AUGUST 11, 2012 3:07PM

We Who Are About to Be Outed Sing in Thirteen Part Harmony

Rate: 11 Flag


I have been blogging here under false pretenses ever since eve got away with being eve2 and eve3.

Face it: her posts weren't any the better for cross-commenting and rate inflations, but for a while the fawning made it contagious.

Then we learned not only of the ruse but the number who had been in on it for a while. Is that some kind of reverse renaissance when a person has to diversify personas to have diverse pursuits? Chacun à son goût, I suppose.


I think if you work the system here for hits, rates, and comments, it's like playing "Riven" with the solutions. But I say that in full Abramoff mode and in need of your sympathetic eye and redeeming heart.

Forgive me salonistas for I have committed what I am learning is the ultimate salonista sin: I have been multiple members.

Not that freak cat on YouTube - that's in solid, blinking caps. I mean I have signed up as and networked socially as thirteen bloggers you've come to know and heap upon.




Remember the fun I had with miit sakaguchi, Japanese film maker and self-made icon. It was amazing how many of the "old guard" were completely fooled.


I was handybob. There, I've said it. Mystery solved.

The wildly popular addition to the "DIY" section of the cover page and that whole "ask handybob" feature? Yours truly.




so right? so right was one that got away.



avatar_kingofthewildfrontier I became davy. Location: a mountaintop in Tennessee. Bio: killed me a bar, when I was only three. (Fessin' is good for the soul.)



avatar_lippiyoung machiavellian in texas was widely reviled. But it proved the old adage that websites as primitive and klugey as OpenSalon could use at least a good adage. You may thank me when the haze of your own involvement clears.



avatar_nikki_minajgirlfriend met with an abrupt PM from The Lord.




avatar_rocket_jhokeysmokes was Mr. Peabody hacking my salonista account.





 6% solution was deemed by the membership writ large as not strong enough.




avatarscream As was munchies.





avatar_shaun_the_sheepWith shorn: the sheep my OpenSalon presence soared to stratospheric virality.




avatar_hackewrpersona was a true test to remain anonymous, after the investigation of site statistics had become recreational. 




avatar_fairey_romneyI was thinking of one more, mittville_romnencocker, until OS went "outing-crazy" on folks like me.




avatar_grouchoBusted, and on the verge of a thoroughly justified backlash from folks like you, savvy reader, I pledge from now on to pick one identity and stick with it. (No I won't release the condition of the fingers behind my back.)

So George: why don't you introduce our next contestant.

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You've said the magic word, "dust-up." You've won fifty dollars.
I want to join that roguish army you just displayed. I have a Master's Degree...may I be an officer?........OK, maybe a Captain, or....General
Good thing you came clean before you adapted a Ryan post with a widow's peak.
Whaaaaaat??? I am disgusted, sir, truly disgusted at this egregious, outrageous, and duplicitous behavior, and I am imMEDiately removing you and all your alters from my favorites list and the favorites lists of all my alters!
I make this comment to laugh somehow.
It is ugly 'round these parts of the webby world .
And where is some nice wood grain pics for me to ou and ah over??
I have adored all your well made alters friend .
Stacey, gather the group for a round of drinks's time to party!
Gary - I may wish to retroactively disband this far from well-ordered militia for the rust and the cobwebs. Down by the riverside.

Lea - Ha! (Charlie Pierce of Esquire calls Ryan the "zombie-eyed granny starver.")

Nan - My second will call upon your third who will tell my third to tell my second the terms of this dust-up. Sunset good for you?

Suz - Mama says ugly is as ugly does.

designanator - we need us a cocktail: vodka/dust, up with an olive. Make mine a double. Okay, another double.
Sunset it is then, Stacey. For weapons I choose lemon zesters, but with the sharp parts covered in duct tape which has been doused in a mixture of epoxy and ground glass.
That is sooooo Mad Max, ~hay. Alrighty then. Two men enter. One's bedtime is way before the other's. It is ON like Formosa Oolong.

But, all seriousness aside, anyone who stumbled upon this without following the above link will have missed a full airing of grievances about deceptions and thoroughgoing wastes of time. Satire is a fine line to walk and I pray there are no misunderstandings. And as far as Sirenita goes' this blows my mind. Because every time I just knew there was something hinky going on, I meant to PM Sirenita and say "really? That sounds too fishy. What do you know?" We walked through something like this a few years back.

Oh and cheers!
Yeah, history does have a way of repeating itself, and where would we be without satire? Still, now that you've crossed me you'll never leave Thunder Dome alive.
There are two "last words" involving rednecks that may pertain here. (Do what?) The first is said by the redneck: "betch-yain't never seen this before." YouTube would have half the hits otherwise.

The other is said to: "hey fuck you if you can't take a joke."

I've lost track, Captain Walker. Am I buying this round?
This one's on me, if y'all don't mind a cocktail of cooking sherry and expired Robitussin. Pops used to drink vanilla extract when there was nothing else in the house and his arm was tired out from beating us, but that's a topic for another post and besides, there's what, 10% alcohol at most in vanilla extract?
outrageous!! i will be submitting this to the editorial staff for enforcement by the TOS Squad immediately!

big laughs, stacey. you are a clever photoshopper groucho guy. but could you move mitten's pic away from the link to my blog, please? my sensitive democratic skin, you know. :)
~tears~ Your post has made me want to confess my own "Multis" but I don't even know who I am so....*WEEPS*
i are a multitude, we from Sirius are clones, sing in perfect unison...or would if we had mouths. hav tried blogging, but all posts identical and get eliminated as spam. (yum, spam, 2 bad we have no mouths).
Stacey, at your service any time you feel that something hinky is up. We'll get in on it, too, and get us some views, rates, comments, friends, EPs and/or a Pulizter. In the meantime, rest assured that I have erased all traces of your alters and their comments, rates, embarrassing confessional posts, dust-ups, self-published plagiarized books and online adultrous affairs. Well, I left handybob because my younger, prettier but more scatterbrained alter, mergirl, thinks he's hot.
Candy - mitt sack o' gucci. I know your skin is thicker than any avatar. A public and unashamed "thank you" for your sleuthing.

Tink - Ennio Morricone is whistling up your new theme song. So who should be cast as "the cat with no multis?"

G - serious?

Sirenita - I have my ads blocked so I can't see them, but I'll wager Home Depot will want to advertise cooling appliances presently. And ditto what I said to femme above.