snarkychaser's Blog

Chasing the Elusive is My Muse.


New Jersey, USA
January 01
Snarky is my elusive muse. It is grasping for the unobtainable that causes anguish, and in the anguish and negative space, creativity can flourish.However, I am afraid that Snarky has given me very little to chase after lately....maybe...if I'm really lucky, he will send me a picture of his poison ivy.



SEPTEMBER 9, 2011 10:30PM

The Man Who Will Get to Have My Heart

Rate: 7 Flag


 I was terrified driving to the cardiologist. My friend had checked out his credentials on line the night before. She even did a tarot card reading. This man, who I was about to meet, was going to have a long happy relationship with me and/or become my husband. He was my second opinion. The first Electrophysiology expert was dying to get into my heart to do an ablation. He mentioned that they could even put in a pacemaker if they had to burn out too much of my heart (by mistake?). The goal was to  fix an arrhythmia to keep my heart from beating too quickly (up to a rate of 280 beats per minute) causing me intermittent unpredictable  temporary loss of vision and sometimes loss of consciousness.

 My new doctor was adorable. He did not mind me rummaging through his shavers when he first walked in. I told him that he kept me waiting so long I figured that I would shave my legs. I also showed him a picture that my friend just sent me on my I phone. He was gracious and agreed that she was very beautiful ( well she was on a motorcycle and had a great push up bra) However, I could tell he was much more interested in me and my heart. We made each other laugh. I explained that I could never have anyone near my groin (point of insertion for wires) that was much younger than I was. He quickly told me that he was 47. I am 48.  He also explained that he was not going to jump to burn my heart. He was no “cowboy” He was going to do it the way they taught him at Harvard (that was his cute way of letting me know that he was qualified to work with me).  It was like a first date. When he listened to my heart, I noticed the sweet little stray hairs on the top of his bald head. He had more tests to do. He was going to get to know me slowly and safely.

 When I was leaving the office the receptionist and I mocked him for calling me “young lady”. He took it in stride. He mentioned that I was one of the youngest women to come into his office. Behind me was a feisty woman her mid 70s. She told me that the doctors had given her a heart transplant. I asked her if she received memories of the person who had owned the heart. She answered “yes”. When the heart was placed in her body, she started looking at men…all men. Her husband laughed. She said when she discussed it with the heart donor’s mother the mother said “that is my girl.”

 You see I still believe that the heart is mysterious and is much more than any other organ. I can dislike dentists, gynecologists, and GPs and still use them if I know they are good doctors. However, the man (and many of them do seem to be men) that I let touch my heart will have to be special.

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Wow Just Wow. I hope you keep us posted every inch of the way. You tell him you have a troop of bloggers who are keeping close tabs on him. What an affair!!
Let us know!! Please!! R
Be picky with those docs. Only ever go with one that makes you comfortable and confident. A heart as grand as yours should only have the care of a special doctor.
(remember that at 47 you are still "to fucking beautiful to live")
Zanelle- Thank you so much. I am sure we will just find that it is just a side affect of too much Diet coke and evil aspartame . Or perhaps from one of the benign drugs that the FDA has approved like Advair ( for asthma) that big pharma pushes so heavily..

Hugs - I will Thank you.

Scylla- You remember. I regret that I did not specify that I only turned 48 -10 days ago.
Good luck with it all, Snarky, and I hope it goes smoothly for you. Yes, I agree, the heart is a mystery -- and let me add, I'm glad to see you here again.
“She even did a tarot card reading.”?

"Day and night . . . the shadows move too slowly
From dark to light she promised she could know me
Remember when . . . I watched her on the stairway
She was drinkin' wine . . . and she told me what the
say . . .

Some destinies, they should not be delivered . . .
But in her eyes I saw a thousand reasons

Day and night

I feel her skin . . . it's thin and white as pressed milk
I closed my eyes and she vanished just like burnt silk
And what remains was like some fallen thunder
And my lips were chained; they were filled with empty wonder

But the stars tell lies, it blinds the only warning
And when darkness dies, there's nothing left but morning . . .

Just day and night

Day and night . . . the shadows start to scatter
When touched by light . . . each promise made is shattered
And even when the question find the answer
But even then, they're something like a dancer
But even then, they're something like a das it pains me to say that, and I am a technical klutz. What I can do is use the English langauge better than anyman man ever born of woman.
Like day and night . . . dark to light
I move from day to night"
But the stars tell lies, it blinds the only warning
And when darkness dies, there's nothing left but morning . . .
Boanerges- Thank you so much.

Jack- there is something very sad here...perhaps I must go back again to my obsession with the nature of reality. In any event I believe that free will trumps destiny every-time and our reality is mostly in our head so I hope you will reconsider your perception. I believe she still wants to know you. However, it is better to move slowly sometimes as will my new Love doctor.
Aww don’t worry about my pain that receded long ago I was hoping you could relate it to your own
I am among those who hope something comes of this affair. And that your cardiac situation is resolved quickly and to your total satisfaction.

In all ways.

Great story. And thanks for the comments on my freshman at university story.
I just was thinking how the heart doesn't get cancer. Best Wishes Snarkychaser. Yes, please keep us posted. Great that you have a good doctor.
I have read anecdotes about heart transplant recipients taking on the traits of the donors. Mystery or muscle memory? Who knows?
Wow, snarky, I missed this. I am so sorry, but the new hearts they put in are amazing. Back to your present RedBelly post~