Jean Holewa

Jean Holewa
Location
Minneapolis - St. Paul, Minnesota,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I'm a baby-boomer, empty-nester, speaker, writer, social media enthusiast who finds great pleasure and perplexity in what some people share on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Frankly speaking, it's just nuts! Life is easier lived when people create and follow boundaries between what is good and fun enough to share while maintaining dignity by keeping intimately personal matters private. http://www.simplysquirrelfood.com

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Salon.com
APRIL 17, 2012 8:00AM

To Be or Not to Be...A Friend

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'Folded up like paper dolls...' photo (c) 2011, Nomadic Lass - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/















Even though I've got my Facebook privacy settings buttoned down tight, I still manage to get friend requests from people I do not know. I'm sorry to say I don't always remember people's faces, but I usually remember the names of people even from my distant past. It can get more complicated with women due to name changes upon marrying. Sometimes I find myself peering at the tiny thumbprint profile picture searching for a glimmer of familiarity, and those that substitute the kids or pets for their own photo don't help me out at all. When all else fails, I look for hints by checking how many mutual friends we have. After that, if I still cannot connect this person to a time and place in my life, I disregard the invitation.

I have a couple of hundred people listed on my Facebook page as my 'friends'. They come from all parts of my life. Some are family, some are old classmates (sorry to keep calling you guys old!), and most are people I've met while working. Sprinkled in are a few kids of friends and friends of my kids. Some I know well, others more casually, yet I've met face-to-face each and everyone of them. I'm not so confident that, at least a few of my friends, can say the same.

Three people I know have over 1,000 Facebook friends, raising a few immediate questions like: 1. Why?  2. Where did they come from?  3. Who are they?  Collecting a large number of friends on Facebook does not make one popular. If anything, it shows a lack of disregard for online security and that of the friends they actually know. While some people may find great adventure in engaging in risky online behavior, I for one, do not.

At this time, Facebook's privacy settings allow only two choices for who can send friend requests: everyone or friends-of-friends. Neither of these options offer an adequate shield from the thousands of phantom friends a few of my contacts have amassed. I get particularly concerned when any of these phantom individuals extend a friend request to me. I have no idea what their agenda is, but I'm certain it isn't to benefit me.

I advise everyone to familiarize themselves with the Facebook Privacy settings options. Restricting who can access your personal information is the first place to start. Whenever possible, disallow friend-of-friend exposure.

As for the people you really do know - connect and reconnect, interact and share...that's what makes a great friendship!

Additional reading:
Over-Disclosed is Over-Exposed
Invasion of the Apps


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