.Has capital punishment really stopped murders?
While the committee applauds the gist of your post, and always likes a literary reference to the elusive snarky, various committee members believe you are being too partial to Betty Draper. Don may have strayed but is now living and analyzing the repurcussions, while Betty appears to have just (in her mind) "traded up."
" They may think he is cute at first but when he opens his mouth no one really understands what he is saying."

Yeah, that happens to me too.
Blog Review- Do you believe that? Betty traded an absent husband for a controlling one. She believed that she wanted the attention but she will soon regret it.

David- I can understand that ...they is why I like you so much and my little Snarky. I love geeky, brilliant, unusual men. I am your admirers too!
I am making a lot of typos today...time to admit that I might need those reading glasses...David you get my drift.
For the purpose of keeping your husband interested in you, shall I stand around the virtual watercooler flirting with you, or will it make me seem like a creepy internet stalker?

Rated for Don Draper-ness.
The committee believes a blogger known as "snarkysgirl" may have attempted to speak as if she was speaking on behalf of the committee. please be advised that the only official communications from the committee are those authorized and sent under the full committee"s name. In fact, the committee take sno official positon on Don or Betty Draper or on your persoanl situation, analagous or not. The committee"s only purpose is to insist on consistency of approach, and to avoid blurirng of various virtual identities.
Lucky Lady! However Don Draper is a tragic figure emotionally. No woman has what it takes to fill the hole in his life. He is so insecure that he is needy. Sounds like your fellow has his head on straight. Just keep him laughing and I know you do.
OOps...Snarkysgirl wrote just like Blog reviewer...Hmmmmm.

Gratfuldan- Yes Yes...no to the creepy stalker thing- my psychic friend says you are cool.

Zannelle he laughs at almost everything except when he is grumpy....like all the time.
You two look like a two-trunked oak tree.
(R)ated for, as usual, very good writing!
Wow, you look like a cute couple. (don't tell him I said that, men hate to be called cute)
Fred- Thank you my friend said my body language was moving away from him but I think it just means that he gives me space.

Scanner- You totally have the look that my husband would like to cultivate...he would think that you are cute too.
Great piece, Snarky. Very honest and full of humor. Just never wear elastic stretch panst with a slipper and he won't stray is my advice.
Good looking couple!
Fernsy- Ha! It is those elastic waist pants. I walk around in gym clothes all day. My friend told me that her sister's husband told her to stop...what an ass...I would wear them to spite him...
Great picture and great post! R
Lib- Thanks my husband and friend thought is was sappy and boring...I'll go back to sniping about him soon enough.
I'm glad you love your husband. And I'll guess that you look good in the swimsuit, too. (tan lines showing)
geezerchick- I noticed that...It is probably because I am outside and wear Tanks...very observant.
First I love this line " They may think he is cute at first but when he opens his mouth no one really understands what he is saying."
If you're keeping someone on their toes for the right reasons, I think it is great for the marriage. r
Snarky..such a sweet peek into a really neat looking couple. You guys sound pretty fun, isn't it great when you are so comfortable with each other, we laugh at each othe nd enjoy each other so much. Thing is we are as different as day and night, me..wild and crazy..him quiet and stable..lol. I love how you write and enjoyed this much.
I was thinking aloud about admirers and self-gratification, it makes me feel more desirable and with some men can be used as "collateral" and I don't think you're a diva, just a hot mama ;) Of course they're happy to leave you to your husband - that would mean they would actually have to put effort into working it to get what they want. I'm just too cynical.
Your husband is so secure and that's rare in my all at once finite and infinite experience. Congratulations!
I was thinking aloud about admirers and self-gratification, it makes me feel more desirable and with some men can be used as "collateral" and I don't think you're a diva, just a hot mama ;) Of course they're happy to leave you to your husband - that would mean they would actually have to put effort into working it to get what they want. I'm just too cynical.
Your husband is so secure and that's rare in my all at once finite and infinite experience. Congratulations!
Razzle Dazzle
October 15, 2010 10:05 AM
I just lost all of my comments...
Hugs...it was longer- the paraphrase is that we need to reinvent our marriages every 7 years ( according to Dr. Oz) Now he has put up with my corporate killer, earth mama, messy and Diva phases and I have to deal with the grumpy phase

Cindy- Thank you

Razzle- Remember this...because I didn't really understand it until I got older: Women are still trained to gain their sense of identity through how others view them...mainly on looks but also now on career, when a woman ages she gradually becomes invisible ( am am just starting to enter this phase) My male friends tell me they experience this as well to a lesser degree...because ultimately as we age, our status in society drops...Studies have been done on this it- is the way it is.
I think I get what you are saying, it's not that you want him to feel threatened, or you just want to be a bimbo object. It's that you want to keep yourself in that same light, that way when he looks at you he will always feel like smiling inside.

I agree, what's the point of having playground equiment if no one wants to play and who want's to play on it if it's not taken care of ? I think the card on the pillow is hilarious, does he laugh about it?

You are a very pretty girl, it's good that you're smart too.
I don't know who the Drapers are, but the Snarkys, I like. Enjoyed reading this. ~Rated.
The "perfect mouth for playing trumpet?" Work it!
Love your honesty. And you too are a cute couple -- way cuter than the Drapers.