· Having the cashier at the grocery store call me by my name “Thanks for shopping at Safeway, Ms. Mind”. Like they fucking know me? They’re getting the info from my frequent shopper’s card. I don’t know who decided this would be a nice “personal touch”, but I think it’s creepy…we were never introduced, formally or informally. However, you are wearing a name tag, Andy. No, I don’t need ice or stamps, Andy. Yes, please put my milk in a bag, Andy. No, I can get to the car myself, Andy.
· The assholes who can’t walk 10 damn feet to return a shopping cart to the collection corral. I’ve seen able-bodied people push the cart just far enough away from their own vehicle so they can drive off. Always seems like the parking spots closest to the front of the store (that aren’t marked for handicapped) end up with 3-5 abandoned carts blocking them from use.
· People who use “You don’t know what you’re missing” as a rebuttal to someone else’s differing opinion. For example:
“Have some soup—it’s really good!”
“No thanks, I don’t like mushroom soup.”
“Oh, you don’t know what you’re missing!”Yeah, I think I do know what I’m missing—a completely unpleasant dining experience since, as an adult and not a 5-year-old, I am well aware that I do not like the taste of cooked mushrooms.
· We can send humans into outer-space and build nuclear reactors, but we still can’t “accurately” predict the weather. Given that I have had no professional training in this field, I do a pretty good job simply by looking out the window. Today: Dark clouds, possibility of rain going into tomorrow. Light winds.
· TV commercials pitching products for kids, that are aimed at the kids (and not at the adults who will be purchasing the junk). Not too long ago, there was some sort of primary-color-infused diaper/pull-up ad with a ridiculous song & dance about “going on the potty”. Are the 2 year olds now taking day trips to the market to buy their own stuff? Fucking stupid.
· People who say “supposably”. No such word, moron.
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Jonathan Wolfman
Doug Socks
Half-Assed Attempts At Adulthood
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Kerry Lauerman
The Good Daughter
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Comments
People who think I have an eating disorder because I'm NOT overweight.
Someone said to me in the checkout line recently: That'll be $...., Sweetie. I said, "Thanks HONEY."
Yikes!
with that said, I never correct people who say those words because I can't stand when people do that to me. that would be on my "I hate" list.
i had a friend correct my speech last week while i was in the middle of telling her something relatively important...and she was wrong to boot! and i wanted to eviscerate her.
and i want to hear about your break-up and stuff...i'm sure its ripe for the picking. i wonder why you felt you had to promise not to write about it? too self-indulgent or something? then write "once upon a time, there was a love arizonian princess who met an emotionally distant prince..."
anyway, you seem like a solid writer. i look forward to more.
Scupper: The only time I don't mind that is when it comes from a Grandma-type!
Beth: I admire your bravery with the italic usage (I've not ventured there yet) so I hope you're not upset that I don't delete! Thanks for your comment--means a lot to me coming from you.
this post reminds me of my PITA post a while back (pain in the ass).
irregardless of all that I heard that Beth Mann was supposably a pretty good writer. HA
nice post spotted, and vzn should not be taken seriously. don't throw away the healthy food and the ab roller.
Rob's post about in editing in Open Salon
and thanks for stopping by!