First thing this morning, I:

a)      stumbled to the kitchen to feed the cat whose breakfast cry is rivaled only by Godzilla breathing fire.

b)      rolled up the body in an oriental carpet and dragged it to the trunk of the car for later disposal.

c)      laid in bed for a while thinking of excuses to not go to work and then scolded myself since I should be grateful just to have a job.

d)     “got it on” with the gorgeous 20-something-year-old next to me.

e)      Two of the above. 

About 10 o’clock, after I got back from the gym,

a)      there was a knock on my door and it was a Strip-O-Gram from my Mom.

b)      I looked in the mirror to see if this was the workout that has miraculously lifted my (slightly)sagging ass back where it belongs.

c)      Matthew McConaughey called and asked if I could go to lunch today.  I told him I can’t; I’m too busy running errands and paying bills online.

d)     All of the above.

 In an effort to save money,

a)      I made my lunch to bring to work (turkey & avocado sandwich, yogurt, fruit salad, Pepper Jack Cheezits, peanut butter sandwich).

b)      my employer requires me to wear a uniform constructed out of recycled paper.  Dammit!  Ripped another shirt…where’s the stapler…

c)      Godzilla-cat runs on a wheel to power the generator I have hooked up to provide hot water for my shower.

d)     I had to climb up on the step ladder to fetch a pair of jeans that I left hanging from the ceiling fan.  Makes a great clothes-dryer while cooling down the home. 

Drove to work,

a)      and my radio was on really loud, so I tried to involve other drivers in a “sing-off” at the red lights. Eh, no takers.

b)      in reverse, the whole way.

c)      in my invisible plane (Wonder Woman had an estate sale—everyone’s hurting in this economy).

d)     Both b and c.

e)      All of the above. 

Once at work, I

a)      called everyone by wrong names on purpose. Weird how people rarely correct you. 

 b)      surfed the net, checked out OS, watched my stocks, read the news AND I still got paid!

c)      looked forward to 5 o’clock—that’s “Show & Tell” time.

d)     randomly went through other peoples lunches and helped myself (in an effort to save money). 

Finally. Ten o’clock and I

a)      shut down the Ring Toss booth and stopped to chat with my friend Joe at the Tilt-a-Whirl.

b)      realized the effort required to win a disgusting amount of money in the lottery needs to be raised to a Def-Con 4 priority.

c)      put the cape away until tomorrow.  City’s safe now.

d)     am pissed that the heliport on the roof is closed so they can repaint the landing strip.  Fuck!  Now how am I gonna get to Vegas in 30 minutes?  

Can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.