The first pile of cash, lost to the airport bar in Phoenix.

Darcy and I were reprimanded on the plane for being too rowdy during the emergency procedures announcement, but trust me, we were in no shape to be saving any lives if the plane went down. I guess they also don’t have any need for sarcastic commentary in the event of an air disaster.  Good thing the flight was less than an hour.

Our flight was a little late, check-in was slightly gnarly, and we were starving!  I called Lonnie after we ate and he was already on his way to the Luxor to meet BuffyW  for dinner. So Darcy and I just headed over to NY NY and guess what we saw?

Shit!  What If my head really pops off like that?

A slightly inebriated and friendly stranger offered to take this pic of me and Darcy with the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots.  I think he really wanted us to get in a fight—he told Darcy his money was on her, but then added that I looked like I could “take a punch”.  There was no pudding anywhere, so what fun would that be?

*Vegas tip:  the ladies room at NY NY even has cup holders!  Not one, but TWO! Double up!

Finally, about 10:30pm, we all met up at Bally’s and then took the OS travelling circus over to “Le Central” in Paris. 

Mr. Verbal, Lonnie, Verbal, Emma Peel, Cartouche, Me

Cartouche & Lonnie 

Lonnie and Verbal feeling the love...

Cartouche had to get in on it

Cartouche, Lonnie, Verbal & me

Yet another distinguishable restroom adventure:  While you’re doing your business in the restroom just off of Le Central, there is an audio system playing English to French “and it touts the learning as “practical phrases” . Some snippets of such:  “If my husband calls, tell him I am not here” and “I am never drinking again”. I had to tear myself away from this to get back to the OS antics.

We met Rory (of “Siegfried & Rory” fame) sans tigers:

Cartouche photo-bombing "Roy"

Throughout the course of our time at Le Central, Cartouche performed a death-defying cheerleader split and Darcy demonstrated the “tie-a-cherry-stem-in-a-knot-with- your- tongue” trick:

The victim stem

Down the hatch—you’re not part of the trick

The knotted stem

There was a pilgrimage from one tower of Bally’s to the other as we needed to move luggage.  All were in agreement that the hallway was reminiscent of “The Shining” and we half-expected to see a kid riding a Big Wheel and two really creepy twin girls:

Cartouche got a bit disorderly in the elevator, so Lonnie had to keep her in line:

Lonnie & Darsky in the elevator

We then went for the “$6 Steak & Eggs” across the street at Bill’s at 3am. It was so bad, Cartouche didn’t even eat hers:

Lonnie and I were sharing the same stream of consciousness and the Thrilla in Vanilla met Pink Floyd: “You can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!  How can you have any pudding, if you don’t eat your meat?!?”  And somehow, Meat Floyd was born.  And then we all thought of nanatehay...

Saturday afternoon, we stopped by the OS cabana at Bally’s and had a few drinks while trying to formulate a plan for later that night:

BuffyW rocking the cabana 

That’s a big fruity drink

That’s another delicious fruity drink

That needs to be shared

One of the most beautiful people I've ever met, inside & out

We all agreed to meet at the Bellagio about 730-8pm that evening. So Darcy and I meandered down to the Mirage, and I swear, you see the strangest things in Vegas!

Just one. 

I thought this could have been planted for a scavenger hunt so I’d better leave it be. Or maybe someone was leaving a trail of clothing ( a la Hansel & Gretel),  to find their way back to the main lobby? I looked around expecting to find its mate, a pair of pants, or perhaps a stray sock.  Nope.  Nothing. We played the slots there for about 20 minutes and no one came by to claim it, and the waitress just kept stepping over it.

Later that night, yours truly was late to her own party!  We met up with everyone at the Baccarat Bar in the Bellagio around 830pm.  Lonnie gave a very nice toast and mentioned that Kerry & Joan would be impressed by the camaraderie,  and the fact we actually pulled off getting everyone together!   Cartouche even got me my own little chocolate mousse cake!  Freaky would be soooo jealousing. One of my birthday wishes actually came true at this point—I’ll never tell which one and you’ll never guess! 

Oh, and then we all “did” Cartouche.  Keep watching the posts for that one.  ;-)

After dinner, some of us adjourned to our hotels, but Darcy and I caught the Bellagio water show with Dorinda Fox & Randy:

 

 

We (Darcy and I) headed over to Diablo’s which was attached to the Monte Carlo:

 

 

 

There was a live band playing cover songs of every popular dance hit imaginable, lesbians making out on couches, douchebags hitting on chicks, dancing, and half naked waitresses pouring Skyy vodka down the throats of aforementioned douchebags.  

Around 2-3am, we decided we had enough of this debauchery and went to mellow out in the casino. We had a few more drinks, and were seriously just minding our own business, when these 2 beyond-drunk-and-passing-into-alcohol-poisoning-territory young men decided they had to share their “hot-ness” with us. More like “hot mess”. Dude was actually walking around with his shirt hanging off and while I didn’t want to get too close for fear of being vomited on, I couldn’t help but to play along and capture this level of idiocy:

 

Cartouche said I should have my own reality TV show. Based on…the amount of douchebags I attract?  Or my ability to convince drunken strangers that I really want a retarded photo with them?

It was like a terrible “didn’t make it off the cutting room floor” scene out of Night at the Roxbury, so I dubbed them “The DoucheBag Brothers”. Thankfully, that drove them away, staggering off in search of girls who might actually be drunk enough to think they were cute.

We got a late start on Saturday and had just enough time to make it back to Bally’s to bid farewell to the OS crew before we headed to the airport. I was privileged and lucky that day to don   http://open.salon.com/blog/dakinidancer  Dakini’s sunglasses, courtesy of Lonnie, which he explained were a keepsake item from her memorial service :  

 

http://open.salon.com/blog/lonnie_lazar/2009/07/05/theres_my_place_in_the_sun_-_dakini_dancers_memorial

*I was into OS for a few weeks before Dakini left us. Although I didn't ever have the pleasure to get to know her personally, I got caught up in the posts and was heart-broken  for the rest of the OS community and their terrible loss. Apparently everyone loved Josie, and I have come to liken her to my BFF Darcy--big heart, accepting of all, and not afraid of to do her own thing.  Whatever I have gleaned from Josie, I am a better person for it.*

  

Overall, the only regret I have is that there didn’t seem to be enough time to sit and chat with everyone individually, but the interactions I had over the weekend I will hold near & dear to my heart.  The fact that everyone made Darcy feel like part of the crowd, right off the bat, speaks volumes about the accepting and friendly nature of the whole OS crew.  This truly was the birthday I needed and I can’t thank everyone enough for making it one of the BEST birthdays ever!!!!

Here are links to everyone else’s blogs so you don’t miss their stories:

http://open.salon.com/blog/emma_peel

http://open.salon.com/blog/lonnie_lazar

http://open.salon.com/blog/cartouche

http://open.salon.com/blog/dynomyte

http://open.salon.com/blog/david_decker

http://open.salon.com/blog/buffyw

http://open.salon.com/blog/m_ah

http://open.salon.com/blog/dorinda_fox

http://open.salon.com/blog/verbal_remedy 

  

Much love to ALL, and thank you!!!!