A political consultant told me I needed to part with a long-time supporter. I agreed.

“Throw him under the bus,” he said. It seemed extreme, but I followed the advice. Police are calling it an accident.

Then my opponent accused me of “being in bed with lobbyists,” I became indignant. “I haven’t slept with any lobbyists – except that one time. We both were really ripped on Crown Royal and weed. Does that count?”

I still need a slogan with alliteration. Reformer with Results already has been used. I’m going to try Depressive with a Desire.

I pitched my campaign on fiscal management. I told a campaign gathering that, if my personal spending looked like Washington’s and I kept going to bankers asking for loans, they’d laugh me out of the building.

Now the financial news tells me otherwise; I should have asked for that loan.