I don’t know how to dress for unemployment.

My previous job had no uniform and had little dress code, but I still wanted to look presentable.  Jeans and a collared shirt became my uniform, and I tended to look more professional than my clients.  In hindsight, my personal dress code clearly didn’t matter too much.

Now, I stand in front of my closet not only figuring out what to wear, but also figuring out where I want to go.  Instead of letting, say, a client lunch dictate my level of dress, I dress depending on which coffee shop I plan to go to that day.  Or rather, I now dress depending on if I’m going outside for more than walking the dog.  (Then the planning which coffee shop comes in to play.)

A West Hollywood coffee shop naturally gets a bit more thought into the overall outfit.  With Silver Lake or Los Feliz, it usually involves a pair of casual shoes.  I’ve never had the hipster look—usually too preppy for that—but hipster shoes haven’t been so bad.

While employed, I could be dressing for the clients, for the bosses, for my co-workers, but now that none of those people exist for me, I’m trying to dress for myself.  It’s easier with an audience.

And it’s usually a weekday problem.  Saturdays, I can dress for football.  A Michigan t-shirt and either a pair of shorts or jeans suffices.  Sundays are usually days my boyfriend and I go out to a movie, to do some shopping—window-shopping these days—or just be a bit casual around town.  There’s an audience then.

I’m not at the point where I’m my own audience.  Too much of me thinks that making myself my audience equals acceptance.  And then I think how terribly needy that sounds.  No, not needy.  That I need to define myself thru things like my job rather than thru who I am.  I’m not sure if that’s remnant of humble beginnings or some Midwestern work ethic or just general insecurities that comes with unemployment.  (What I know is that today is a nice button-down shirt, a matching sweater, jeans, and the hipster sneakers—a casual / preppy look for Larchmont.)

Of course spending money at the coffee shop also weighs on my pragmatism.  I can make coffee at home for a lot cheaper than buying it out, and I don’t spend the gas money to get to my kitchen.  Usually, the coffee shop’s internet connection isn’t as good as mine at home, so it even makes the job hunt that much more difficult.

But I need to get out of the house.  Although I love my dog, she doesn’t keep up her end of the conversation that well, and staying in doesn’t lend itself to making yourself presentable for the day.  And I can’t dress for the dog because she’s blind, so she wouldn’t care anyway.  Not that she did much before losing her eyesight, but still.

So today, I spent $1.85 on the cup of coffee and tipped the remaining 15 cents.  (It’s not much, but I’m going for whatever karma I can.)  I drove 2.2 miles from home for the coffee shop.  I applied to one job that I’m fairly qualified for.  But my only exercise today was that I parked three blocks from the coffee shop so I had to walk the extra distance while carrying my laptop.  And I didn’t have to pay the meter.