So after a few brief thoughts, I have decided that I don't need to start a Death Cult as Andy suggested.
I will simply build a time machine which, according to Stephen Hawking, should be relatively easy once I acquire the necessary materials. How hard could it be to get my hands on "a wormhole, the Large Hadron Collider or a rocket that goes really, really fast" ????
My destination will be Egypt, roughly 5500 B.C. and all I will need to do is show them the following photos I have collected from the Internets, and it will end all the cat-worshipping:
*The last one is 'shopped of course, but they don't need to know that.
Because the cats are to blame for everything.
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Jonathan Wolfman
Doug Socks
Half-Assed Attempts At Adulthood
Andy Heizeler
Kerry Lauerman
The Good Daughter
Salon.com
Comments
My only fear, and this is a big one...what if by going back in time and showing them these pics, the resulting fear of cats leads to the worship of cats?
(Fear of Cat is the beginning of wisdom)
Not only that, but if you lose a pyramid shaped earring during the trip you could wind up being responsible for pyramids too!
On the other hand, it might just work! Give it a shot!
This get's a Heizeler Award of Excellence for saying that cats are to blame!
(And you're still the first one to be saved when the time comes...which will be soon....very very soon.)
Shark cats even. You sure that was shooped? Hilarious:)
Torman: Yup--waiting for that really fast rocket to be "rolled back"
Andy: Yes, who would've known that my ridiculous trivial knowledge of movie quotes would get me saved first? And don't worry, the possibilities with a functional time machine are endless...and there's always the failsafe of going back and never making the time machine. I got it all covered.
trig: Watch out for those SharkCats next time you're at the lake.
Two Thumbs: oh yes, AND they have NO thumbs...
Nana: Geez! Well, fear not. If I have some extra time this weekend, I'll see if I can whip you up a new one, using various items I find around the house. (twist-ties, stale bread, old queso dip, Damn! too bad I threw those moldy grapes away, un-polarized extension cord, can of pumpkin left over from Thanksgiving, random D cell battery that doesn't go to anything, etc.) Think you can make do for now?
You are an Evil UberGenius(TM!)
That's blasphemy in my death cult!! No Mars for cats! They all can go to Uranus!!
Andy: Old socks? Cool--we'll make Nana look like Kyle's Sock Monkey!
Stim: Yes, perhaps overthrowing the cats is futile, but we must try!
Denise: hey! Good to see you! You're welcome to come with me--we'll stop back in the 50's and pick up some totally cool retro outfits & furniture!
Two Thumbs: If cats had opposable thumbs, we'd be in more trouble than we already are. Just think what they could have done to poor Nana...
Sparking: Those cats belong to the Internets and no telling what kind of havoc they would cause aboard the time machine. They'll have to stay put. Sorry.
scanner: I'll see what I can do--need anything from the 80's? I may stop there to see if I could get my virginity back.
{{{R}}}
FF: I really do love cats...Ssshhhhh...don't tell anyone! ;-)
Polly: thanks! :-)