Hi! My name is Mary Lin!

You may know me by my previous career as SpamINator 10,000 but I've decided, after numerous death threats and three boyfriends telling me to go screw myself and walking out of my life forever, I would become a legit blogger, telling the tales of my life, my love, my hates, my fashionably comfortable boots, all the stuff that makes blogging fun!

I was born in the highlands of Nebraska, where I was named after my mother, Mary Q. Contrary.  My father left us to become a circus clown and mother was very sad, so sad, she ran away too, to become a French Canadian.

I was left, as the oldest, to raise my three brothers and five sisters, all named Wayne, after our uncle Wayne Newton.  It was very hard.  I quit the 1st grade and began my life's journey, going down the road that never ends except when you die.

I tried my hand at dealing blackjack in Las Vegas, but at the age of ten years old, nobody wanted to hire me, so there I sat, with all my brothers and sisters, and we began to sing, sad songs, about our stinky life, and people began throwing money at us.

"Please, horrible little children, shaddup!! Here's a dollar to stop!" And hence began our career as 'Those Horrible Little Children, here's a Dollar to Stop!' which we changed to Wham.

Years later, some other band would try to steal our name, but we were the original Wham, we sang such greats as, 'Wake me up before you wham!' and 'Caught in a Prostitution Sting!' which were recorded by Lousy Records.

We made hundreds if not twenty five cents in our recordings.

The band broke up in 1999 but I tried to continue as a solo career, which was named, 'The Jackson that wasn't a Jackson but looks like one, so, uh, HI!' which my manager shortened to 'The Backstreet Boys'.

Well, you know the rest of that story.

Years later, I decided to quit and moved to China where I met my friend and mentor, Ja Hawne Cockinstuff, where we created our giant marketing scheme known to the world as COOLSTUFFTOSELLTOSTUPIDPEOPLE.COM!

Ugg boots, cheap.  We were unstoppable.   And we began our journey.

One which ended here.  I found myself in a cheap hotel room in Alaladankastuffens, Iran, snorting cocaine off the butt of a gay glam dancer named Rico Suave with a lit candle stuck up my butt singing

'I'm a little tea pot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout....'

That's the day I decided to quit and become a legit blogger.

Hi. My name is Mary Lin.  I shall spam no more forever.

I hope you will accept me.