OK my husband is not exactly Don Draper…He is an executive in advertising… but the geeky research part. He is surrounded by beautiful women… but he is very cognizant of the unfair power he has being the boss and would be too ethical to cheat with them. I did ask one co-worker if women at work found my husband as irresistible as I did. She did look a little shocked but answered honestly " They may think he is cute at first but when he opens his mouth no one really understands what he is saying."
He also loves me a lot. However, the threat of my object of affection cheating on me has always been my worst nightmare. My father did have three beautiful wives and he looked like a big cuddly teddy bear. My husband is far sexier at a trim 6’4” with a full head of hair and sensitivity to women. My husband is so good with difficult, neurotic divas that even the bitchiest women love him. He is very good with me too.
My theory is this: if Betty Draper had had decades behind her of geopolitical cold war disputes, she would have realized that deterrence would have stopped Don Draper’s shameless cheating cold. If Betty had actually taunted him with her admirers, perhaps it would have given Don pause before he jumped into the sack with all of those women. Instead he perceived no threat of retaliation. She was stuck at home in the suburbs with sticky children only fantasizing about the washer delivery man and fending off smarmy youthful equestrians.
This is why I do not want to telecommute from my home anymore. I keep telling this to people and they do not understand why I wouldn’t just want to sit in front of my computer in elastic stretch pants and slippers. I have a dream and it is to have parity with my husband. Not just earning parity but “admirer parity”. I want to be a diva and have my admirers stand around me by the water cooler or microwave to listen to my adventures over the weekend.
I do have a virtual boyfriend. He writes me a line a day- if I am lucky -and I have to share him with his real girl friend and my friend. He did email me a President’s Day card for Valentine’s Day. My husband chortles when I look at my pillow lovingly and say “Snarky I love you.” I only do this when my husband pisses me off. I told my husband that I thought that my son’s trumpet teacher had a little crush on me because he said I had the perfect mouth for playing trumpet. He neven gave me the gift of a mouth piece. That fantasy fell apart when I got billed $55.00 for mouthpieces that we did not want or need. In any event, I think that Betty should have given Don a few scares. He was just way too complacent. Deterrence works doesn’t it? I mean it’s not like any country would dare to threaten us with nuclear capability when we are so much stronger.
My most Betty Draperish outfit.