Dictionary.com defines a relationship as "an emotional or other connection between people". Euthanasia is Greek for "an easy or happy death, from eu- "good" + thanatos "death" (Okay, that last definition is very literal and etymological, but I don't want to offend anyone here).
So, now that we all know what each word is defined as, let's talk about what they mean together. Some people may be familiar with the Dane Cook skit about the couple who fights at the drop of a hat. Well, I saw that at the grocery store the other night. I popped in to grab some granola bars before I went to press check (Yay, press check. A bolt broke on the press and they didn't tell us!), and the guy in front of me let me skip ahead because I only had two items. Well, then his girlfriend shows up and picks a fight with him about why did he let me go ahead. When you are picking a fight about letting someone jump ahead in line, it might be time to commit Relationship Euthanasia.
I tend to use a mathematical formula.
RE = Relationship Euthanasia Quotient: The lower this number, the stronger the grounds for RE.
T = the amount of time spent together (hours per week). If you live together use 64 hours per weekQT = the interest quotient of the time spent together, ranked from 1-10.
1 - you spend 99% percent of the time wishing you were somewhere else, anywhere else, including doing a bed sore check at the Sumo wrestler training camp.
10 - there is nothing more in the world you would rather do but spend time with this person.L = length of the relationship in monthsS = status of the relationship. Values are on the following scale
Married – 3
Co-habitating – 2
Living separately in the same city – 1
Living apart an hour or more – 0.5A = How much this person annoys you when you think about them, if they are present in the room or not
1 - even when you think about this person your blood pressure
rises to lethal levels and that vein in your forehead starts to throb alarmingly and that nasty eye twitch re-appears.
10 – not even when this person farts in bed and flips the covers over your
head do they annoy you.
For example, lets say Susie and Lenny are living together and have been dating for 2 years. Susie wants to calculate the RE quotient of her relationship. So, here is how it would work
T = 64
QT = 5 (Overall, Susie is neutral about spending time with Lenny. Sometimes it is great,
sometimes not)
L = 24 months
S = 2
A = 7 (Susie isn’t all that annoyed by Lenny, yet)
RE = [(64x5)/(24x2)] x 7
RE = (320/48) x 7
RE = 46.7
That is a pretty high number so the risks associated with ending the relationship are higher.
If we have David and Katie and from David’s point-of-view the numbers look like this:
T = 3
QT = 2
L = 6
S = 1
A = 3
RE = [(3x2)/(6x1)] x 3
RE = (6/6) x 3
RE = 3
That number is getting pretty low so maybe David should think about where the relationship with Katie is going.
Now this is just a diagnostic tool, not a solution. I suggest that you use this equation to decide about your own relationship. Use it as a starting point to make changes.
Here is my RE from my last relationship, just as a final example.
T = 1
QT = 3
L = 36
S = 0.5
A = 2
RE = [(1x3)/(36x0.5)] x 2
RE = (3/18) x 2
RE = 0.33
Now that is a damn low number.
I ended it before it died a painful and lingering death. Sure, it wasn’t easy, but it was better than being scarred and broken from the ending I could have had.
And yes – I have too much time on my hands
So, now that we all know what each word is defined as, let's talk about what they mean together. Some people may be familiar with the Dane Cook skit about the couple who fights at the drop of a hat. Well, I saw that at the grocery store the other night. I popped in to grab some granola bars before I went to press check (Yay, press check. A bolt broke on the press and they didn't tell us!), and the guy in front of me let me skip ahead because I only had two items. Well, then his girlfriend shows up and picks a fight with him about why did he let me go ahead. When you are picking a fight about letting someone jump ahead in line, it might be time to commit Relationship Euthanasia.
I tend to use a mathematical formula.
RE = Relationship Euthanasia Quotient: The lower this number, the stronger the grounds for RE.T = the amount of time spent together (hours per week). If you live together use 64 hours per weekQT = the interest quotient of the time spent together, ranked from 1-10.
1 - you spend 99% percent of the time wishing you were somewhere else, anywhere else, including doing a bed sore check at the Sumo wrestler training camp.
10 - there is nothing more in the world you would rather do but spend time with this person.L = length of the relationship in monthsS = status of the relationship. Values are on the following scale
Married – 3
Co-habitating – 2
Living separately in the same city – 1
Living apart an hour or more – 0.5A = How much this person annoys you when you think about them, if they are present in the room or not
1 - even when you think about this person your blood pressure
rises to lethal levels and that vein in your forehead starts to throb alarmingly and that nasty eye twitch re-appears.
10 – not even when this person farts in bed and flips the covers over your
head do they annoy you.
For example, lets say Susie and Lenny are living together and have been dating for 2 years. Susie wants to calculate the RE quotient of her relationship. So, here is how it would work
T = 64
QT = 5 (Overall, Susie is neutral about spending time with Lenny. Sometimes it is great,
sometimes not)
L = 24 months
S = 2
A = 7 (Susie isn’t all that annoyed by Lenny, yet)
RE = [(64x5)/(24x2)] x 7
RE = (320/48) x 7
RE = 46.7
That is a pretty high number so the risks associated with ending the relationship are higher.
If we have David and Katie and from David’s point-of-view the numbers look like this:
T = 3
QT = 2
L = 6
S = 1
A = 3
RE = [(3x2)/(6x1)] x 3
RE = (6/6) x 3
RE = 3
That number is getting pretty low so maybe David should think about where the relationship with Katie is going.
Now this is just a diagnostic tool, not a solution. I suggest that you use this equation to decide about your own relationship. Use it as a starting point to make changes.
Here is my RE from my last relationship, just as a final example.
T = 1
QT = 3
L = 36
S = 0.5
A = 2
RE = [(1x3)/(36x0.5)] x 2
RE = (3/18) x 2
RE = 0.33
Now that is a damn low number.
I ended it before it died a painful and lingering death. Sure, it wasn’t easy, but it was better than being scarred and broken from the ending I could have had.
And yes – I have too much time on my hands
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Comments
Anyway, what is the formula for meeting a girl on the internet and not have it degrade into something weird?
I am beginning to think it impossible!
"Anyway, what is the formula for meeting a girl on the internet and not have it degrade into something weird?"
Meet a woman instead.
I tend to agree with Aaron Rury that perhaps the inverse would be a little more intuitive for people in using your formula. Like, "Ah, shit man, my RE with this dude is f'ing through the roof! Time to end this thing." But I suppose, from a mathematical perspective (*nerd alert*), you want the RE to have an absolute limit (of 0)? That does make sense.
Anyway, rated. For math solidarity.
Agreed about approaching the formula as an Inefficiency Ratio, hence the inverse.
I'm not sure I agree with the values you chose for your scale. Taking the first example you used of Susie and Lenny:
T = 64
Let's say Susie loves to spend every waking minute with Lenny --> QT = 10
If allthe other numbers are the same:
Then RE = 93.4 (as expected, twice the score, super duper relationship)
But what if they were married while all other factors stayed the same? Then S = 3, which would yield a lower RE. this implies being married automatically brings the value of the relationship down (some may actually argue that's true :])
However, one can make the assumption that A will decrease when S increases (the more time you spend with someone, the more likely they will start to annoy you). I like the annoyance factor included in the formula, but it seems that annoyance is more related to Stateof relationship (S) and Time spent together on a weekly basis (T). Since T and Qt are for the most part fixed, while L (length of relationship) is constantly increasing, it seems that no matter how good everything else is in the relationship, the longer it goes, the lower the RE.
I could be off on this, but please don't think I'm taking this seriously at all. This is all for shiggles and gits. Rated!
I would have replied earlier, but I can't seem to sign on on my home computer (vista issues, possibly?).
I should mention that I have a B.A in English Lit and a B.AC in Public Relations. Math, by no means, is my strong point. This was created all in good fun one afternoon on a long train ride home, while trying to find some good reasons to dump my a**hole ex. :) I use this more as an indicator of how things are going in a relationship, not as the reason to end it. Sometimes if you quantify how things are going, it helps you to see what needs work. Everyone is different; I seek refuge in scales from 1-10. :)
I realise that correlation is no causation. Thanks, OEsheepdog. :)
@Aaron Rury, ChicagoLawyer78 and Be_Good_To_Them_Always - And yes, I'm sure that if I knew what the inverse meant, it would make this much more effective.
@ Eric Lightborn - The Internet is not the place to meet a partner. Go out to parties, say hi to women where ever you go. I tried online dating for a while and there were always tears before bedtime. I met the love of my life at a party that I didn't want to attend. Just give people chances and cut yourself some slack. It'll happen, promise. :)
@-Erica- - 64 is the highest score I've seen. Nice. :)