Dedicated to my NUMEROUS friends and family who are in the sights of the vultures, waiting to be devoured by predatory lenders, greedy speculators and evil health insurance companies. It’s not a reality show! It’s the real lives of the people I love!   

It’s interesting how my concept of tolerance seems to be so different than many people around me. I find it impossible to give it a positive connotation because of how it has been applied to me. By its very nature it suggests that something is wrong or bad, that I should “tolerate” something out of acceptance that I cannot change it. I understand how there may be some situations in life that require that kind of compromise. But after spending an entire lifetime being the object of tolerance, understanding down deep in my heart that I am not the broken, perverted sinner others “tolerate” out of recognition that they cannot change me, I wait instead for acceptance that seems to always be just out of reach. For me, tolerance seems to be the problem, not the solution. It conveniently cuts off the dialog that might eventually lead to acceptance. It allows people to secretly retain their prejudices, patting themselves on their backs for a false sense of goodness, while behind the scenes, buoyed by self-righteous smugness, they continue to support discrimination!

My vision of tolerance grows out of my experience as a Gay man in an extremely homophobic culture. It brings up interesting questions in the current political climate. Only true acceptance can guarantee my rightful place in society as an equal. I find myself becoming more and more intolerant of others I see as charlatans. Women, People of Color, Latinos, Native Americans and Immigrants are all groups with similar experiences to mine as a homosexual. That’s why we are the targets of the charlatans, those phony patriots who claim to defend a constitution they have never read and allude to founding fathers who would roll over in their graves at the ideologies they espouse! In a world where tolerance is distorted to mean we should accept the unacceptable, victims are seen as perpetrators. In a world where all ideas and ideologies get equal billing, equality becomes impossible, because the very concept of equal is totally destroyed in the absence of duality! “Everything is OK!”  

Democrats are not good enough for me simply because they are the lesser of two evils! Why is it so hard for people to understand why I am unable to join them in their false faith and false hope? How am I supposed to “believe” that I am really a part of the Democratic Party when the culture I live in excludes me from virtually everything? Should I “believe” because the President says he “believes” in equality for the LGBT community out of one side of his mouth while claiming he “believes” that marriage is between one man and one woman out of the other side of his mouth? Am I supposed to be consoled that his “belief” is based on his religion; the same religion that has stalked me my entire life with adjectives like sinner, abomination and the threat of death or eternal damnation? Promise after political promise, a few crumbs thrown in occasionally, then apologies for the need for the Justice Department to pursue legal challenges against promises like the repeal of DADT! Yes, the Democrats are just charlatans of a different color. For both sides we are just pawns! And to think I actually believed when Barack Obama said “change is coming to America,” I actually thought he meant change is coming to America!

The believers tell me to stop whining! “Look back at what Obama has accomplished in the last two years!” But, as always, I have a different view of the last two years. I remember the first time my heart stopped at the first betrayal by a man to whom I gave all my trust and hope, based on his eloquent speeches. The first betrayal was the incredibly insensitive “marriage is one man and one woman” statement, followed by President elect Obama’s meeting with Rick Warren who was quick to equate Gay marriage with “crimes” like incest and rape! And the swift response to my objections of the choice of Warren to give the inaugural invocation was the ever familiar “Everyone has their opinion and we can all agree to disagree!” In other words, tolerate the intolerable! Accept the unacceptable!

Then came the appointment of Wall Street Bankers to fix the Wall Street created global meltdown, the rationale being that the ones who made it will know best how to dismantle it, except for the fact of “conflict of interest.” And for all the talk about Main Street being more important than Wall Street, Obama forgot his campaign speech about trickle-down being an illusion, going instead for the idea that fixing Wall Street will fix Main Street. It was just trickle down voodoo economics repackaged. Then there was the secret meeting on Health Care where Obama gave away the store by throwing away the negotiating tool of the Public Option. Two years of throwing the base under the bus to the sound of Obama’s devotees telling the speakers of truth to stop whining! In the last days of the midterm campaign, Obama returns with the eloquent speeches, asking forgiveness for letting us down, expecting us to believe he won’t do it again! Time after time he reached out to “the other side,” pulling his hand away from us, extending it to the ones who voted against him, while repeatedly telling his base to be silent!   

I’m tired of chasing rainbows! I do not want to be a part of the collective hypnotic trance! I cannot contain myself any longer! I need to speak the truth whether you want to hear it or not. Our political system is broken beyond repair! Our infrastructure is crumbling because we have a government that is being run “like a business” with no revenue coming in because ALL taxes are bad! We have a legal system that hands out “Get Out of Jail Free” cards to those at the top, while we are nickeled and dimed to death so Exxon Mobile won’t have to pay taxes. No matter how many people hold hands and chant positive platitudes, the truth is our votes are worthless, our legal system is corrupted, our financial system is a crapshoot and our religious institutions have been corrupted by deception and hatred. The rule of discourse is simple: “Shoot the messenger!”

So go ahead and tell me it’s my fault if I do not vote, it’s my fault if I do not blindly follow our leaders over the cliff, it’s my fault for losing faith! Go ahead and tell me I’m anti-Obama for making legitimate criticisms as he asked us to. I can take it because it’s no different than when you told me it was my fault that the homophobe bullies beat the shit out of me for being myself in public! It’s no different than when you told me it was my fault that health care costs were too high because I refused to pay outrageous monthly premiums to “for profit” corporations who turned their greedy backs on my loved ones with AIDS! Yes, I know all the BS by heart now.

Here’s what I know for sure: “truth has become a four letter word!” The truth is the whole house of cards is crashing down upon us and anyone who dares to acknowledge it becomes the enemy! We are India and the Corporations, Wall Street and the Banks are the British Empire. The way out is no longer from the inside! The way out is to not participate in the “Mistake.” The way out is to stop pretending lunatics and criminals can be legitimate leaders! We need to bring the whole corrupt system to a screeching halt! The runaway train will not suddenly and magically stop at the end of the track. The crash is inevitable! And the legitimate list of accomplishments of the past two years will mean absolutely nothing as they lie burning in the wreckage!

So go ahead everybody, gather up your excuses and your accusations and your platitudes! But give them to someone else. I’m not interested! I’m in no mood to tolerate any more BS! Voting in a system that is totally corrupted by money will not solve the problem when those who are receiving the money are the only ones who have the power to take the money out of politics! Believing that “democratically” elected politicians actually have power in a plutocracy will not solve our problems! Believing that a totally broken system will magically repair itself tomorrow is not rational when it’s obvious the system has been deliberately destroyed from the inside by greed! Believing that compromise is possible with people who proudly and openly flaunt their uncompromising obstructionist positions is actually insane!

The believers want me to drink their Kool-Aid! They want me to believe that you can actually win when the deck is stacked against you. They want me to believe that the glass is half full when it is actually upside down and the last drop is about to leave the vessel and they have nothing to offer but to say that I am being too negative. They want my vote and my support one more time, believing that I am like the abused wife who will always return in spite of the bruises and the broken ribs. And just like the deranged husband, they will sit around wondering why I can’t see that they really do love me after all! But now I know that all they really want is my vote.

So sorry Honey, don’t wait up, because I’m never coming home again!

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results."

Before I close, let me make one more attempt at opening my heart for those who still don’t get it. I’ll change the analogy from a runaway train to a sinking ship. The ship is going down and all of the first class passengers are in the lifeboats, but everyone else is left to sink or swim. In the past week my eyes have been opened to the outrageous numbers of people who are still living on the edge of disaster. Inside the Beltway they do not see these people. Outside the Beltway the heartless vultures see them very clearly, waiting to swoop down to devour their homes and their life savings! There are no reliable safety nets to save them from the vultures.