Stacey, ha!! I heard that Tiffany's was making out like a bandit with all of the Gingrich purchases for the Mrs.

D - Perhaps it is the Mrs. who is the bandit.

From the eulogy delivered at Newt's funeral by John McCain, the Republican nominee for President in 2008 and 2016:

My friends, on this solemn occasion, let us not demand the mean man -- I mean, demean the man; let us rise above the truth and speak of what might have been had this man been other than a short, fat, pompous ass with an embarrassingly inflated opinion of himself.

A lot has been said and written about Newt's roamin' hands and rushin' fingers. But before you cast the first stone, ask yourself if you were a short, chubby geek, and you had babes falling all over you because you had power and money, wouldn't you be tempted to flounder -- I mean become a philanderer?

I know I did -- I mean I know I would.

It's easy to point out the errors of the man's ways, but ask yourself how it might have changed your life if you'd been cursed with a name like Newt. Anyway, as the good book says, what does it profit a man to gain the world, but lose it to a troll?

Perhaps troll is too harsh a word, and others may disagree as to the relative beauty of the ever-ostentatiously bejeweled Calista Ringrich -- I mean Gagbitch -- I mean -- oh, to hell with it, I'm still a maverick, let's tell it like it is.

Without all that makeup and the expensive clothes, Calista couldn't have made it as a $2o hooker. Doesn't it say something about Newt as a human being, about his kindness and generosity, that he would lavish a fortune in other people's money in an attempt to make her appear semi-beautiful?

So it didn't work, so what? You can put lipstick on a pig, but she's still a pig. Nobody knows that better than me, why back in 2008 ...

At this point, McCain began to weep profusely and blubber incoherently and had to be led from the stage.

Tom - that's a scream.

And on July 4, 2025, President Bristol Palin attended the opening of The Gingrich Memorial, celebrating the 45th president. (I think I just scared myself silly).