We are stalking liberals. They are a dangerous creature when cornered and fascinating to watch in their environment. Law abiding, job holding, tax paying conservatives are often unnerved by the liberals around them. It isn’t just their unusual style of dress, the fact that certain species look like they fell face first into a tackle box, arrogance, obscenity spewing, and strange ideas, but the fact that many of them smell bad. The difference between a hippie and a homeless person is the fact that homeless people use soap. Let us examine some of the species a little closer.
Islamofascists: I don’t know if it is the lack of running water, the level of suffering and misery in their home countries, or the lack of danceable music, but these folks bring a level of hysteria to their cause that is simply explosive.
Anarchists: For whatever reasons, the anarchists in America have united, which kind of defeats the whole “anarchy” thing. These are the folks who often times look like they could be trolled behind the boat while trout fishing. Although they despise capitalism, they use the tools of capitalism, such as, cell phones, doc martins, dickeys, and twitter.
Moms for Peace: They are members of the leisure class. Typically the most hygienic of the groups. They have no problems using the tools of capitalism such as cell phones, twitter and expensive colognes.
Communists: They have certainly come out of the wood work in the last six months. They have been emboldened by Dear Leaders election. But, you can shut them up quickly, by asking them to name their favorite communist dictator. They will be hard pressed to name someone who hasn’t been responsible for tens of thousands of deaths up to millions of deaths, in the name of communism. This species then panics and says communism was never “properly” implemented.
Granolas: The worst smelling of the bunch. Hippies who would rather ruin the agricultural industry than see a smelt harmed. You can often find this species in trees. They think nothing of spending days or weeks in a tree, chained to it, stinking up the forest, to try and prevent logging.
Intellectuals: Including pretend intellectuals. They can be found on college campuses throughout America. These people seldom make public statements about what they are trained in but prefer to make statements about things they have no training in. A typical example of this is the Art History professor making sweeping recommendations regarding healthcare reform.
Hacktivists: These people are usually unhygienic, but not as bad as hippies. Mom and dad will often make them shower, once they are lured out of the basement and away from the computer. They thrive on manipulating others computer systems in the name of activism for some liberal cause.
College Students: They can typically be found on campuses nationwide, protesting the denial of free speech by day and throwing pies at Ann Coulter at night, for her speaking freely. Their behavior is puzzling due to this and conservatives should never turn their back on one.
Hollywood Activists: They are a large and plentiful bunch. They preach about the evils of global warming and then get into their private plane and fly away. They demand gun control and denounce the second amendment, but insist their body guards are strapped and packed
You are now more prepared for your protests, tea parties and ventures into the public healthcare forums. Just remember, a liberal when cornered is a dangerous species. They will display their fangs and attempt to take you off of issue, by calling you a fascist, racist and other derogatory terms. Do not hesitate to challenge them during these rants. Ask them: Who taught you that? What would make you think that? Where did that idea come from? Why would you say that? When did you first start believing such nonsense? You will force them to think about their position. You won’t win hearts and minds, but you will create cognitive disruption and may, over time, allow them to see all sides of the argument.
Islamofascists: I don’t know if it is the lack of running water, the level of suffering and misery in their home countries, or the lack of danceable music, but these folks bring a level of hysteria to their cause that is simply explosive.
Anarchists: For whatever reasons, the anarchists in America have united, which kind of defeats the whole “anarchy” thing. These are the folks who often times look like they could be trolled behind the boat while trout fishing. Although they despise capitalism, they use the tools of capitalism, such as, cell phones, doc martins, dickeys, and twitter.
Moms for Peace: They are members of the leisure class. Typically the most hygienic of the groups. They have no problems using the tools of capitalism such as cell phones, twitter and expensive colognes.
Communists: They have certainly come out of the wood work in the last six months. They have been emboldened by Dear Leaders election. But, you can shut them up quickly, by asking them to name their favorite communist dictator. They will be hard pressed to name someone who hasn’t been responsible for tens of thousands of deaths up to millions of deaths, in the name of communism. This species then panics and says communism was never “properly” implemented.
Granolas: The worst smelling of the bunch. Hippies who would rather ruin the agricultural industry than see a smelt harmed. You can often find this species in trees. They think nothing of spending days or weeks in a tree, chained to it, stinking up the forest, to try and prevent logging.
Intellectuals: Including pretend intellectuals. They can be found on college campuses throughout America. These people seldom make public statements about what they are trained in but prefer to make statements about things they have no training in. A typical example of this is the Art History professor making sweeping recommendations regarding healthcare reform.
Hacktivists: These people are usually unhygienic, but not as bad as hippies. Mom and dad will often make them shower, once they are lured out of the basement and away from the computer. They thrive on manipulating others computer systems in the name of activism for some liberal cause.
College Students: They can typically be found on campuses nationwide, protesting the denial of free speech by day and throwing pies at Ann Coulter at night, for her speaking freely. Their behavior is puzzling due to this and conservatives should never turn their back on one.
Hollywood Activists: They are a large and plentiful bunch. They preach about the evils of global warming and then get into their private plane and fly away. They demand gun control and denounce the second amendment, but insist their body guards are strapped and packed
You are now more prepared for your protests, tea parties and ventures into the public healthcare forums. Just remember, a liberal when cornered is a dangerous species. They will display their fangs and attempt to take you off of issue, by calling you a fascist, racist and other derogatory terms. Do not hesitate to challenge them during these rants. Ask them: Who taught you that? What would make you think that? Where did that idea come from? Why would you say that? When did you first start believing such nonsense? You will force them to think about their position. You won’t win hearts and minds, but you will create cognitive disruption and may, over time, allow them to see all sides of the argument.
Okay, maybe not, but it is fun to mess with them isn’t it?
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vonnia
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