Oh, dear me:

There are no words which will still the insanity of what you already have, and will continue to,  survive.  

I am sorry.  I am sorry you have had to endure the travesty of what will later be described as "being a child soldier in your own home." 

Your parents are not the world.  They are only two people.  They are sick.  You will survive them and find the true meaning of family by finding yourself first.

There is no need to be jealous of what you don't have - it only looks better because you're on the bottom rung.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, has their issues.

You are beautiful beyond what you look like, but you are beautiful physically, too.  You will be able to reclaim this for yourself, I swear.

Not everyone who compliments you wants something from you.  The way you hear it and the way they say it are two different things.  Don't assume people's intentions - ask them.

You are brave.  You are unwaveringly brave and I am so proud of you for that.  I do not know anyone braver - know that and let that wrap you up with the strength you will need.

Justice will not look like what you think it will.  Have hope anyway.  Don't ever give up on hope.  In those split-seconds that you do, you will see the universe in an entirely new way and you will be grateful for that adventure, too.

You will lose a son but he will never be lost to you.  

You will marry a man who will grind away at life with you - it looks nothing like what you think marriage is supposed to be now.  Believe it or not, you choose wisely; good on you.

You will have a daughter.  She will teach you the essence of humanity.  You will hold her tighter than any other treasure as you know how precious it is to lose a child.  You will be a good mother even though you don't ever think you will have kids again.

Laugh as much as possible.  Find a way.  The darkest of humor will carry you through. When you forget to have fun and stay light, you will sink under the weight of baggage you were handed.  So laugh - often.

You will find God.  It won't be the God you used to laugh at in all the churches you have visited with friends.  It will be real and deeply personal.  You will have a connection which defies description.  I know you hate 'Him' now - but you will see the truth.  I promise.

Most of all, I want you to know, how delighted I am to get to know you.  The real you will have a chance to come out and shine.  You had to survive an inordinary amount of pain and your wonderful brain did its job to protect you from much of it.  You will regain all your faculties.  Your acting helped you live, be proud of that, be proud of how you survived.  Really, who could say how to do it better?  Don't ever beat yourself up for what you could not control.

Thank you for staying.  Thank you for clinging to the earth when you wanted to float up to the clouds so many times.  It will all be worth it - you'll see.

Love,

The woman who knows you best